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Original poster

AZ/Severe Anxiety

49 replies

whataballbag · 08/05/2021 13:06

Wasn't sure where to post this, sorry.

Due 2nd dose AstraZeneca next week.

Have severe health anxiety & ocd. Spent last 4 days crying, panicking, throwing up, feeling suicidal because of the fear.

I know I don’t ‘have’ to have the second dose but I also feel the same about not having it. I just want to be safe, but both options are making me so fucking mentally ill.

Spoke to GP’s who just said ‘shame you feel like that as it’s safe, no chance at all of a different vaccine, referral to psychiatrist’ which I’m greatful for but that’s not going to help me right now.

I know this will sound utterly fucking stupid to some and trust me, I would give anything to not be like this. So fucking desperate and scared.

I'm a single mum to 2 young boys and they shouldn't have to see this. I've held it together so well for the past year and it's all just gone to shit.

I was sooo so excited for the first jab, thought maybe it was a start to recovery for me and now this, just seems like no way out for me.

I don't know what I'm hoping to gain from posting this, everyone I speak to irl either tells me I'm stupid or 'oh it'll be fine'.

OP posts:
user1477249785 · 08/05/2021 13:10

Oh OP health anxiety is crippling isn't it? I feel for you. I don't have much helpful advice I'm afraid but just wanted to give a hand hold because it's such a miserable feeling.

Original poster
whataballbag · 08/05/2021 13:14

Extremely. And people just think it's funny 'oh silly you look at you bleaching everything for the 50th time today' and it's not at all.

OP posts:
bitheby · 08/05/2021 13:15

If you were going to have a problem with the vaccine it would have occurred at the first dose. You didn't so you'll be fine. AZ side effects apparently far less at the second dose too.

Original poster
whataballbag · 08/05/2021 13:16

@bitheby

If you were going to have a problem with the vaccine it would have occurred at the first dose. You didn't so you'll be fine. AZ side effects apparently far less at the second dose too.
That's not the case though. 6 occurrences of the clots after the second and counting.
OP posts:
DarceyDashwood · 08/05/2021 13:22

Does it help at all to say at least now everyone is aware of the (extremely rare) clotting issue? So you know what to look out for, as do health workers? So even in the (extremely unlikely) case you did suffer some serious side effects, you’d no doubt get medical advice quickly and there be able to be treated quickly. When you had the first jab the risks were higher and no one even knew about this issue! Try not to jump from “getting the vaccine” to @worst case senator” if you can. There’s lots of steps in the middle!

Health anxiety is absolutely horrible so I do understand. Flowers

DarceyDashwood · 08/05/2021 13:23

Worst case scenario

polelynn · 08/05/2021 13:38

I totally understand. My anxiety (and associated OCD) is so severe I've not even been for my first jab yet as barely leave the house. I really could've done without all the press surrounding the vaccine side effects. It feels like I'm constantly being gaslighted. Despite understanding side effects are very rare indeed, as our minds hone in on the slightest risk, I expect it to happen to me or, my biggest fear, to pick up Covid in that environment. Sorry I cannot provide any practical advice but wanted you to know you aren't alone.

Kyph · 08/05/2021 13:39

You know that your anxiety is irrational and no-one is going to be able to stop it for you.
Would it help to think like this?

If you get the vaccine next week then you might be worried for a couple of weeks after but then you'll be massively relieved that you did it and you are protected.
If you decide not to have the vaccine you will not be free of the worry after two weeks, it will go on much longer as there will always be a worry that you are not protected or that you still need to get the second dose.

Original poster
whataballbag · 08/05/2021 13:46

@polelynn

I totally understand. My anxiety (and associated OCD) is so severe I've not even been for my first jab yet as barely leave the house. I really could've done without all the press surrounding the vaccine side effects. It feels like I'm constantly being gaslighted. Despite understanding side effects are very rare indeed, as our minds hone in on the slightest risk, I expect it to happen to me or, my biggest fear, to pick up Covid in that environment. Sorry I cannot provide any practical advice but wanted you to know you aren't alone.
Thankyou, and I'm so so sorry you're feeling like this too
OP posts:
Original poster
whataballbag · 08/05/2021 13:47

@Kyph

You know that your anxiety is irrational and no-one is going to be able to stop it for you. Would it help to think like this?

If you get the vaccine next week then you might be worried for a couple of weeks after but then you'll be massively relieved that you did it and you are protected.
If you decide not to have the vaccine you will not be free of the worry after two weeks, it will go on much longer as there will always be a worry that you are not protected or that you still need to get the second dose.

I don't think it would because I wouldn't be 'worried' I'd be even worse than I am now.

