Dr advised it’s probably best I don’t have my second vaccine

[roseyroses]

I will start by saying I suffer with severe health anxiety.

I had my first dose of AZ (very reluctantly) in March. I had this was I have a BMI of 40, I’m 33 years old.

The day I had my vaccine was the day the news of the clots was released, but I went ahead anyway.

Since having my first dose all i have thought about is my second dose.
I’ve had two weeks off of work because my anxiety has spiralled, I’ve been physically sick, and unable to function.

Today I had a face to face appointment with the Gp (to increase anxiety meds) and spoke to him about my fears.

He could see how utterly affected I was by this decision to the point I literally struggled to breathe.

He told me he thinks for the sake of my mental health it’s a good idea not to have my second vaccines.
He told me I will have protection from my first dose and that the first dose protection lasts as long as the second dose protection, the second dose just boots the immunity.

He told me it’s far safer for me to be partially vaccinated than not vaccinated and he didn’t think I was mentally well enough to cope with putting myself through a second dose.

I felt so relieved by this and like a weight had been lifted.

But now I’m home, anxiety is setting in and I’m starting to worry that I’m at risk of Covid. 😔

I will point out that I have already reduced my BMI to 36 and I’m continuing to do so, that is my only risk to Covid.

Your anxiety needs to be tackled. Are you doing something about the underlying anxiety?

No-one is forcing anyone to have a vaccine. So if you don't want to you don't need to "prove" you can't handle it to anyone.

Realistically you know that you're at way more risk from Covid than from the vaccine, but clearly knowing this isn't helping. You know that having two vaccines is better for your immunity than one, but knowing that isn't helping either.

What I'm wondering is what made you post. You seem to have settled on not having the second vaccine and no one is going to send the boys round and make you.

I'm saying this kindly by the way, I have personal experience of panicking over unlikely outcomes. But what do you want to try and work out?

The problem with health anxiety is it will always find something to make you anxious about OP, if the GP had advised you had your second jab your anxiety would have been about that instead. I know it's hard but try to focus on reducing your anxiety itself rather than the thing you're anxious about, have you had any CBT and been taught any grounding or mindfulness techniques?

You’ve had medical advice from a doctor, so I’d go with it.

@TheThermalStair

No-one is forcing anyone to have a vaccine. So if you don't want to you don't need to "prove" you can't handle it to anyone.

Realistically you know that you're at way more risk from Covid than from the vaccine, but clearly knowing this isn't helping. You know that having two vaccines is better for your immunity than one, but knowing that isn't helping either.

What I'm wondering is what made you post. You seem to have settled on not having the second vaccine and no one is going to send the boys round and make you.

I'm saying this kindly by the way, I have personal experience of panicking over unlikely outcomes. But what do you want to try and work out?

I agree with @TheThermalStair. And i'd go further. You need to deal with your anxiety and the first thing to do is to come off social media and Mumsnet and stop feeding it by posting for responses some of which will spiral your anxeity. Think logically about what you're doing. You'll give yourself a stroke if you carry on at this level of anxiety and anything which feeds it needs cutting out permanently whilst you work on calming down. Do you meditate?

@ditalini

As you know, the issue is with your health anxiety which will always find something to hold on to. Your relief has been transient because it was never really about the vaccine. If your anxiety about Covid gets bad enough for you to have the vaccine then it will only transfer to something else.

The risks for both of these things are relatively small in the scheme of things - you're not that likely to get covid, you're very unlikely to get seriously ill if you do, you're very, very unlikely to get a clot if you get the vaccine, and with your health anxiety, you're very, very, very unlikely to ignore the symptoms and fail to get treatment if you do so you would likely be ok.

I can see why your doctor thought it was a good idea to tell you not to have the vaccine, but it was a sticking plaster of a solution and it's already peeling off.

Good work reducing your BMI which is going to have loads of positive effects on your health.

The chances are, whatever decision you make about covid will have no impact on your health one way or the other, but ultimately the only thing that's going to help is by getting to a place where you can tell your intrusive health anxiety thoughts to fuck right off (and I know that's a hard, hard, hard thing).

This is incredibly insightful and utterly spot on. Hope it helps OP.

The odds of getting a clot with your second dose is something like 1 in 1 million. You have far higher odds of catching COVID.

Anxiety is horrible and I can imagine how much you will have been suffering with this but please try to focus on the facts and hopefully it will help you to make the right decision.

What I don’t get about this situation (not being mean or goady op) is that surely your ancients will just move to a new target now?

Now you know you’re more susceptible to Covid (than if you had the second jab) aren’t you more worried about that?

Anxiety not ancients!

I'm not sure the GP has done you a good thing there, in fact they really haven't but you are your own person and need to make your own decisions. I hope you don't get covid and mange to get to a healthy weight.

You have made a decision at this moment in time. The Dr has not argued against it.
You can change your mind at any point in future, Days or months away.
I second the advice about cutting back on Social Media even Mumsnet.

If you really believed what the GP was telling you, you wouldn't be on here looking for validation of that advice from a bunch of (mostly) non-medically qualified strangers. Your anxiety is a problem and regardless of what the doctor advised you are going to find something to worry about - now it is that not being fully vaccinated you will get COVID anyway, if you have the vaccine you will likely end up worrying that it doesn't protect against the newest variants or that you will be one of the tiny number of people who gets a blood clot even beyond the danger period for that. I think people having a go at the doctor are wrong, they can't physically force you to go for the vaccine and if you are so stressed that you can't breathe at the thought of it, what are they supposed to do?

