Feel really guilty

[Listener2021]

DM(88) was coming to stay for a few days tomorrow. we were all looking forward to it. But dd and I have really horrible colds and I've cancelled. LTF tests negative, done 3 now.
Dm says she never catches colds and hasn't had one for years but I don't want to risk giving her this.
what would you do?

She is 88 and - I assume - a properly functioning adult, I'd respect her wishes.

I would respect her wishes.

I would let her decide for herself.

@Listener2021

DM(88) was coming to stay for a few days tomorrow. we were all looking forward to it. But dd and I have really horrible colds and I've cancelled. LTF tests negative, done 3 now. Dm says she never catches colds and hasn't had one for years but I don't want to risk giving her this. what would you do?

I'd have done a PCR not an LFT and if it was negative I'd have said she could come .

@Listener2021

DM(88) was coming to stay for a few days tomorrow. we were all looking forward to it. But dd and I have really horrible colds and I've cancelled. LTF tests negative, done 3 now. Dm says she never catches colds and hasn't had one for years but I don't want to risk giving her this. what would you do?

I'd do PCR tests as LFTs are not sensitive enough to rule out covid I'd you have symptoms

If*

Have her come a week later; why can't she come later?

Something I only learned last week from my GP and I thought I knew everything I needed to know. If you have any symptoms a LFT can and does show negative. Once you have one symptom of covid you need a PCR test. With the Delta variant there are many symptoms many showing as cold symptoms. What about doing a PCR and then deciding what to do.

@Prokupatuscrakedatus

She is 88 and - I assume - a properly functioning adult, I'd respect her wishes.

This.

What a shame for her.

Do a PCR, then if it's negative, and you feel well enough to have her,let your mum decide for herself.

Yes, it is a shame. She can come another time.

I just don't know how I could cook and take her out to places with a streaming cold and cough. And she does catch things, and then they seem to go on for ages. Her lungs still have pneumonia scars.

I wish it hadn't happened like this though.

@Thethreecs

Something I only learned last week from my GP and I thought I knew everything I needed to know. If you have any symptoms a LFT can and does show negative. Once you have one symptom of covid you need a PCR test. With the Delta variant there are many symptoms many showing as cold symptoms. What about doing a PCR and then deciding what to do.

Are you saying that if you're positive and you have symptoms, if you do a LFT it will be negative?

Because that's not true. I had covid and I had symptoms and all my LFTs were positive (I did a PCR too).

If you have a cough then get a pcr regardless of her coming

@hahaboink LFTs have a high false negative rate and will only pick up ¾ of positive cases (if you are lucky!). An LFT isn't sensitive enough to say you dont have covid. If you have symptoms you should take a PCR test as its more sensitive and picks up more cases

Well you didn’t mention your cough.

Cough needs a pcr

I second getting a PCR. If you are feeling grotty even just with a cold then her trip is better postponed. It isn't about her not minding, its about you not feeling up to hosting.

Well pneumonia scarred lungs is a piece of information you probably should have included in your OP.

I don't quite understand, OP. I read your OP as meaning that you're worried you may have Covid. But your update implies this is nothing to do with covid?

I had all the symptoms of Covid op.

Lfts all negative but did a pcr to be sure and negative.
The shitty cold was horrible but it took cold and flu capsules and carried on regardless.

A lot of colds are worse now because we've all been protecting our immjune systems.

Before Covid was a thing would you have stopped a visit for a bad cold?

@Prokupatuscrakedatus

She is 88 and - I assume - a properly functioning adult, I'd respect her wishes.

This.

If I was 88 I would want to live and enjoy every minute while I had them.

I have a bad cold. I assumed LF done 3 days running would pick up covid. And I think, statistically, it would done 3 times. Anyway, I can smell and taste and have no fever. I really don't think I have covid.

I didn't want to give her this cold.

I will get a PCR test.

I would avoid contact with an 88 year old if I had a cold, let alone a new and continuous cough.
‘Respect her wishes’ suggests that it’s something that only affects her, but if you are the host, she should respect your wishes and stop badgering you.
And yes, if you have a cough, do a PCR test.

@wtfisgoingonhere21

I had all the symptoms of Covid op.

Lfts all negative but did a pcr to be sure and negative.
The shitty cold was horrible but it took cold and flu capsules and carried on regardless.

A lot of colds are worse now because we've all been protecting our immjune systems.

Before Covid was a thing would you have stopped a visit for a bad cold?

Yes, I probably would. Because I think it's one thing taking meds and carrying on for myself, but another infecting an elderly person.

Will do a PCR and if negative get her here in a few days but dd won't be here which isn't so good.

When I saw the title of your thread, I thought maybe you had passed Covid to someone who died! Don’t feel guilty.

I wouldn’t feel guilty at all. Even pre Covid I would steer clear of my grandmother if I had a cold. I think it’s a sensible thing to do.

Perhaps you can rearrange her visit for a few weeks time?