Everyone moving on - Living with someone extremely clinically vulnerable - what do we do now?

[youaintseenbadboyz2]

First of all for anyone who has been sick or lost someone over the past 18 months then I am so sorry and I know I have it better than many people but I am struggling to work out what on earth to do.

Reading the threads here, watching and reading news coverage etc and I think this may possibly be the toughest phase of the pandemic so far. DH is extremely clinically vulnerable and has a 50/50 chance of having mounted an immune response to the vaccine. We have a wonderful teenage DD and both work. So we don’t fit the ‘it’s only the elderly that are really vulnerable’ mould. Meaning that as the world moves on around us and without exception everyone we know has gone full steam back to life as normal, this feels really lonely.

I want my DD to live a full and active life and fortunately she enjoys outdoor sports but meeting up at friends houses is tough, I feel like a crazy person asking if people have done lots of indoor activities and have no right to ask others to limit anything they do for us. But it’s like the whole world has just got bored of it and assume it’s all over, whilst we are constantly walking a tightrope of risk vs giving our DD a full life. She is amazing and doesn’t complain, is super sensible and been a rock through all of this. But it makes me sad thinking she shouldn’t have to be. So this constant risk analysis is just exhausting.

Not sure anyone can help here but the advise is now so vague and confusing that I have no idea what is truly risky, what isn’t and would love to feel just a bit less lonely with this

[quote SandysMam]@Bobholll I completely agree with your mum. Not taking stupid risks but finding a way to accept that if your time is up, your time is up, and living life the best life you can within sensible reason. Hand your fate over to a higher power and it is very liberating!

I am ECV and Covid was no more than a bad cold for me although I was terrified and I do understand how scary it is.
If your daughter is going to be at school this winter, then the risk of her catching Covid will be there. Make sure she does regular lateral flows and have an isolation plan for her if she catches it. Can you move to a house with more space or a separate floor for her if you don’t live that way already? So if she catches it you can all isolate and stop your husband catching it from her (which isn’t a given).

I hope my blasé attitude to life isn’t offensive, but your daughter deserves to grow up without that weight on her shoulders and Covid isn’t necessarily a death sentence, even in ECV.[/quote]
You are right that people will have a different view on their mortality but he’s a forty something man with a daughter who adores him, so he’s rather not go yet. Yes it’s true that none of us know when our time is up but there’s the added burden for children of ECV to think ‘was it something I did?’ The answer is of course not!!!!! But we all know that’s easy to say but not easy to live with. This is so much more complex than I think we give it credit for, which I guess is what I’ve struggled with, the coverage is so polarised it’s terrible or it’s over! Where as the reality is so much more complicated

I'm 36 and CEV. Still WFH, work has had too many cases for me to go back yet and my area is still high cases
I wear an FFP2 mask and go out but only to the supermarket or shops, I haven't been anywhere else yet

@DinosaurDiana I've also checked with the GP that my teenager should be called but we haven't heard anything yet. Things were a bit disjointed when it came to my classification at times and getting anyone to confirm things was really difficult.

[quote PastMyBestBeforeDate]@DinosaurDiana I've also checked with the GP that my teenager should be called but we haven't heard anything yet. Things were a bit disjointed when it came to my classification at times and getting anyone to confirm things was really difficult.[/quote]
Is your teen under a consultant ?
One of the kids I know about was notified by his consultant.

‘Like’ your GP surgery on Facebook as you might see them advertise drop-ins there.

It's me that's the at risk person so no they aren't and I do follow the practice. It's all very frustrating.

My dd is doing LFTs before meeting up with friends as one of them has a parent who is ECV. I think it's fine to ask others to do this.

I think the biggest issue is when school returns. There won't be any bubbles or isolations when someone tests positive it's just that child who stays home. I'm not even sure if they'll be wearing masks.

I would try and get your dd vaccinated ASAP. They have started doing 12-15yrs vaccinations for those living with someone who is ECV in my area.

I really think an antibody test would be worthwhile. You will then know whether he had any response or not and can move on accordingly.

I am CEV and take immunosuppressive drugs. In 2020 I volunteered for any research I could find and two of the projects (Virus Watch and Covidence) have been doing antibody tests to check response to vaccine. I tested negative at 6 weeks after my first dose, but have tested positive after my second dose and since then. I don't know how many ABs I had but I'm told it's not all about ABs. They are now testing for T cells but I'm not on that part.
One thing they told me (you get very little feedback) was that they recommended a booster of a different vaccine if you have a poor response to two doses. So Pfizer if you had AZ and AZ if you had Pfizer.

Also worth reading up on immune response. I find this person really helpful. She is a virologist who worked on Moderna. Her explanation twitter.com/sailorrooscout/status/1373620970607546371

Knowing that I have ABs has enabled me to trust that the vaccine will stop me from dying even if I still get covid and I no longer live in fear.

I did an antibody test via Lloyds Pharmacy. 2 months after my second vaccine.

The test cost £50 and involved pricking my own finger and squeezing drops of blood into a little tube, which was, er, interesting! The result came back quickly (the day after posting, I think). They gave me a figure for the level of antibodies, but no one seems to know what's 'good' (beyond the extremes).

Of course antibodies aren't the whole story: T and B cells play an important part and you don't get a result for them.

I plan to test again after 6 months to see if or how my levels have changed.

When I did it they offered tests for S antibodies - against the spike protein, showing either vaccination or having had Covid or a test for N antibodies - against the virus, showing having had Covid. As far as I can see they now just offer a test 'for antibodies'. Possibly once you've logged in you get more information.

There are specific vaccine antibody tests. That's what I did after advice from FizziWater.