I understand what you're saying I really do but I genuinely don't think I would be able to cope during the 4 weeks

OP posts:
Schmetterling1 · 08/05/2021 13:48

OP. I understand. I really do. This is not silly or all in your head. This is a horrible, horrible position that many of us have been put in. You’ll find that a lot of the sneering or dismissive people are older, or have had a different vaccine. Easy for them to be so blasé. I don’t know if I’ll get my second so I can’t advise you but I can tell you that what you’re feeling is ok and understandable. And I can also tell you that if you don’t have the vaccine you’re unlikely to catch Covid and vanishingly unlikely to die from it. And if you get the vaccine you’re vanishingly unlikely to have any negative effects. So the MOST LIKELY outcome is that you’ll be absolutely fine either way. Take one day at a time.

Original poster
whataballbag · 08/05/2021 13:50

I'm really grateful for this support but I'm honestly so so gutted that other people feel like this.

The only saving grace is that it's me that feels like this and everyone I care about seems to be mentally unaffected by it all.

OP posts:
Quartz2208 · 08/05/2021 13:53

It is 6 oout of 6 million second jabs given OP it is a very small number

bitheby · 08/05/2021 13:53

I'm 44 and had my first AZ six weeks ago. The risk is much much smaller than so many things you do every day without thinking and the PP is right that everyone knows what to look for now.

I hadn't heard that people were having problems after the second dose but that's still only 6 people out of many millions.

Original poster
whataballbag · 08/05/2021 13:54

@Quartz2208

It is 6 oout of 6 million second jabs given OP it is a very small number
That's exactly what they said about the first doses and that climbed pretty rapidly
OP posts:
StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind · 08/05/2021 13:56

@whataballbag I'm so sorry you're feeling so anxious, I know myself how utterly crippling it is. It's often completely irrational too- mine certainly has been in the past, it doesn't make it any easier to get your head around it though.

I don't know if it helps to read this but I'll try- I'm 33, obviously now know that I'd be eligible to choose which vaccine I'd have but took the opportunity to have AZ two weeks ago. Honestly I've been absolutely fine since, very mild reaction to it, and I'm not worried about blood clots at all. I'll be having the second one too and I just feel glad to have had the first and only a week away from good levels of protection.

Have you had help and support with your health anxiety/OCD? I think this would make such a massive difference to you.

You have my utmost sympathy for dealing with horrendous anxiety whilst being a single mum to young children- I've gone through the same and know how hellish it is. Keep talking if it helps 💐

Original poster
whataballbag · 08/05/2021 13:58

I'm waiting on a referral to a psychiatrist because cbt etc hasn't helped.

I know it's unlikely I'd have an adverse reaction to the jab but my brain just won't comprehend that. It doesn't help that one of my kids has heard things about it at school and has begged me not to have it as he thinks I'll die.

It's just all so utterly fucking shit.

OP posts:
Quartz2208 · 08/05/2021 13:59

It shouldnt climb that rapidly now I would not have thought - the analysis seems to be that you are 3 times more likely to die if you havent had the vaccine and the risk seems to be 30 times less than the first one you have already had

Would understanding the risks make it better or worse?

VaVaBoom · 08/05/2021 14:01

There have been 16,764,720 second doses given (all vaccines) 6 cases following 2nd seems like very good odds to me. Less chance than being in a road traffic accident.

VaVaBoom · 08/05/2021 14:03

Well done for seeking help OP the psychaitrist will help

Original poster
whataballbag · 08/05/2021 14:03

It's not all vaccines I have the worry with just the AZ. I'd happily take another

OP posts:
PastelLampshade · 08/05/2021 14:06

It’s totally understandable op. I was in a similar position to you in terms of anxiety and OCD. Are you on a any medication? Sertraline has been life changing for me.

VaVaBoom · 08/05/2021 14:08

Of those 6 who had bloot clots after the second AZ there is no indication that any were fatalities. Statistically it is safer for you to get your second vaccine than get in a car.

Original poster
whataballbag · 08/05/2021 14:18

@PastelLampshade

It’s totally understandable op. I was in a similar position to you in terms of anxiety and OCD. Are you on a any medication? Sertraline has been life changing for me.
Yes I take imipramine, couldn't tolerate sertraline. Clearly it's not working too great though eh 😂
OP posts:
Original poster
whataballbag · 08/05/2021 14:22

@VaVaBoom

Of those 6 who had bloot clots after the second AZ there is no indication that any were fatalities. Statistically it is safer for you to get your second vaccine than get in a car.
Statistically it's also safer for me to not get the AZ according to data the MHRA have released
OP posts:
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