Feeling under pressure :’(

[L1zzi]

Name change for this *

Had my first Covid jab as part of group 6.
My BMI is 40 (working on lowering it)

I’m extremely anxious to get my second jab because of the blood clot risk, I’m under 40 and I feel uneasy about having it.

Most of my family have had AZ and all have been fine.

A few colleagues at work (same age as me) have also had AZ and have just had their second doses, they moved their appointments to get them earlier.

I’ve told them how anxious I am and they literally rolled their eyes abs told me to “get a grip”

For the last week all they have done is ask me constantly if I’ve brought my appointment forward, keep asking me to get it, telling me I’m being ridiculous.

I was in work on Friday and one of them told me she wouldn’t feel happy working in the same office with me if I’m partially vaccinated (even though we’ve all worked in the same office through out the pandemic)

Funny thing is, they’re all going to the pub on a weekend, meeting friends and mixing, where as I actually don’t do much at all.

I see my mum and a close friend, and we usually do things outdoors because I’m still anxious meeting indoors.

I’m probably less of a risk to my work colleagues than they are to me!

I haven’t thought of anything else all weekend and I’m dreading work tomorrow because I know they’re going to ask me.

I so want to be fully vaccinated but I can’t stop thinking of the blood clots and I’m absolutely petrified, I’m also petrified of Covid given that I’m extremely high risk because of my size.

I think this is causing me to have depression because all I’ve done over the weekend is cry.

Please seek some help in terms of anxiety/depression.

I know it's hard but take at the rational look of blood clots. It's about 1/300,000 whereas your risk from a blood clot from catching covid is much much higher especially if you have a risk factor which makes you more likely to end up in hospital.

Secondly you didn't have an adverse reaction to the first jab which is a good thing.

Nothing is risk free in life not even taking paracetamol but it's about understanding the differences of the risk.

Have you tried a mindfulness session or something to help anxiety in the whole situation but also the lead up to booking your second dose?

As someone who is recovering from long covid at many months under 40 and healthy BMI I can tell you covid bloody sucks and I have been off work for months.

I think your colleagues are being knobs but I also think you need to appreciate that the risk of you getting ill from covid is much higher than the risk of you getting a blood clot. Those are the options, really. I would discuss this with your GP so you can get some proper information.
Also, you don’t “have depression” because of this, you’re just upset, which is fair enough.

I mean, obviously unless you actually DO have depression otherwise! I’m just saying the catastrophic language of “I have depression because of this” probably isn’t helping you.

@year5teacher

I think your colleagues are being knobs but I also think you need to appreciate that the risk of you getting ill from covid is much higher than the risk of you getting a blood clot. Those are the options, really. I would discuss this with your GP so you can get some proper information. Also, you don’t “have depression” because of this, you’re just upset, which is fair enough.

@year5teacher

I don’t think it’s “just upset” though.

I feel so detached from the world right now.

I had the choices I’m faced with and the worry they bring.

@Scottishskifun

Have you tried a mindfulness session or something to help anxiety in the whole situation but also the lead up to booking your second dose?

I haven’t no, but I will have a look into it.

I’ve tried going for a few walks this weekend but on most of them I just end up crying and feeling dreadful. I can’t clear my mind of the negative thoughts.

@L1zzi - Safest, quickest and easiest way to stop feeling under pressure is to get your 2nd jab. The alternative is months of feeling under pressure and unresolved anxiety. You risk being run over crossing the road. Has that ever stopped you if you need to get to the other side? Besides all this, are not a “normal” 30-something, you are in an at risk group for coronavirus, so the benefits to you of getting you 2nd jab are statistically significantly greater than for other people your age.

[quote L1zzi]@Scottishskifun

Have you tried a mindfulness session or something to help anxiety in the whole situation but also the lead up to booking your second dose?

I haven’t no, but I will have a look into it.

I’ve tried going for a few walks this weekend but on most of them I just end up crying and feeling dreadful. I can’t clear my mind of the negative thoughts.[/quote]
I would say to contact your GP by what your describing but I also find mindfulness sessions really help things like yoga therapy, sound baths etc. It's very hippy but the relaxation level is immense.

Yoga therapy also teaches breathing exercises which can help calm you if you feel it rising. It's very different from doing yoga BTW!

I’d consider escalating this to HR or your manager, it sounds more like the bullying your getting at work about it is more likely the cause of any emerging depression.

Re the vaccine, your risk from catching covid does sound much higher than your risk of blood clots from the vaccine.

Book an appointment with your GP to discuss.

Your colleagues sound like shits. What the f* is wrong with some people lately? I'm sorry they aren't being kinder. You do sound anxious and I can understand that - I have felt like you to an extent at times, but if you feel like anxiety and sadness are swallowing you, try and deal with those rather than making it about the colleagues/vaccine issue. Have you experienced anxiety before in your life, and are there any things that help?
I find allowing myself set times to ruminate and worry about an issue and then setting it gently aside in my mind, rebuffing it whenever the thought returns, can allow me to distract myself with other things until the anxiety around the thought passes. Cutting out caffeine and gluten really helped with my mental health as well, it was life changing.

Ultimately it is your personal choice whether to have any medical treatment and none of their business - you don't need to discuss it further with them. Their behaviour is unpleasant and bordering on discriminatory, but try not to let them in your head. They just sound like bullies to me.

Your colleagues are complete idiots. You have every right to feel the way you do but completely agree with other about the associated risk. It's really very very very small compared to the alternative OP. Please seek help and discuss your anxiousness around getting the second jab with a professional such as your G.P.

As a lifetime Asthma sufferer the past year and a half have been a nightmare with shielding etc so I was only too happy when offered my 1st jab. It is a personal choice though so do not feel bullied into it. I'm sure once you discuss it properly with a professional they will put your mind at rest.

In the meantime the others have suggested very good techniques to help divert your mind. Please also speak your GP about the Numb feelings and dissociation.