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Original poster

Not vaccinated but visiting elderly mum

19 replies

Elista · 10/07/2021 17:45

My sister has chosen not to get vaccinated (no medical reasons) and is currently staying the weekend with our 89-year-old mum.

Apparently this is fine and I am overreacting to question it. DM wants to see her but I think finds it hard to believe that her DD would not prioritise DM’s health. DM takes precautions at other times, eg not going to the local farmers’ market this morning as “lots don’t wear masks there”. There seems to be a bit of cognitive dissonance.

I live in a flat attached to DM’s and so am staying there and not engaging with DSis.

I’m finding this so stressful and confusing. It seems so irresponsible to me as cases increase.

OP posts:
XenoBitch · 10/07/2021 17:47

Having the vaccine or not is your sister's decision though, as is your DM choosing to see her.

Original poster
Elista · 10/07/2021 17:48

@XenoBitch

Having the vaccine or not is your sister's decision though, as is your DM choosing to see her.
Yes. I haven’t said otherwise.
OP posts:
Chocolatebuttercream · 10/07/2021 17:49

Well, I think she is being unreasonable, but for full disclosure I personally think anyone not getting the vaccine with no medical reason, is being unreasonable.

Is your mum vaccinated?

Frazzled2207 · 10/07/2021 17:49

Assuming your mother is aware and understands the risks I don’t think there is anything you can do

Original poster
Elista · 10/07/2021 17:51

Yes, with AZ some time ago, but it seems that the efficacy at her age and with the Delta may not be great.

OP posts:
MitzyMooo · 10/07/2021 17:54

@Elista

My sister has chosen not to get vaccinated (no medical reasons) and is currently staying the weekend with our 89-year-old mum.

Apparently this is fine and I am overreacting to question it. DM wants to see her but I think finds it hard to believe that her DD would not prioritise DM’s health. DM takes precautions at other times, eg not going to the local farmers’ market this morning as “lots don’t wear masks there”. There seems to be a bit of cognitive dissonance.

I live in a flat attached to DM’s and so am staying there and not engaging with DSis.

I’m finding this so stressful and confusing. It seems so irresponsible to me as cases increase.

I take it your mum has been vaccinated? Wind your neck in
Lollypop701 · 10/07/2021 17:57

I wouldn’t be happy either op.

aiwblam · 10/07/2021 17:59

Both are consenting adults so you’ll just have to let it happen. It is an odd choice though.

LIZS · 10/07/2021 17:59

Did she test before she went?

Original poster
Elista · 10/07/2021 18:02

@LIZS

Did she test before she went?
Just an LFT.
OP posts:
RoseRedRoseBlue · 10/07/2021 18:05

There is nothing you can do about this, so you have to let it go.

LIZS · 10/07/2021 18:34

I think LFT is as good as any precautions. We did similar visiting dm, dd was then not vaccinated and me a couple of weeks after second. As long as both were happy with arrangements there is not much can be said.

Original poster
Elista · 10/07/2021 18:43

@LIZS

I think LFT is as good as any precautions. We did similar visiting dm, dd was then not vaccinated and me a couple of weeks after second. As long as both were happy with arrangements there is not much can be said.
It’s certainly not as good as a vaccine or PCR.
OP posts:
XenoBitch · 10/07/2021 19:16

People are still catching and spreading Covid even when vaccinated. Your sister can take a test and know she does not have Covid. You are assuming you don't have it because you are vaccinated.

Dustyboots · 10/07/2021 19:19

Your mum is 89. She wants to see your sister before it’s too late. Sorry to be blunt but at 89 how many more years does she have left? Not enough to argue with your sister about her vaccine status.

AwakeNotAsleep · 10/07/2021 20:29

@Dustyboots

Your mum is 89. She wants to see your sister before it’s too late. Sorry to be blunt but at 89 how many more years does she have left? Not enough to argue with your sister about her vaccine status.
Totally agree with Dusty
StepladderToHeaven · 10/07/2021 20:35

I think your sister should have had the vaccine, but there's nothing you can do about. However, given she won't have it, I can understand your mum choosing to see your sister rather than not see her.

It's not like your example of the farmers market because (presumably) it's not much of a sacrifice to miss the farmers market. But she really wants to see your sister so she's prepared to take the risk - she has decided it's worth it. I think that's sensible risk assessment not cognitive dissonance.

LIZS · 10/07/2021 20:43

@Dustyboots

Your mum is 89. She wants to see your sister before it’s too late. Sorry to be blunt but at 89 how many more years does she have left? Not enough to argue with your sister about her vaccine status.
Exactly this. Up to you whether you choose to see dsis or not but outside, at a distance, is no more risky than anywhere else you go.
LilyPond2 · 10/07/2021 22:59

I agree with you, OP. Your sister is being very unreasonable in not getting vaccinated in those circumstances. I'm not surprised you are upset.

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