I usually avoid the coronavirus boards so apologies if this has been posted before. I feel like I'm going to have a breakdown and need to try and help myself before it's too late. I feel guilty about this as nothing really bad has happened to me or my family and I know there's so many people out there that have had it worse than me.
I work in ICU so have been around really sick and dying covid patients since March last year however I'm a pharmacist so I don't have the same awful trauma as the nursing and medical staff who have to deal with families or hold patients' hands as they pass away alone. But I still feel the throat clenching stress when the hospital covid numbers are increasing. Our covid ICU managed to shut for a month but now patients are filling up again. I don't know if I can do it a third time. But feel guilty about this as other hospital staff have it worse than me.
My DH has worked throughout and his job is safe so again I shouldn't feel the way I feel as so many others have lost their jobs and their homes.
We have all been well throughout too and haven't caught covid but I worry about our elderly parents who are all now thankfully fully vaccinated.
I worry about the impact all of this is having on my DS's education and social interactions. In the first wave he didn't see another child for 9 weeks solid (he's 10). But again he's just picked up where he left off and plays with his friends all the time now so I shouldn't feel the way I feel as others may have it worse.
I'm probably not making much sense. I just find it hard to do anything. I have no get up and go and feel on the verge of breakdown quite a lot. Is this a common thing? I guess it must be. I don't think I'm depressed and don't want to numb my feelings with ADs as I already feel really numb. I don't know what I want really.