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Original poster

I feel so trapped by these decisions 😭 I can’t cope

56 replies

Mrshirst11 · 12/05/2021 12:50

I’m 34. High BMI, asthma, psoriasis, psoriatic arthritis. (Not medicated for psoriasis / arthritis)

Group 6 for the vaccine. Had my first dose of AZ 6 weeks ago.

Second one booked but I don’t think I can go ahead with it.

I’m petrified of a blood clot, literally petrified.

Since the announcement last week of a different vaccine for under 40’s, I haven’t stopped thinking about it.

I can’t sleep, I’m not able to concentrate at work, I’m snappy, I’m eating rubbish to make myself feel better.
I feel utterly down in the dumps.

I feel like I’m trapped, I either have the vaccine and risk a blood clot / death, or I don’t have the vaccine and risk being severely ill / death with Covid.

I can’t see a way out. I feel like I’ve lost all motivation.

I felt happy after my first dose, I felt like there was light ahead and I started to feel like life was going to be good, hopeful, normal.

Now I just honestly feel numb, life feels hard, I don’t see the light and I feel utterly miserable with this decision I have to make. 😭

OP posts:
AlmostSummer21 · 12/05/2021 19:07

(((HUG))))

Anxiety isn't logical.

All the data shows the very minute risk is after the first vax. You've had that, you were fine, the second one has no clot risk associated with it. You'd be daft to be half vaccinated when you could be fully vaccinated when the risk of a clot is after the first vax.

Tell the anxiety to STFU & let your logical self take over 💐

roarfeckingroarr · 12/05/2021 19:09

You have a very high BMI so COVID is far more of a risk to you than a blood clot. Take the second dose.

Cherrycee · 12/05/2021 19:39

OP you have plenty of time before your second dose, so try to put off the stressing for now. In six weeks there will be far more data available. There may be a better way of predicting and treating the AZ clots, or the advice may have changed to allow you a different vaccine for your second dose. We don't know right now what the picture will be in six weeks, so there's no point worrying about it now.

With your health conditions, you did the right thing by taking it.

bumblenbean · 12/05/2021 19:39

I understand OP. My second is due on Saturday and I’m so anxious. I’m grateful to have been vaccinated, though like a PP it turned out I was added to group 6 in error so I wish I hadn’t had it and could then get Pfizer along with others in my age group (38).

I’m going to have my second as it’s either that or stay half vaccinated but I’m feeling so on edge and I know I’ll be constantly anxious for a few weeks after. Also stressing about AZ possibly being less effective against some variants. I would happily have a different vaccine for the second dose but sadly not an option yet.

Anxiety makes me feel like such a shit person too - DH just got his invite for Pfizer and instead of being pleased my immediate reaction was massive envy Sad

YukoandHiro · 12/05/2021 19:42

Take the vaccine. You're at high risk if you get covid and the chance of a clot if you get covid is much higher for you as you have a high BMI.

They've now given clear advice about what to do if you experience relevant side effects and no deaths since. It's now far safer for you to get the jab now than it was when you first had it.

Clots after second jab aren't proven to be linked at all (there have only been six) - they don't believe they are linked. If you're going to react you would have by now.

Just do it. I felt anxious too, but once it's done then it's over with

Hoppinggreen · 12/05/2021 19:44

I know Anxiety over rides logic but there really is no reason not to have your 2nd vaccine. Nobody has had a blood clot from their 2nd vaccine.
Covid is far riskier for you.
Please try and have it, you need it.

bumblenbean · 12/05/2021 19:44

@YukoandHiro I think I remember you from the GD thread about being added to group 6. Have you had your second now? Sorry if I’ve mixed you up with someone else!

Gymsmile21 · 12/05/2021 19:48

I completely understand!

Was running in to get the vaccine and so glad once I did, now it’s changed for the under 40’s, whilst I will still have the second dose, I’m actually pooping it!

YukoandHiro · 12/05/2021 19:49

@bumblenbean yes that's me - I was added to group 6, got the jab, then spoke to the GP who said I didn't need to shield and ordered my HBA1C. It came back normal so she removed me from the shielding list, but as I'd already had my first jab I had an appt booked for the second.
I had my second on Monday. I was anxious too but read a lot about it in the run up and on the balance of risk decided to go for it. There's very little evidence that there's a link on second jab. If your body didn't have an adverse reaction first time you're basically fine!

Gymsmile21 · 12/05/2021 19:49

You can’t say no blood clots for a second dose as not many people have had a second of the AZ.

That’s why I’m worried - but still going to do it.

