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Original poster

I am FURIOUS at DS father for not testing!!!

31 replies

november90 · 15/06/2021 17:56

Has anyone else had to deal with this?
Whilst our son was staying at his dads over the weekend he had a cough. His dad told me last night that it was really bad and he was coughing all night. I asked him to keep him off nursery today and get him tested but this didn't happen. I picked him up from nursery today and he has literally not stopped coughing since. I had my niece and nephew at my house for when he came home so now not only all of the children at nursery but also my family members have potentially been put at risk. My ex is a Covid denier and one of those that would never get tested because the government tell him to. I am so mad. I can't get him tested until tomorrow morning now so I'm going to be worried all night.

OP posts:
KylieKoKo · 15/06/2021 18:23

A lot of step mums have experienced differences in opinion on when to test with the mother of their their SC. It's really frustrating because it's a risk to your health that you have no control over. No advice but solidarity. It sucks but is a reality in families with separated parents.

VaccineSticker · 15/06/2021 18:35

No @KylieKoKo being separated/divorced does not mean one can start going against medical advice and putting the family, friends, and his whole nursery at risk.
He is a covidiot, stupid, and an irresponsible person.

Original poster
november90 · 15/06/2021 18:56

@KylieKoKo sorry I'm not sure what you mean, if they have symptoms they have symptoms and should be tested as traumatic and inconvenient as it is! Also as a mum I would absolutely hate to be in an environment where a step mum is over turning my decision for my children 🤷🏼‍♀️

I am just SO annoyed by this. Ds will struggle massively with the test and it'll very much be a pin down job, he lets me do all the rubbish all the time! I'm SO frustrated!!!!

OP posts:
PurpleyBlue · 15/06/2021 19:00

I have had similar problems in suggesting DSC gets tested but mum refusing it. DH is then put in a difficult position. It's very tough.

serenja · 15/06/2021 19:07

If he's been off already multiple times (which most children have at this point) then I can see the ex's point. We're not testing and staying off anymore either. Many people are starting to think the same... and many more will in the coming months. I'm not a covid denier, more of a vaccine approver. If my ex and his partner want to test them and take the required time off work that's their choice.

PurpleyBlue · 15/06/2021 19:10

@serenja

If he's been off already multiple times (which most children have at this point) then I can see the ex's point. We're not testing and staying off anymore either. Many people are starting to think the same... and many more will in the coming months. I'm not a covid denier, more of a vaccine approver. If my ex and his partner want to test them and take the required time off work that's their choice.
The nursery won't let him go in with a cough and no test though so the ex has just dumped the burden on OP.
strangeshapedpotato · 15/06/2021 19:14

@november90

Has anyone else had to deal with this? Whilst our son was staying at his dads over the weekend he had a cough. His dad told me last night that it was really bad and he was coughing all night. I asked him to keep him off nursery today and get him tested but this didn't happen. I picked him up from nursery today and he has literally not stopped coughing since. I had my niece and nephew at my house for when he came home so now not only all of the children at nursery but also my family members have potentially been put at risk. My ex is a Covid denier and one of those that would never get tested because the government tell him to. I am so mad. I can't get him tested until tomorrow morning now so I'm going to be worried all night.
Report him to social services and stop letting him have contact.
Original poster
november90 · 15/06/2021 19:17

@serenja I get that this is what we all want to do because we are all sick to death of this, but how could I put other people at risk like that?!!! I just couldn't! He only has 4 weeks left ar nursery before school, I want him in having fun as much as anyone but absolutely no way could I live with myself or feel like I could look the other parents in the eyes if I did this!

OP posts:
Moonshine11 · 15/06/2021 19:18

He should have got him tested yes.
But if it puts your mind at ease a little there is a nasty bit of croup going round. My LO currently has it.

ninebiscuits · 15/06/2021 19:21

Did the nursery ask for him to be collected? As if they thought there was an issue, they would've sent him home?

