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Covid

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Original poster

Has your DH/DP's attitude to Covid changed how you feel about them?

23 replies

NormaSnorks · 23/07/2021 14:49

I have been disappointed in the way DH has responded over the last 18 months:

broke lockdown many times for spurious reasons
lack of hygiene factors (coughing/sneezing) and angry when I pointed out
never bothered to properly understand the 'rules' but argued he was 'right' about things til he was blue in the face (and never admitted he might have been wrong)
never contributed to the 'covid effort' in the early days e.g. organising masks, online deliveries, cleaning/ hand santiser etc
pretty sure he's lied about doing lateral flow tests "it was negative. I can't show you 'cos it's at the bottom of the bin now."
barely concealed his irritation at being asked to isolate/keep apart in the house when DS tested positive.

I can honestly say I've changed my opinion of him. I think he's been a knob throughout all this .

OP posts:

Orangesandlemons77 · 23/07/2021 17:33

Well to be honest you sound quite controlling and OTT.

Maybe you could ask him if it has changed his view of you...

WeHaveComeSoFar · 23/07/2021 17:34

Absolutely not.

WeHaveComeSoFar · 23/07/2021 17:34

@Orangesandlemons77

Well to be honest you sound quite controlling and OTT.

Maybe you could ask him if it has changed his view of you...

This.

littlepeas · 23/07/2021 17:45

You sound annoying OP, sorry. I don’t blame him for not wanting to isolate from your ds - there’s no way this would happen in our house.

ilovesooty · 23/07/2021 17:50

Tbh I'd think he'd behaved like a knob as well.

bumblingbovine49 · 23/07/2021 17:56

Of course he's a knob. A couple of those behaviours, fine, we are all human and very few people followed all the rules and guidance perfectly, but if he was doing all of those things and constantly rubbishing every request for caution , he is definitely an arsehole

UnChatNoir · 23/07/2021 18:27

pretty sure he's lied about doing lateral flow tests "it was negative. I can't show you 'cos it's at the bottom of the bin now

Did you demand to see his test or something then? Weird behaviour …

girlmom21 · 23/07/2021 18:31

DH and I have very similar views. Occasionally we might have differences of opinion on how strictly to follow the rules but I think if you've been with someone for a while you know how they'd approach certain situations anyway.

Id be very surprised if there aren't other things you have completely opposing views on.

MichelleScarn · 23/07/2021 18:31

lack of hygiene factors (coughing/sneezing) and angry when I pointed out
So did you have a go for actually coughing/sneezing, or what he did when he did?

Howcanthisbe123 · 23/07/2021 18:38

Nothing wrong with people having different opinions or views to you.....or do you prefer it when everyone thinks the way you deem acceptable?

HugeAckmansWife · 23/07/2021 18:43

I'm more the DH in this scenario - less scrupulous that DP has been. We don't cohabit so it hasn't been to much of an issue but we've agreed just to not really discuss it as he is much more of a "but that's the rule" whilst I am more " I'm not going to worry about it being 7 at a gathering rather 6" and we've come close to some fairly large arguments about being "pedantic and petty" vs "a bit blase" . Its given me pause for thought but I think the non cohabiting (with no plans to) helps - we can accomodate some differences reasonably easily.

Taswama · 23/07/2021 18:51

Luckily DP and I have been mostly on the same page throughout this. Occasionally one or the other of us has been a little bit more or less worried about specific risks but then has done some research e.g. on whether you can catch it from some litter and then adjusted our views.

MichelleScarn · 23/07/2021 18:55

How old is your ds? Have heard some parents who properly isolated their child so not human contact at all for them for the whole time, child ate and did everything on their own in their room, food etc left outside their door, had to get permission to leave it to use bathroom.

Original poster

NormaSnorks · 23/07/2021 19:54

Yes, I can see that my first post seems OTT with the list, but honestly, I don't believe I have been. I'm not an obsessive clean freak but have just being doing my best to keep us all safe.

It's just basic stuff like him sneezing and coughing without covering his nose/mouth and tutting when I ask him not to. And arguing the toss when I told him sneezing/ runny nose was a symptom of the new delta variant and saying it "wasn't proven" etc
DS is 18 and very happy to be holed up in his room, but DH was trying to persuade him to come and watch a movie with him downstairs, next to him in a small TV room.
We really need for DH not to catch covid as he is due to drive 400 miles next week to help other DS move into uni accommodation (but even then DH said 'well, I'll just go anyway, and not talk to anyone . . .)

OP posts:

girlmom21 · 23/07/2021 20:02

basic stuff like him sneezing and coughing without covering his nose/mouth

That's just gross regardless of Covid. My 2 year old covers her mouth and nose when she sneezes or coughs

Shelovesamystery · 24/07/2021 11:02

If there is one thing that I have been thankful for throughout all of this it's that DH and I are on the same page about following restrictions and how much of a threat covid is. I think we would be getting a divorce by now if he had been a STFAH, shopping washing, covid nazi. I just couldn't live with someone like that.

TheVampiresWife · 24/07/2021 11:10

@Orangesandlemons77

Well to be honest you sound quite controlling and OTT.

Maybe you could ask him if it has changed his view of you...

Yep.

ilovesooty · 24/07/2021 11:40

Anyone who's read the OP's updates and still doesn't think this man is an irresponsible prick is beyond my comprehension.

chaosrabbitland · 24/07/2021 11:59

nope i havent fussed about with all the shit on your list of must do,s either , i couldnt stand to have someone nagging away at me about it , and as for the lateral flow tests , i have never done one ever , unless you have to test for work they arent a neccessity . god no wonder hes possibly lying about the damn things if hes being forced into doing them

TheVampiresWife · 24/07/2021 12:22

@ilovesooty

Anyone who's read the OP's updates and still doesn't think this man is an irresponsible prick is beyond my comprehension.

I think asking to see his LFT and micromanaging him in the way the OP does is far more concerning, tbh.

If she wants to 'contribute to the covid effort' to whatever standard she likes, that's up to her. It doesn't mean that everyone in her house has to have the same level of commitment to it. My DH can't wash or sanitise his hands as regularly as I do as he has terrible eczema on his hands, but even if he didn't it's not my place to have a go. He doesn't watch/read the news about covid, either (he didn't even know there was a Delta variant, or that restrictions ended last week). Not everyone is obsessed with every twist and turn in the pandemic.

The covid judges on MN also extend their judgement to their own households, it would seem.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 24/07/2021 12:29

Suggesting he helps your DS move into uni accommodation WITH Covid is horrendous.

ilovesooty · 24/07/2021 21:49

@BigSandyBalls2015

Suggesting he helps your DS move into uni accommodation WITH Covid is horrendous.

I agree.

Pootle40 · 24/07/2021 21:54

No. Me and DH been relaxed about it the whole way through and can see through the scaremongering

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