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Original poster

Self isolating with two small children and work full time - how?!

27 replies

beammeupsc0tty · 30/06/2021 14:16

Wondering how others are coping in similar situation. My DH tested positive on Thursday last week and we have had to isolate for 10 days. He tested before symptoms because was in close contact with someone that tested positive and he isolated from the rest of us inside the house from that point so we've barely seen him (just video calls and talking through door). Problem is I have a full time job and I managed to agree some unpaid time off as there is no way I can work with a very active 18 month old. I am due back WFH tomorrow and hope was by then he'd be past the most contagious stage and would wear mask and have all windows open etc.

Unfortunately DH has had symptoms for a few days now ( started with low Grade fever, now gone but now is intermittently losing sense of smell and only now has lateral flow started showing him as positive). I don't really want him round kids but I kind of have no choice, this is such a nightmare! If I didn't have to work id just manage. We've both only had 1 Vax.

I really don't know what we will do if we have to keep on isolating too... How have others guy through this?

OP posts:
MsInsomniac · 30/06/2021 17:43

Take leave?

RuleWithAWoodenFoot · 30/06/2021 18:59

Take leave. My partner had to. I had a day compassionate, anything else will be unpaid because I don't have flexible leave.

Wellbythebloodyhell · 30/06/2021 19:07

Annual leave? Or Unpaid leave? which for some is doable as a one off some its never doable at all (it wouldn't be for me) other than that it's to break your isolation and ask family to help out with childcare if they are willing to take that risk or course.

Dave20 · 30/06/2021 19:30

I wondered about this too. How long can we keep isolating for? How long will employers allow it? What about self employed people who won’t get paid?
Realistically I can’t see it going on much longer.

Original poster
beammeupsc0tty · 30/06/2021 19:45

Problem is I already took some time off unpaid despite it being apparently 'unprecedented' in the company I work for. On one hand I just don't want to take the risk but on the other hand the pressure with work is making me feel I need to. Unless they make it mandatory for every employer to offer time off for looking after dependants when isolating a lot of employers that can afford to still won't do this off their own back.

The other issue is we have no family local (at least 8 hour drive away) so we can't call on their help (and I know we are not meant to anyway, not sure what Id do if I found myself with the option of doing it either)

OP posts:
Wellbythebloodyhell · 30/06/2021 19:55

You need to be up front with your managers, explain the situation, that you'll do the best you can given the circumstances but you can't guarantee your usual work level performance. They'll either accept half measures or ask you to take unpaid leave. They can not expect normal work levels given the current situation, and its only for a week or so not indefinitely.

Timeturnerplease · 30/06/2021 21:57

I think you can break isolation to have someone care for your child….I could be wrong though.

A friend of mine (teacher, lone parent) got caught in a bubble isolation, was teaching from home and parents of her class complained that they could hear her toddler playing in the background. She had to pay an elderly neighbour to care for him in the end.

I’m not condoning exposing anyone to covid, but I guess you have to do something to be able to pay the bills.

MilkCereal · 30/06/2021 21:59

I took unpaid leave/ special leave mixed. It's ok to be the first in the company but you have to do it.

Bobholll · 30/06/2021 22:31

It’s a nightmare OP. I have a 15 month old & 4 year old. There are multiple times I’ve had to keep them off nursery awaiting covid tests, they both love to get a cough 🙄 DD2 is fresh into nursery, picking everything up as they do and passing it to DD1. We’ve also had two lots of isolation, one bubble & once covid.

You cannot work with a child under 2 or maybe even 3 but certainly 2. My toddler is suicidal & when she’s not climbing on chairs, climbing the stair gate, eating her sisters crayons, pulling boxes of toys onto her head.. she’s demanding my full attention, bashing at my laptop or crying..

I’ve taken annual leave sometimes, unpaid leave a couple times and flexed my hours majorly, working until 1am, during naps. I luckily have a very sympathetic manager and I’m not the only one on my team facing these repeated interruptions to life. I’ve been really honest with them. I think it’s the best approach. But it’s hard, I feel horribly guilty & it causes so much stress trying to catch up.