There is a 1 in 58,000 chance of getting a life threatening clot because of covid

There’s been 8 cases worldwide of clots.

So I think it’s
1 in 5,000,000?

HTH

@ditalini

As you know, the issue is with your health anxiety which will always find something to hold on to. Your relief has been transient because it was never really about the vaccine. If your anxiety about Covid gets bad enough for you to have the vaccine then it will only transfer to something else.

The risks for both of these things are relatively small in the scheme of things - you're not that likely to get covid, you're very unlikely to get seriously ill if you do, you're very, very unlikely to get a clot if you get the vaccine, and with your health anxiety, you're very, very, very unlikely to ignore the symptoms and fail to get treatment if you do so you would likely be ok.

I can see why your doctor thought it was a good idea to tell you not to have the vaccine, but it was a sticking plaster of a solution and it's already peeling off.

Good work reducing your BMI which is going to have loads of positive effects on your health.

The chances are, whatever decision you make about covid will have no impact on your health one way or the other, but ultimately the only thing that's going to help is by getting to a place where you can tell your intrusive health anxiety thoughts to fuck right off (and I know that's a hard, hard, hard thing).

I’ll add to the chorus repeating this post because I agree it’s a very astute assessment.

Are boosters for all over 30? If BMI was only reason in group 6, yours is now lower so not in group 6 so not in booster group unless other reasons. If they only do Group 1-9 that is.

@Nocutenamesleft

Ahh I must know a 1 in 58,000 then 🤔 (Aged 41,
Lung blood clot after a second AZ vaccine) If only I was so lucky with lottery odds.

Please please stop feeding the OP’s anxiety with data on vaccines and clots and COVID complications. She is not looking for and she doesn’t need a heated debate. There are plenty of threads to argue the toss on.

Her Gp is in the best position to help her.

OP please get off social media and COVID forums.

Health anxiety is an absolute bugger isn't it.

I advise that you wait a few days to process what the doc said.

You can decide which will give you the most anxiety/what you can cope with the most-- vaccine in the short term or covid in the long term.

It might take time to decide and it's ok to change your mind.

Everyone will have different advice and no everyone gets how all-consuming HA can be. Just see how it goes OP, the vaccine isnt going anywhere.

I think also you need to remember there are few absolutes in life. Every action and choice comes with pros and cons, but you probably navigate most of them without thinking. Your ha is just making even the most normally straightforward decisions more significant and intrusive. Ate you getting counselling too now?

Are you getting enough support for your health anxiety OP? I think the vaccine/no vaccine is a red herring, you are going to be worried whatever you do if you havent got coping strategies.

I know you were increasing medication but do you have a therapist you can reach out to for some additional support? if you are doing CBT, can you get some extra sessions as you seem to be at crisis point with the anxiety levels?

@LemonTT

Please please stop feeding the OP’s anxiety with data on vaccines and clots and COVID complications. She is not looking for and she doesn’t need a heated debate. There are plenty of threads to argue the toss on.

Her Gp is in the best position to help her.

OP please get off social media and COVID forums.

That. The OP is desperately anxious, and the majority of posters are telling her things that will make her even more anxious. This is not the time for the vaccination zealots to be out*

OP, your GP knows the situation best. He spoke to you today, he saw your state of mind, and he made a decision that is right for you. Random MNers are not your friend right now. They have none of the information about you that he has. Trust him.

If you mental state improves, you can always get your second dose later on. But for now, get off social media and do whatever you do to bring your anxiety down. Cup of tea? Breathing exercises? Take care of yourself.

*I'm doubly vaccinated and definitely very pro-vaccine. But not a zealot to the point of lacking empathy for someone with severe anxiety.

It’s just not an easy decision, at all.

I desperately want my second vaccine but the fear and uncertainty of developing a potentially fatal brain clot is just too much for me.

I’ve barely slept because of the worry.

Yes I will be anxious about Covid and I know I have live with that, but my Dr said the fist vaccine offers good protection.

@roseyroses

It’s just not an easy decision, at all.

I desperately want my second vaccine but the fear and uncertainty of developing a potentially fatal brain clot is just too much for me.

I’ve barely slept because of the worry.

Yes I will be anxious about Covid and I know I have live with that, but my Dr said the fist vaccine offers good protection.

Great. Now put social media and MN down. Use the internet for pictures of kittens and videos of pandas sneezing.

This pandemic has been a gift to conspiracy theorists and doom-mongers. But it isn't good for people with anxiety, which is actually the issue, not COVID or clots.

Long before covid and AZ and blood clots.. I had a brain haemorrhage- I didn’t know what the statistics where before (I actually still don’t) I just saw it as I was one of the unlucky ones but lucky to survive with no lasting affects.

I’ve had both AZ because I weighed up the risks clot with covid clot with jab.
BUT I’m free to make that choice with the facts in front of me as you have to do. Anxiety is awful and I don’t think is helped with the numbers being in the news etc. Life itself is a risk and full of unknows we take risks everyday.
Do what’s right for you.

There is no right or wrong answer, it's you who ultimatley has to decide what to do.