Lateral flow tests when seeing parents

[Normanpriceisnotarolemodel]

My Mum and my in laws are fully vaccinated and myself and DH are 3 weeks after the first dose. Kids (primary age) aren’t vaccinated. I see my Mum once or twice a week and have done since she was first vaccinated back in January. She is in our bubble. We live in an area that currently has 0-2 cases of Covid on the Govt website. In laws came to visit yesterday for first time since last August, expressed outrage that we hadn’t all done lateral flow tests before they came. They are fully vaccinated (3 weeks past second dose). They did take tests before they came, but didn’t mention it until they got here. Are we really that reckless and endangering them by not having taken a test? And what about my Mum, should I be testing every time I see her? There have been 0 cases in the school since re-opening and I have kept an eye on the local case numbers which have been consistently low since re-opening. My MIL is always trying to wrong-foot me, but in this case maybe I am being unreasonable and we should have thought to take the tests? Note that I am to blame and not her sonl!

I suppose it would be cautious and would make sense to do so, in fact both sides need to be doing so. Tbh if it was such a concern then she should have asked you before visiting.

Yep, tell her you'll take a test if she will...

@EsmereldaMargaretNoteSpelling the MIL did do a test.

I do a test if I am in long contact with DM eg driving her to medical appointment. I still wear a mask if we meet up at her flats but visitors are asked to do that but don’t do a test, but am only visiting for a short while.

Ah right I missed that in skimming. If she was that concerned she should have mentioned it before hand then.

I guess really we should all be taking lateral flow tests twice a week as the government advertisements encourage us to do. My 17-year-old DD is really good about doing this. In all honesty I have only done a test once, which was before going to see my elderly parents. I felt quite guilty when I dropped DH off to stay with elderly MIL earlier in the week and we hadn't thought to test. To be fair, apart from DD our contact with others is pretty minimal (working from home, doing nearly all shopping online).

I think it probably is a good idea to do a test before meeting people. It gives an extra layer of protection.

However it isn't all your fault or responsibility. Your mil should take it up with her son.

There are people who are now of the opinion that they've had enough of the whole thing and we need to get back to normal.

We're all being encouraged to take lateral flow tests twice a week, and if you have DC in school you have a lot of contacts with other families, even if you sit at home and don't go out the rest of the time.
So I don't know why you wouldn't just do that tbh? Particularly as it's been all over the news that there are new variants (particularly the Indian variant) about and we don't yet know how transmissable they are and how effective the vaccines are.

If you're all operating to your own rules then none of you should be surprised there is no common understanding.

It's advised that all parents of primary school kids test themselves twice a week - but not that the kids get tested, and it's not a rule just guidance.

It is a rule until tomorrow that you don't have people inside your house.

There is no rule or guidance about taking a LF test before you have visitors - mostly because you shouldn't be having visitors - but also because if you're following the guidance of testing twice a week you shouldn't need another one before seeing people.

I'm not having a dog here, just highlighting that you've got a lot going on here so there's no one set of rules that apply.

Dig. I'm not having a dig.

I'm not having a dog either...

I think it's the polite thing to do, especially if you aren't testing regularly. It's free it takes just a few minutes to do. My question would be 'why not'?

Ps I say this as we are just off out to visit family (outside) and our household have all just tested. We told everyone that's what we are doing. Hopefully they will do the same but I'm aware they may not.

Ok, seems like I am being unreasonable. Reason we don’t test twice a week is that I keep a close eye on the local numbers which are super low. In low covid areas you are more likely to get a false positive than an actual positive as the tests are really not that great, so seems like a waste of time. If cases were rising then I would start testing.

Fair enough though I will take comments on board, I think it was just MIL being holier than thou rather than any serious risk to health to fully vaccinated people in an area with zero covid cases.

I don’t think you are being unreasonable to not have tested where she didn’t mention it to you and you didn’t realise

In fairness she should have mentioned it to you if she was bothered, so you could have gone to the pharmacy and got a pack of tests

I’m pregnant and quite nervous meeting people and have planned to see two friends on Saturday and have asked them both to test as I will be too. They’ve agreed. I’m as much a risk to them as they are to me, especially as we are all unvaccinated due to being under 30.

I don’t think they’ll go out of their way to order tests though, so I’m going to pick a box up from the pharmacy and drop off to them so there’s no “oh I forgot to order them” awkwardness

If it’s not at the front of your mind then I think it’s for the person who is more nervous about it to ask you to do one, at least until they become common place and more people are doing them