Overly nervous or right to be worried?

[2beesornot2beesthatisthehoney]

I am CEV and all last year, the whole household shielded . Me , husband and adult daughter . All of us are now double vac. Daughter returned to cafe job a few months ago. I am recovering from surgery last week.

Daughter announced to me that she was going to an open mic event next week at busy city centre pub ( something she use to do a lot before Covid) No outdoor space . Her reasoning , we are all jabbed and I have had my surgery.

I am worried about the delta variant and it’s seemingly impact on double vac people . My son had it several weeks after second jab and was ill for about 3 weeks at home.

Whilst I know there is a risk from the cafe working , the pub to me seems a step too far . I don’t think ventilation will be as good and it will be much more crowded. I am worried

WWYD in my shoes?
Thanks

@Peteycat You are the one who is being silly! I have 2 DC who are young adults and regularly hear from them about what their friends are doing, so yes I certainly have some idea what life is like for young people at present! The friends who haven't gone straight off to university are almost all in work, and I can think of several who have recently moved out of the parental home despite staying local, presumably because they were ready for a bit more independence. Perfectly doable with a house share! The OP has specifically said that her DD has a job. The OP has also mentioned that she lives in a large house, so it's not unreasonable to think she might be able to give her DD a bit of financial help.

I find it rather ironic that you accuse me of providing silly advice, rather than the posters who are happy to assure the OP she will be fine because she is vaccinated when the OP has said she is CEV and provided no details of why!

Tje other posters are saying that the poor girl needs to get on with her life. I'm in full agreement. That's not silly advice. This girl should not put her life on hold for her mother. She's done her bit.

Just because you apparently know some young people who have moved out doesn't mean you should be advising the op to suggest that her daughter moves out! I'm glad that the younger ones you know are all doing well, but unfortunately that's not the case for all of them right now.

There's nothing at all ironic about it.

But OP, COVID is here to stay for who knows how long and for who knows what new variants. You and she could hide away for ever, but then what would be the point of you all getting jabbed?

It’s like getting on a plane to go on holiday (in normal times!). You know there’s a a tiny chance the plane will crash in a freak accident but rationality tells you that statistically the risk is very small, a plane has many safety features, the pilots are highly trained and experienced professionals etc etc. We weigh it all up without even thinking about it, and we get on a plane because we’re going to have a lovely time the other end.

There are risks to lots of things in life. We do what we can to mitigate the risk, and we go and live our lives to the fullest we can, otherwise we’re only leading a half life, aren’t we?

It's a really tough situation. Distancing from you for a while after attending this crowded event could be a could idea - open windows at home more, try not to share a car unnecessarily, open car windows. My adult DC takes LFTs quite often, especially after being in any risky setting like the open mic night your daughter is going to. That gives a better chance of discovering early on that they are contagious and need to isolate from you more properly. In fact our whole family take LFTs fairly often these days, whenever we have minor cold symptoms or have been somewhere higher risk. Your DH could do LFTs too if you are extra worried, in case of the scenario where your DD gives him Covid and then he gives it to you.

I’d pretty much risk anything and everything for my DC to live their best lives.
Ask them to live a half life of all work and no okay. Absolutely not.

*no play

I am CEV and the open mic night would be an unnecessary risk given how high cases are right now but then im having chemotherapy so having to be ultra careful.

It's all very well saying people need to get on with their life's but I also need to protect mine. I'm a nurse, I worked throughout the lockdowns, I had covid last year, I'm double jabbed but being CEV makes you feel very differently about it.

I do think you probably need a more general agreement moving forward about how things like this are going to work, so you can come up with something you are all comfortable with. I have two primary aged DC's and it's a compromise. Parks and uncrowded outdoors fine, soft plays, theatres are a no. I have not touched my DC's or sat in the same room as them for two weeks as they have been out and about having fun. Returning to school will be a challenge.

Would it be possible for her to wear a well-fitting FFP2/3 mask just for the event? They do seem to offer significant protection. But I understand she might not want to wear one.

She needs to be allowed to live her life.... when I was a young adult and still living with my parents, I remember getting a nasty cold and isolating and mask wearing around the home to protect my mum who was having chemo at the time. Surely as a adult she can do this if you're still concerned.

I understand your concern, OP. It's very difficult for CEV people right now. So much uncertainty about the extent to which the vaccines will protect vulnerable people. You are not unreasonable to want to be careful while cases are so high.

However, your dd cannot put her life on hold forever either. After shielding for an extended period, she is now double jabbed and wants to get on with life. Perfectly understandable. If she could move out and live somewhere else for the time being, that might be the best solution for both of you?