Anyone else at breaking point with this?

[Greenhand]

Having struggled through the last 18 months, I have finally hit the very end of my coping point with this virus.

Technically I am CV due to the immunosuppressants I was taking, which I have been taken off in any case. I have an auto immune disease but generally am pretty well - I had the office lurgy last year in Feb and was hit the same as everyone else.

But knowing I will get covid and probably pretty soon due to the large case numbers is tipping me over the edge.

Not because I'm afraid of being ill (although I am sure it's going to be horrificallu awful looking at all the posts on here), not because I believe I will necessarily die, but because I am an athelete.

I train every day with a couple of rest days a month. I have worked incredibly hard to get here and finally I am seeing some progress in my 40s as an age grouper.

When I take a week off, it takes 2 weeks to get back to full fitness. That assumes full health. When I get covid, it could take months and months to get back to fitness as has happened to a couple of friends of mine. And given my auto-immune disease and age, I may never be able to compete again.

And that thought is crippling me with anxiety. I've done all the right things like going to the GP, having some counselling sessions but nothing is helping. And yes I've been back to the GP.

I had severe depression before and the only thing that helped was sport. If you take away being able to do sport, then there's nothing else I want from life.

Is there a reason to think you'd be severely affected by COVID - have your medical team said this?

How long have you been off the immunosuppressants and were you vaccinated whilst off them?

Why are you so convinced that you'll get it? As long as you follow all the appropriate protocols and are cautious about where you go/who you're with, then you should be fine.

And if you're vaccinated, then you are even more protected.

I'm sorry you're finding it so difficult but try to take a step back and don't focus on the negative picture.

If you've been off them for a while I'd suggest an antibody test in the first instance - would give you such peace of mind if it turned out you'd previously had COVID and not been aware.

Can you re-frame your thinking, to stop using the word 'when'? Substitute it with 'if'?

Whilst it’s true that covid is widespread, it’s not lurking around every corner. We have 69 million people in this country and have racked up approximately 7 million confirmed cases in the last eighteen months, there’s a fair way to go before everyone gets it (if they do). There will be more than that due to restrictions on testing early on and asymptomatic cases, but asymptomatic wouldn’t bother you anyway.

You have no control over this, and no way to know how your body would actually react to covid. Don’t borrow problems from tomorrow.

My medical team put me forward for a third vaccination but not clear if I need it due to timing of other jabs.
I have secondary children who really don’t care. They will get it and therefore so will I. I don’t think anyone will not get Covid eventually. I just can’t reframe my thinking. I managed to in the early days of this but now, with household members of those with Covid not having to isolate etc, it’s not possible to avoid.
I’m too scared to have an antibody test in case I have none at all.
I really don’t know why I’m so negative about this. But I can’t see any hope

Have your children been vaccinated? Do they wear masks at school? They can certainly do something to reduce the risk to you.

Soon it looks like younger secondary children will be offered the vaccine too, so hopefully it may reduce the spread in school.

I'm a decent age grouper. I was really ill for 2 weeks in December with Covid and yes, it did take about a month to get back to proper training and a few more weeks to get back to where I was, but I've have a lifetime PB this summer.

My DH has an auto immune disease as well.

The teenage DC brought it home, I caught it but he didn't succumb!!

Can you afford a session with a sports psychologist? You need to be focused on what you can control (diet to keep healthy, preventing injury, wearing a mask, social distancing) and trying to put what you can’t control to one side. But that’s easy for me to say, not so easy to do, so go gently on yourself, it’s a tough time

I understand why you're scared.

The way I cope with worry is I work what I'll do if worst case does happen. This might not work for you, but it gives me a sense of control.

Thank you for all the replies.
@DayDate I am glad to hear you recovered well. Same happened to a friend of mine who needed 3 months off in 2020 - he’s setting lifetime bests now.

@PostmanSplat

@lannistunut that’s how I normally work. I think it helped me come to terms with getting Covid in the short term but not the long term potential implications. Having said that if I take time to recover then I can’t help that.

@illuyankas two of my three are eligible for vaccination but I can’t book it. They have to go to a special clinic. And they haven’t been called. They wear masks on the bus and in school corridors only. Mine won’t do anything above and beyond that.

@postmansplat that’s a very good idea to see a sports psychologist. I’ve had these type of fears before - whenever I achieve something and invest a lot of time in it, I can see it being ripped away from me in circumstances I can’t control.

As someone that trains 6xweek and has worked very hard at my fitness I complete get where you're coming from. But there has always been the risk that we're going to catch something that will make us ill and stop us from training and even put our fitness back.

I got something Christmas 2019 (I have my suspicions but obviously covid wasn't a known thing then). I was completely bedbound for a few days and then once I could get up and about again my fitness was shot. I went from being able to run marathons and do back to back high intensity classes to needing to rest every few minutes. From a 30min 5k to 50min 5k.
But the good news is that although it took a good 3months my fitness did return and I'm now stronger than ever. I'm now running 26:30 5k and able to do as.much if not more than I could.before.
All I can say is that if you do get covid (or anything else as.bad, because other illnesses do exist), listen to your body during the recovery period. If you have a fitness watch set it to alarm if your heart rate goes up too high, for a few.months my PT had me get.mine to alert if it went over 160 and then steadily let it get higher as I recovered, we don't worry about it going as high as it wants now.