Yellow85 · 15/06/2021 19:21

On another note, why would the nursery not call you if he was coughing whilst there? Even if father refused, the nursery should be stepping up to protect the bubble surely.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 15/06/2021 19:29

@serenja

If he's been off already multiple times (which most children have at this point) then I can see the ex's point. We're not testing and staying off anymore either. Many people are starting to think the same... and many more will in the coming months. I'm not a covid denier, more of a vaccine approver. If my ex and his partner want to test them and take the required time off work that's their choice.
Thank you for helping to ensure full reopening takes even longer.
bookishtartlet · 15/06/2021 19:31

This has happened 3 times to me since August. So, so frustrating as I had to book and do the test and then wait it out until results come in. It makes me furious every single time.

AliciaWhiskers · 15/06/2021 19:40

Did nursery not send him home if he was coughing?

EverNapping · 15/06/2021 19:46

@serenja

If he's been off already multiple times (which most children have at this point) then I can see the ex's point. We're not testing and staying off anymore either. Many people are starting to think the same... and many more will in the coming months. I'm not a covid denier, more of a vaccine approver. If my ex and his partner want to test them and take the required time off work that's their choice.
You have now become part of the problem.

It's unacceptable to not test & isolate. It puts others lives ay risk and makes a full reopening further away. Same with make refuses and those idiots who still haven't worked out the nose goes inside the mask.

Slap in the face to health workers and everyone else who is doing their bit.

Original poster
november90 · 15/06/2021 20:13

Well he's got tonsillitis so I did tell nursery that he was a bit under the weather with it. He wasn't in long today as it's a short session so I don't blame them.
I blame his dad who new full well he should be tested. When I asked him if he's had his jab yet he said "no, you know what I'm like".... he works in a Children's home. How pathetic.

OP posts:
Original poster
november90 · 15/06/2021 20:15

@Moonshine11 thank you, I hope your LO is ok!
I'm 99.999999% sure he doesn't have Covid as he's got tonsillitis and it's under the weather, but I just don't know how you could send them to nursery like this!
He didn't want the hassle of the test and just left it to me. It'll be a pinned down job in testing him as he hates stuff like this... he knows this but hed just rather I do it!

OP posts:
NBFJ364N · 15/06/2021 20:17

yet you chose to bring him home to your nephew and niece? you knew he was coughing....knew the risks

but you went ahead anyway.....why??

Original poster
november90 · 15/06/2021 20:28

@NBFJ364N oh hello! Thanks for your input there. To answer your concerns, I live with my parents and having been out all day I didn't know they were at home when we came home to OUR home.
Also, seeing how DS was in nursery today I assumed his cough mustn't have been as bad as I maybe interpreted it to be, but having seen him this afternoon it has been a continuous, nasty cough and had I known this and had I been the parent this morning I would never have sent him and never allowed my neice and nephew to be at home.

Does that answer your question?

OP posts:
KylieKoKo · 15/06/2021 20:33

@november90 and @vaccinesticker I'm on your side believe me. I have had to isolate 4 times because dsds mum has told her to refuse tests and won't tell us she's sick so she comes over coughing. I was trying to show solidarity in that I know how frustrating it is to exposed to the virus by someone who willfully ignores the rules ...

Original poster
november90 · 15/06/2021 20:41

@KylieKoKo sorry for the reply earlier, I think it was your post wrong! And regarding my step parent comment too, I was looking at it from the opposite angle! I'm just soo frustrated with this this evening!

OP posts:
KylieKoKo · 15/06/2021 20:45

@november90 it's not the opposite angle. It's the same issue of other people not respecting the covid rules and then it impacting your home.

PurpleyBlue · 15/06/2021 20:45

[quote KylieKoKo]**@november90* and @vaccinesticker* I'm on your side believe me. I have had to isolate 4 times because dsds mum has told her to refuse tests and won't tell us she's sick so she comes over coughing. I was trying to show solidarity in that I know how frustrating it is to exposed to the virus by someone who willfully ignores the rules ...[/quote]
4 times! We had to do it once. And she dropped DSC off at the door and drove away very quickly. Not amused.

PurpleyBlue · 15/06/2021 20:46

Agreed @KylieKoKo it's the same problem.

Original poster
november90 · 15/06/2021 20:47

@KylieKoKo what I want by that was I thought you were implying a step mum was refusing to let a mum test her child, which wasn't what you were saying... I think?

OP posts:
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