Cancel / lose the money

[weddread]

Booked (and paid for) a big traditional wedding pre Covid. Was for Dec 2020, postponed to this December.

Feeling so much dread about whether it will go ahead. Even if it's 30 people I'd be thrilled.

I just want to cancel the whole thing and get married in a registry office this summer but a) I can't find any availability and b) we'd lose all our money.

It's a lot money to lose - which we were happy to pay when we thought we'd be getting a wedding but now I feel locked in and they have no availability to bring it forward to the summer.

I just want to be married and get rid of all this anxiety. WWYD? please advise me!

I dont think any one can advise you, there have been so many twists and turns in this pandemic, nobody can say at the moment what the state of play will be like in few weeks let alone December,

It would be awful to lose the money. Would you be able to postpone it again if needed?

@SonnetForSpring we don't really want to! I'd rather have something really small or whatever we can than postpone again. Just want to be married now and not having it hang over us.

We thought postponing by a year was enough, so who knows when it will actually be a safe bet! Gutting though. Feel awful as my parents gave us some of the money too :(

Could you do a very small register office wedding now and use the December event as a belated bigger celebration?

So sorry you're in this position.

@Amboseli I've been looking to see what dates we can get.

Without being too outing, my parents live abroad so its an added complication but ideally I'd love them there to share the day!

@Amboseli

Could you do a very small register office wedding now and use the December event as a belated bigger celebration?

So sorry you're in this position.

I’d be tempted to do this in your position. Is this an option?

@RafaIsTheKingOfClay do you mean push December and what we've paid to a few years down the line? Could be an option!

[quote weddread]@RafaIsTheKingOfClay do you mean push December and what we've paid to a few years down the line? Could be an option![/quote]
Good idea.

@SonnetForSpring we might have to :( do you think it will be full lockdown now?

Wish we'd got engaged a few months later (never thought I'd say that ) so we'd know Covid was a thing!

Yes. Get your small wedding in the registry office when you can and then have the reception in Dec if it allows. Then if it has to be cancelled you can either postpone it or decide to cancel it completely nearer the time.

If all your guests are MNers though they will probably hate the idea of being invited to the reception but not the wedding. Expect an AIBU thread

Amboseli’s suggestion does seem to be the best way forward for you.

I suppose you could always add in a blessing in Dec if you were going for the big traditional wedding originally.

IDK what you should do but good luck!

We might just hang tight for now. There's a chance if it's a lockdown we could be entitled to a refund (upon re reading the contract) but it does risk getting to the end of the year and not being married :(

If it helps I'm doing a wedding to my US fiance this summer in the US, and having some friends round for a BBQ to celebrate as my family can't get here with the travel bans, then planning receptions for next year.. far from ideal but a way round it

Could you book the registry office for December too so if your big wedding is cancelled you could have the small wedding then? And if the big wedding can go ahead you can cancel the registry office

@Icannever if we can't do big, we could still use the church to get married. Even if we were allowed something small say 15 people I'd be so thrilled!!

Have you actually asked the venue if they would refund you if you cancelled, explain to them that you doubt your parents could attend and that the pressure of the wedding is getting you down. They may be sympathetic. If not ask them what your options are, maybe they would let you scale it down and reduce the cost.