I’m too scared to have an antibody test in case I have none at all.

Having no antibodies wouldn’t mean no immunity though.

I feel the same, it’s when not if.
I think as my kids schools at least 1 in 30 have Covid and that’s without the worry of siblings still coming in and being hung it in. That’s 1/30 who have symptoms of Covid too.
I’m 38 1/2 weeks pregnant I’m super scared about having Covid for the birth. I try to protect my self wear a mask and keep my distance but people don’t keep there’s and don’t need to now. I can’t stop someone getting close to me. A friend actually said to someone I’m a shop can they keep their distance and they attacked them!!!
Everyone will catch it. My heart is with cev people. Even with the jabs it’s going to make no difference. For parents and teacher carers it’s a matter of when. Esp if you have a few kids. Most people are not testing when thei kids has a cough and temp either just saying it’s a cold.

You can only be responsible for your own well-being.

Get some decent filter masks (N98) masks and make sure they fit well. Use these whenever you might breathe in someone else's exhaled air. So every enclosed space really. This reduces your chances of getting covid.

You can also get antiviral spray that kills virus entering through the nose.
If I'm in a busy indoor area I swap to breathing through my nose to benefit from this extra line of defence.

I'm CEV so keen to be able to go out again but at the same time my vaccine efficiency is now reducing. I'm taking measures to stay as safe as possible.

I got the antibody test. It's important so at the very least you can explain to your children they need to be careful when they are outside the house.

If they bring covid home from school the n95 masks worn from their room to the bathroom will help reduce your risk at home too. Even if it just reduces your initial viral load, this will help greatly.

As others have said it's looking like the secondary school children will be mass vaccinated very soon. This too will reduce your risk.

@beautifullymad I have 3 kids with autism they are not going to wear masks all day and at home (they are young too). I can’t protect them
At school. School is actually my biggest worry. They all sing in a hall, have lunch together, having mixed film nights etc. School seems to be the biggest risk.
I can’t go no where near them 🤦🏼‍♀️. It’s a matter of time that they catch it in school.

I feel protecting us as a family has gone and I feel powerless to protect my self and just pray I’m not one them pregnancy stattistics that ended up icu (it would be my fault as I have a underlying condition) so that’s ok. People don’t social distance from me even when I have a mask and clearly pregnant but even family seem to think being pregnant isn’t a risk

[quote Tinydancer321]@beautifullymad I have 3 kids with autism they are not going to wear masks all day and at home (they are young too). I can’t protect them
At school. School is actually my biggest worry. They all sing in a hall, have lunch together, having mixed film nights etc. School seems to be the biggest risk.
I can’t go no where near them 🤦🏼‍♀️. It’s a matter of time that they catch it in school.[/quote]

Hopefully the OP can take steps at home to minimise their contact should covid enter the house but I appreciate it's not the same for everyone with secondary aged children.

Can l just say l work in a very large supermarket, l have worked literally every day through the pandemic, l have stayed fit and healthy throughout, as have most of my colleagues. Only 2 l know who tested positive and that's because they caught it from family members. I barely give it a second thought now, and neither of my two teenage sons have come down with it either.That's not to say we won't at some point, but why waste today worrying what may or may not happen timorrow ?
I read so many very negative posts about covid on here in a daily basis, l don't find that same negatively in real life. In fact l find the opposite. I think you need to stop reading the covid posts on here, stop watching the news, it will do absolute wonders for your mental health.

Actually laughing at the first poster who things so long as you follow protocols Covid won’t get you… it’s not a person. It doesn’t care if you’re careful or follow government guidelines ffs. Unless you’re willing to shut yourself away in your home and never come out again you’re going to end up getting it

@Moonface123 that’s very lucky. As at school so far after 5 days about 1 in each class has tested positive. 😬

@Moonface123

Can l just say l work in a very large supermarket, l have worked literally every day through the pandemic, l have stayed fit and healthy throughout, as have most of my colleagues. Only 2 l know who tested positive and that's because they caught it from family members. I barely give it a second thought now, and neither of my two teenage sons have come down with it either.That's not to say we won't at some point, but why waste today worrying what may or may not happen timorrow ? I read so many very negative posts about covid on here in a daily basis, l don't find that same negatively in real life. In fact l find the opposite. I think you need to stop reading the covid posts on here, stop watching the news, it will do absolute wonders for your mental health.

Are you clinically vulnerable?

I wonder if you’re angry that your kids don’t care. Is that true?

I have secondary children who really don’t care. They will get it and therefore so will I.

Not necessarily! I have friends whose kids have tested positive and they haven't caught it. One was in a car with her daughter for a 45 minute trip to the test centre and back and still didn't get it (had PCR after daughter tested positive).

Several have looked after the kids throughout ten days of isolation and not picked it up. They masked up, kept windows open, washed hands a lot, cleaned bathroom door handles etc. Did their own tests and were fine.

It's not a certainty by any means.