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Original poster

I can't bloody believe this!!

26 replies

PoorFanjo · 07/07/2021 04:09

I'm due to go back to work tomorrow after having a second trimester loss a few months ago, it's been a really hard slog getting better as I got post partum psychosis afterwards but there were no beds so I've been treated at home and it's been so hard. Anyway! I'm meant to be doing a phased return today and fucking test and trace have texted and emailed me!

This is not the app, I went out to pick my husband up from the pub after the England match and saw some friends ive not seen for ages, I didn't drink as I couldn't but I was sat with them for about an hour having a laugh and I felt so bloody brilliant to not feel like a sick person.

One of those people has tested positive and I know it's them as they've posted on Facebook and they've obviously given our details but I just feel so sad that my decision to stay and have a chat has made it so that I can't return to work!!

Has anyone in the nhs been contacted by the office tracing service and been ok to return?

My boss is on a night shift and I'll be calling her this morning but I just feel so stupid. The ward is already short.

OP posts:
Lifeispassingby · 07/07/2021 04:39

This is the risk we all take right now- we are allowed to mix but the consequence of that if someone tests positive is isolation. When we move to no isolation for those fully vaccinated it will help some but not all. What bad timing for you! Xx

ChristmasCovid · 07/07/2021 05:43

Oh that’s really rubbish timing for you. If you are contacted by T&T it’s a legal requirement to isolate.
They will call you as well, you may be offered the chance to take part in the Daily testing study - that’s your only chance of being able to go to work instead of isolating - make sure you answer the call from them and if your eligible for the study - they transfer you to get you signed up.

Mistyplanet · 07/07/2021 06:39

Its unfortunate but all you can do is be patient.

ShinyGreenElephant · 07/07/2021 06:41

So sorry for your loss. What awful timing,
I'm sure work will understand. Hope things start getting better for you

Imnothereforthedrama · 07/07/2021 07:31

I’m sorry you’ve had a bad time but unfortunately that is the risk we take . Either that or we never leave the house . At least in a few weeks if double vaccinated you won’t need to isolate until then it is what it is .

Original poster
PoorFanjo · 07/07/2021 07:33

I called, she wasn't happy. Told me I shouldn't have been socialising whilst off sick Hmm. I didn't plan this.

OP posts:
MsFrog · 07/07/2021 07:38

That's very unfair of her. You are getting over a devastating loss and a traumatic event, you are allowed to socialise and feel normal as part of your recovery. It's not the same as being ok to go to work, and your boss should recognise that. Can your occupational health department support you around this situation?

It's terrible timing for you, what an shame when you were just ready to go back and start getting back to normal after having such an awful time.

GreenCrayon · 07/07/2021 07:41

@PoorFanjo

I called, she wasn't happy. Told me I shouldn't have been socialising whilst off sick Hmm. I didn't plan this.
I'm so sorry for your loss what an utterly crap boss. She doesn't sound understanding at all.

You were not sick ffs there was absolutely no reason for you to be sitting in bed and shutting yourself in. In fact getting out and about is probably a million times more useful in helping you feel more normal. Being off on sick leave doesn't come with the expectation of hiding away indoors, I've known people go on holidays whilst off for similar circumstances and that was perfectly reasonable.

Oldtiredfedup · 07/07/2021 07:45

Your boss is being deeply unfair. I too would be asking for support from occupational health.

You did nothing wrong

MRex · 07/07/2021 07:46

I'm very sorry for your loss. Your boss is being unfair, seeing friends is important to your recovery. Let's be charitable and say she's worried about staffing and it was thoughtlessness due to stress. You should be back in on Wednesday next week if it was the England match? So only 3 shifts missed.

Sexnotgender · 07/07/2021 07:54

I’m guessing your body missed the module on compassion! That’s an appalling thing to say to someone grieving.

Sexnotgender · 07/07/2021 07:54

Boss not body 🙄

AnotherDayAnotherCake · 07/07/2021 08:04

I’m sorry for your loss OP. Echoing those saying you did nothing wrong. You can go on holiday while on sick leave if you want to, it’s none of her business. Having to isolate is unfortunate but it’s also part and parcel of this bloody situation we all find ourselves in.

Ignore her judgement and hold your head up when you do go back.

Alliseaisyou · 07/07/2021 08:10

That's ridiculous of your boss. Of course you can see friends if you're off sick. I'd imagine your own gp would say that seeing friends after what you've gone through would do you the world of good.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 07/07/2021 08:13

What a nasty reaction from your boss Shock. This isn’t your fault at all.

ComDummings · 07/07/2021 08:14

Your boss is a massive knob. Of course you can socialise while you’re off sick.

storminabuttercup · 07/07/2021 08:15

Wow. What a bitch your boss is! I'm so sorry for your loss. You've done nothing wrong. Forget all about what she's said and be kind to yourself

Oblomov21 · 07/07/2021 08:20

I actually disagree. You've been off for a long time and knew you were returning. We all do risk analysis for the decisions we make. Or should. Your return is a big thing.

If you planned to go to Wembley to watch football with 60k other fans, and travel on trains to get there, a one second risk analysis will tell you risks are quite high.

Same with you. You must have known, Or rather at least should've thought about it before, about the fact that when you made that choice to go out and socialise there is the risk that one person could be positive and you could therefore be asked to isolate.

GoWalkabout · 07/07/2021 08:20

Put in a complaint about her, that's awful. Of course you don't have to be a hermit when recovering from a loss and a mental health disorder, medical advice would be to go out and do things prior to coming back to work. Anyhow, the numbers of people self isolating are going to be skyrocketing over the next few weeks so its not in any way your fault and you are not alone. Would you ring her back and say that you feel what she said was unreasonable or would that be too difficult?

AvantGardening · 07/07/2021 08:21

You’ve done nothing wrong. Use the time you have to self isolate to contact occupational health and your union.

GoWalkabout · 07/07/2021 08:22

Oblomov, op explained that it was a spontaneous and enjoyable hour, not planned and we don't always think about or risk assess our every move, that would be no kind of life, nor would every move being judged with the benefit of hindsight be helpful.

Reallybadidea · 07/07/2021 08:27

If you planned to go to Wembley to watch football with 60k other fans, and travel on trains to get there, a one second risk analysis will tell you risks are quite high.

Oh come on, there's a massive difference between that and a bereaved mother meeting a small number of friends, following a period where getting support from them has been forbidden due to lockdown.

I'm really sorry OP. This is just a glitch and I really hope that when you are able to go back, that it goes smoothly and your boss is more supportive than their comments were today.

Thirtyrock39 · 07/07/2021 08:27

My nhs trust has made it clear we must self isolate- we are not to do the daily test scheme of it's offered . I'm not sure what will happen after august changes but I'm patient facing so work with vulnerable people . You'll only be able to go to work if you get accepted for the current study anyway or it's legally enforced ten days isolating

Thirtyrock39 · 07/07/2021 08:28

Sorry for your loss

Pavlova31 · 07/07/2021 08:39

Sorry for your loss Flowers
Your boss sounds awful .