BillMasheen · 12/05/2021 19:51

I sympathise with how you feel, but the chances of being killed in a Road accident are way, way higher, and you don't let worrying about that ruin your life

Just looked this up, now these are old figures, but the annual Risk of being killed in a car accident in the UK was around 1 in 20,000. blood clots 1 in a million.

By rights, if your anxiety was logical you should be stressing about getting there, not getting the jab.

bumblenbean · 12/05/2021 19:58

@YukoandHiro thanks, exactly the same as me! I think I’m just gonna suck it up and have it. It’s helpful to know there are others in the same position.

The anxiety is now worrying that we might not get a booster if removed from shielding list, but will have had it ‘too early’ so that immunity may wane just in time for winter - I’m such a barrel of laughs these days 🤣

Disfordarkchocolate · 12/05/2021 20:08

If you were going to have a bad reaction you would have had it with the first dose.

Slowdownandsee · 12/05/2021 20:12

Sorry you are feeling like that, def get the second dose when offered, I have covid now and it’s really not nice and I have no health condtions/low bmi etc, I’ve had one dose of vaccine and I think it’s stopped me getting really bad but I’ve been in bed a few days and now up and about only able to do small bouts of activity then I’m wiped out and usually do several excercise classes before this illness. The risks of clots are minuscule and the benefits of the vaccine are immense for you with your underlying health issues, try to keep that in mind to give you strength to go ahead, you are looking after your health by getting the extra protection offered by full dose

YukoandHiro · 12/05/2021 20:13

@bumblenbean I did think that about boosters but I'm just pleased that my hba1c is normal and GD isn't actually a risk factor, so having had one full vaccine course we should be fine until it comes round for the booster for my age group (39)

Neonprint · 12/05/2021 20:13

OP I understand I felt the same. I posted on here and got absolutely torn to pieces. So hope it goes better for you.

I have a high bmi, which mumsnet hates so I think that was why I got loads of hate.thing is your bmi is what it is. Is puts you at increased risk but not the increased risk people here make out. Although the first dose will give you some protection it won't entirely protect you. I do think it's really shitty so many people under 40 who've had their first dose have been put in this position.

I ended up getting mine and it was fine. I was anxious and the first few weeks were crap as every pain I felt like it was potentially a blood clot. But the benefits far far outweigh the risks.

Neonprint · 12/05/2021 20:14

@Disfordarkchocolate

If you were going to have a bad reaction you would have had it with the first dose.
That's not actually complete proven.
Neonprint · 12/05/2021 20:17

@roarfeckingroarr

You have a very high BMI so COVID is far more of a risk to you than a blood clot. Take the second dose.
Why you adding very high to op's bmi? She didn't say what it was. She said it was high.

Any fucking opportunity. How embarrassing for you.

Takeitonthechin · 12/05/2021 20:21

For your psoriasis a nod psoriatic arthritis, follow My goodness recipes on Instagram, this will help you keep control of it... hope this little bit of info helps 💐

whataballbag · 12/05/2021 20:29

Oh god I just read my post back. Pinched all your HOPE it's meant to say, not your hole BlushBlush

Original poster
Mrshirst11 · 12/05/2021 20:58

@lljkk

Why are you so worried about jab, OP, when all your other health conditions don't tie you up in knots & make you depressed?

the risk to your quality of life has to be worse from those other things -- I'm not trying to encourage you to be depressed, just noting that you've managed to dismiss possible anxiety about all the other things. What is different about the vaccine that you obsess on it?

@lljkk

I do worry about my health conditions, but I feel like this is different.

I feel like I don’t have a choice in the vaccine.

OP posts:
lljkk · 12/05/2021 21:04

The vaccine is as voluntary as the rest of the options you have in managing the many health conditions.

Original poster
Mrshirst11 · 12/05/2021 21:06

@whataballbag

Oh god I just read my post back. Pinched all your HOPE it's meant to say, not your hole BlushBlush
@whataballbag Grin
OP posts:
museumum · 12/05/2021 21:07

The under 40s are not more at risk of clots, it’s just that healthy under 40s are low risk of covid. But that’s not you, you have higher covid risk so you need to have the jab. The clot risk of the jab is far lower than the clot risk with covid.

wingsnthat · 12/05/2021 21:11

It’s like you’re focusing on the wrong thing. I mean, your weight is more of an issue to your health than the vaccine but you’re not fussed about that? You’ve already had one dose of the vaccine you’re worried about and responded to it normally, so your chances of clotting from the 2nd is even lower.

Your psoriasis isn’t relevant and it’s your own decision not to take treatment for it 🤷🏼‍♀️

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