I am constantly swinging between “to hell with it, life must go on” & “short term pain, long term gain. Let’s keep safe for now”
I’m 31 and DP is 33, both double jabbed. We have a toddler together. We are both healthy.
I suffer quite bad health anxiety and have some deep routed trauma that led to this. One of the worst things that happened to me was being “accidentally” put on the shielding list. I already considered myself high risk.... because I have health anxiety, so that sent me over the edge. I was accidentally put on the shielding list because I am at high risk of developing a disease that runs in my family, but I don’t actually have it myself. It really didn’t help my mental health.
Anyway, I can’t help but feel scared I will leave my toddler motherless, or worse, something will happen to my child. I know, I know... kids are “low risk”, but I still worry.
So, I find myself with swinging feelings daily. Sometimes I’m willing to visit vaccine refusing relatives indoors, and other days I want to shield my family entirely.
I’m just venting I suppose. My thoughts are all over the place and I just want my old life back. I had my kid two weeks before the first ever lockdown and this isn’t the life I’d imagined.