That said, when I had covid, I didn’t isolate from my kids at all. Life continued as normal at home. We had all the cuddles & usual bed hopping! I wasn’t worried about them catching it at all really.. 🤷🏼‍♀️ DD2 did test positive but DD1 never did.

Itsprobablynotcominghome · 01/07/2021 06:25

Annual leave.

Scottishgirl85 · 01/07/2021 06:31

I had this situation for 3 months during the first lockdown (1 and 5 year old) and multiple times since due to isolations. Also had to homeschool! Absolute nightmare. Worked round the clock, especially when they slept at night, lots of TV etc. It was hideous but can be done.

whatswithtodaytoday · 01/07/2021 06:37

Take leave, offer to reduce hours if you can, explain the situation and say you'll do what you can. Get up early to work (easier at the moment as it's light) and work once your kids are in bed. Cbeebies.

If your DH isn't too ill I would suggest having him help out when he can, you're most likely all going to get it anyway.

I worked through the first lockdown with a 14 month old who had just started walking and wanted to climb everything. My working hours were 5am-midnight, but with constant interruption.
We were both wfh so managed it between us, but it was the hardest thing I've ever done. On the plus side, the odd day were have to isolate when said child gets ill and needs a Covid test feels easy peasy in comparison!

whatswithtodaytoday · 01/07/2021 06:38

Oh and for the youngest - a playpen.

Dozer · 01/07/2021 06:39

Annual leave.

whatswithtodaytoday · 01/07/2021 06:40

@Scottishgirl85

I had this situation for 3 months during the first lockdown (1 and 5 year old) and multiple times since due to isolations. Also had to homeschool! Absolute nightmare. Worked round the clock, especially when they slept at night, lots of TV etc. It was hideous but can be done.
Urrrgh you have my sympathy. I often thought I was so relieved I at least didn't have to homeschool, on top of doing my job and parenting a young toddler.

I'm not sure I've actually recovered properly yet.

BogRollBOGOF · 01/07/2021 14:19

Ill parents have to crack on with parenting unless they're completely floored and in bed.

It's all very well government ministers recommending isolating within a house while they delegate to the wife or nanny and carry on with their job (and shagging the aides...)

Covidwoes · 02/07/2021 06:44

Can't comment on the work situation as neither DH or I WFH, but we both had Covid at the same time, so couldn't isolate from our 2 year old DD. We did test her as she had a temp for a day, but it came back negative!

DinosaurDiana · 02/07/2021 06:48

He needs to look after the child while you work.
Plenty of mums have been left to get on with it in the past.

NerrSnerr · 02/07/2021 06:50

I understand why he's isolating in a different room but I don't think that's possible in this situation. He needs to be with the rest of the family doing childcare while you work.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 02/07/2021 06:50

Tell your boss you have covid and too sick to work- I wouldn’t keep using my leave for this crap!

joystir59 · 02/07/2021 06:52

Drive your kids over to your family and leave them there for the duration?

joystir59 · 02/07/2021 06:53

Realistically DH needs to look after the kids.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 02/07/2021 06:54

@joystir59

Drive your kids over to your family and leave them there for the duration?
Who wants someone else’s covid exposed children to look after ?!
Radio4ordie · 02/07/2021 06:56

Children are at low risk. I wouldn’t isolate from my children so I think your DH should be off sick. He should care for them in from of Disney if needs be, with help from you in whatever breaks you can find if he is feeling rough.

HalfShrunkMoreToGo · 02/07/2021 07:03

Talk to your manager and be realistic about it then see what they say.

When we all had to homeschool and WFH last year I had a call with my manager and just said 'look let's be honest, I'm trying to entertain/care for a 5 yr old, get them to do worksheets and projects school have emailed through and work at the same time. None of those things are going to be done well or to any kind of schedule. How do you want to work this?

We ended up agreeing that it would just have to be best endeavours and a bit of a strange working pattern where some days I might log on very early early and other days I might log off very late. We also agreed on the key priority jobs that needed to be done and the ones that could be left to slide or reallocated.