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Original poster

Separated parents and positive test

23 replies

Nunny9 · 11/07/2021 12:39

Ok so I have 7 children! 4 have spent the weekend with me as they usually do every other week. We squeeze into my 2 bed flat. This morning my ex tells me my eldest daughter who is with her and my two older boys in a 6 bed house has tested positive for C19.

No one else has tested positive.

I think that because of the practicalities - the 4 youngest with me (7/9/11/13) have no outside space here or really any indoor space to speak of and the fact that it would be impossible for me to work (from home) with them here they should go back.

I think the risk to them is extremely low and they would be more affected by being cooped up in a small flat.

I’d appreciate views..... thanks

OP posts:
Mindymomo · 11/07/2021 12:47

As the children with would have have been in contact with eldest daughter 48 hours prior to her testing positive and maybe yourself, then you all have to isolate. Where they isolate is up to you and your ex to decide, it is ok to swap isolation place in your circumstance, but obviously there is a risk for your children that are with you to be around sister.

WallaceinAnderland · 11/07/2021 12:47

Who is suggesting they should not go back after the weekend?

Girlmama3 · 11/07/2021 12:47

When did they arrive to your flat? It's quite possible the 4 with you will have to self isolate for 10 days anyway so will have to stay with you.

I'm sure your boss will understand.

Original poster
Nunny9 · 11/07/2021 12:51

Hi all. They arrived with me evening on Friday and are due back at 6pm today.

OP posts:
Nootkah · 11/07/2021 12:54

I think for the purposes of isolation, the homes of both of you can be considered interchangeably. It is likely those with you will also be positive as they will have been exposed before the weekend.

A flat with ni garden is a hard placw for young children to isolate. If they must be kept apart, perhaps the three oldest could come to you and the four youngest go back to the house with garden?

WallaceinAnderland · 11/07/2021 12:55

If they are not even with you yet then they shouldn't come. Who is saying they should and why?

Original poster
Nunny9 · 11/07/2021 13:02

They 4 youngest are with me currently and have been since 6pm Friday, my eldest (19) is at the family home and tested positive this morning (Sunday)

OP posts:
Wellbythebloodyhell · 11/07/2021 13:12

Have they had contact with their elder sister 48hrs before her symptoms started/positive result meaning they need to isolate anyway or can they stay with you and go to school and out and about as normal? If they haven't seen the sister then I think they should stay with you and go to school etc as normal

Original poster
Nunny9 · 11/07/2021 13:19

They had contact with their sister who tested positive up to 6pm on Friday

OP posts:
cls123 · 11/07/2021 13:26

definitely go back to mums for all of your sanity!!! --- 3 out of 4 of the kids are of an age where they are highly unlikely to be offered a vaccine in the near future, so if they get it now it may be in their best interests as it's only going to hit you further down the line anyway! we are isolating at the mo and def not expecting my positive child to stay separate from the youngest .

Original poster
Nunny9 · 11/07/2021 14:25

Appreciate any more views?

OP posts:
TheOrangeSharked · 11/07/2021 14:28

If they are going to have to isolate regardless then their mums is better than a 2 bed flat with no garden and 4 dc!

MRex · 11/07/2021 14:29

Legally it's up to you and your ex to decide. A small flat would be very tough for isolating for 10 days with 4 of them. I'd probably keep them a few days and do a PCR test; if they're positive then they may as well be in the big house but otherwise maybe they won't catch it. You might have to just take a bit of time off work, order games to play etc.

RuleWithAWoodenFoot · 11/07/2021 14:33

Yep, I'd send them back. If an older sibling in the other house has tested positive today, and they were all with that sibling on Friday, then it makes them a close contact anyway.

We had a similar split situation with my child - she was already at her grandparents when the isolation email arrived - so we collected her and kept her here until she had a negative PCR, but then treated the houses interchangably because they have loads more space/a garden than we do at the moment.

WallaceinAnderland · 11/07/2021 14:41

It's up to you as parents to decide between you.

Girlmama3 · 11/07/2021 15:58

What does the mum want? I'm guessing for them to stay with you.

What happens if the positive child is quite ill or the mum gets it? What support will she have with seven children?

I think you keep them for the first week at least and see how it goes.

Original poster
Nunny9 · 11/07/2021 16:23

I guess my thinking is:

  1. The children with me were exposed to their older sister in the family home about 36 hours before she tested positive
  2. The children would be better served isolating in a large house with a garden rather than a flat with no outside space
  3. Although if they go back they are exposed to a positive case the risk to youngsters is incredibly low
  4. The Mum has been double jabbed so again unlikely to get bad symptoms. If she does I can step in.
  5. Unlikely I guess young kids will ever be vaccinated so therefore clearly classed as the lowest risk category.

I'm trying to be pragmatic and proportionate and not knee jerk and over the top.

OP posts:
Revengeofthepangolins · 11/07/2021 19:21

I vote for back. You don’t need to isolate as haven’t had contact in the last 48 hrs with the positive children, so make a I sense for you to miss work. Your wife will have to be at home with the sick children anyway.

SuperCaliFragalistic · 12/07/2021 06:34

I would use the houses interchangeably. Let them go back to their mums as planned but continue with normal contact. If mum has to isolate as a close contact you could be of some help to them all by picking up shopping and prescriptions etc.

Porcupineintherough · 12/07/2021 07:50

What does your ex think? I think you should go with what she wants.

welshweasel · 12/07/2021 07:54

Mum and kids isolate in big house. You go to work as usual. You help them out with shopping etc. If mum gets unwell and can’t look after the children then you step in.

Auntycorruption · 12/07/2021 10:13

The flip side of this is your ex is going to be left with SEVEN isolating children while you are somewhat let off the hook. Presume if your younger children went back then you yourself wouldn't have to isolate? I can see why you are pushing this idea.

I would flip it round - bring the older ones to the flat where they can watch tv & play on phones. Send the younger ones back to the house where their toys and garden are.

Original poster
Nunny9 · 12/07/2021 11:18

@Auntycorruption

The flip side of this is your ex is going to be left with SEVEN isolating children while you are somewhat let off the hook. Presume if your younger children went back then you yourself wouldn't have to isolate? I can see why you are pushing this idea.

I would flip it round - bring the older ones to the flat where they can watch tv & play on phones. Send the younger ones back to the house where their toys and garden are.

Thanks, I'm really not trying to abrogate any responsibility I just don't want to coop the kids up when they have somewhere more suitable to isolate. I am awaiting test results so if I'm negative then I assume I can help out if required. Ex has a boyfriend who I assume is also isolating with them and my eldest is 19 and a half and second eldest 17 and a half so they will help out with younger ones.

I did think about the older ones in the flat but then they are cooped up as well. Its a difficult one I realise.

OP posts:
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