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Original poster

Transmission of covid after vaccination to someone without vaccination

19 replies

Goldenbear · 06/05/2021 09:52

Please can anyone help with this question. I have googled it and it does seem like a minimal risk but I am caught between a rock and a hard place as my Dad wants to visit but DH is 39 and is not happy about it until he at least has had the first vaccination. My DH'S concern is also that it is not allowed at the moment as my Dad lives in a funny set up with others in a house. He is therefore not single and in our bubble. He lives with people who have poor hygiene standards and one has carers visiting every day for medical care as they have an illness that is now being treated at home, the fellow resident was in hospital only last week though. DH is worried about the number of houses in London the care worker has visited. My Dad is upset and thinks DH is being over the top. Can anyone help with the question of likelihood of catching Covid from my Dad if he is asymptomatic?

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 06/05/2021 09:55

Could you meet up outdoors?

Original poster
Goldenbear · 06/05/2021 10:03

Yes, sort of but he is about 2 hrs away and my Dad is not keen, he likes to stay with us, I think in part as he likes me to provide the meals for the weekend, he doesn't like spending money.

OP posts:
Original poster
Goldenbear · 06/05/2021 10:05

He asks why we can visit my Mum (they are divorced) but she is in our bubble, lives on her own in the middle of nowhere and hasn't been out of the locality for a year. She is also hyper aware of the rules and is very clean.

OP posts:
MRex · 06/05/2021 10:17

Has your dad had 2 vaccines yet or 1? Transmission risk is very low, especially without symptoms, but it is not zero. About 65% less likely to catch covid and then half as likely to transmit means there is still a significant chance of transmission if someone's personal situation is risky: www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-56904993.amp.

It's up to your DH to consider his own health and wellbeing, and it isn't fair for you to try to push him to do something that would make him feel unsafe. Your DH is likely to be vaccinated within a matter of weeks, then 3 weeks to build immunity. Personally I'd just wait and see your dad outside for now, you can take him for pub lunches etc.

Original poster
Goldenbear · 06/05/2021 10:23

He has had both as early 70's. Thanks that is really helpful information.

I just had my first yesterday as slightly older than DH but we asked as he is 40 in a few months but no joy at the moment. Considering I had mine yesterday, I am still in the danger zone myself so it is both of us really.

I absolutely do agree that I shouldn't push DH, it is not right, I think it is just the immense guilt my Dad will make me feel, he has not replied to my message about our concerns so I know he's not happy.

OP posts:
Babdoc · 06/05/2021 10:27

I think you should take yourself out of the loop here, and get your DH to contact your dad himself and explain when he will be happy to countenance visits.
You should not be a guilt tripped gobetween
for these two!

Original poster
Goldenbear · 06/05/2021 10:32

Good advice and they do get on well so DH would happily explain. I feel really unwell due to vaccination yesterday so I don't think I'm going to be up for any social stuff this weekend anyway.

OP posts:
MRex · 06/05/2021 10:33

If your dad tries to guilt trip, that's unfair. I developed a habit of using toddler management with anyone who behaves like a toddler and it works really well. E.g. State emotion with empathy: "I'm sorry that you will be feeling sad about that. We will arrange it in a few weeks when we can.", Offer options so they pick only from possible options: "Would you like us to come to X pub near you for lunch or do you want to come to Y pub near here? We'll treat you either way."

Original poster
Goldenbear · 06/05/2021 10:51

Yes, that is a good tactic and I will employ it to manage my Dad. He is unusual in that he is very thoughtful about the wider world, particularly people living in impoverished circumstances and he is working on this product to help the environment as he worries about his Grandchildren's future but in his personal relationships he can be quite challenging and critical. I don't think he even means to be but he will point out how small our house is, my DC's poor grammar in texts, how little we earn in comparison to my sibling (we are on very good combined salaries so this is not really true) but yes, it is peanuts compared to my sibling. Anyway, I digress, that's really not the point of this thread. Thanks for your help.

OP posts:
Original poster
Goldenbear · 06/05/2021 11:00

Well my Dad has replied how and is evidently peed off as I got the one line response and that he's glad he hasn't bought a train ticket. Oh well, that's life.

OP posts:
bookworm1632 · 06/05/2021 11:23

@MRex

Has your dad had 2 vaccines yet or 1? Transmission risk is very low, especially without symptoms, but it is not zero. About 65% less likely to catch covid and then half as likely to transmit means there is still a significant chance of transmission if someone's personal situation is risky: www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-56904993.amp.

It's up to your DH to consider his own health and wellbeing, and it isn't fair for you to try to push him to do something that would make him feel unsafe. Your DH is likely to be vaccinated within a matter of weeks, then 3 weeks to build immunity. Personally I'd just wait and see your dad outside for now, you can take him for pub lunches etc.

I totally second this.

I did a rough calculation based on the figures available and the overall risk reduction from both vaccines is about 80-90% which is significant in the context of progress towards herd-immunity, but not really a game changer for personal circumstances like this.

The main protecting factor at the moment is going to be prevalence of cases in your area. If they are exceptionally low, then you may consider the overall risk negligible. But the rules aren't there for the sake of them - and covid is a potentially serious disease for all ages with long-term complications possible.

Like MRex, I'd stick to outdoors for now. 3 weeks after the first jab, your DH will have excellent protection and the risk falls away to near zero.

Original poster
Goldenbear · 06/05/2021 12:22

That's a useful statistic and perspective- the cases in his area of London (using the postcode tool on the Gov website) are under 3, it's the same for my postcode in the home counties and so this is why I'm conflicted but a) he lives with people in a shared house scenario and we cannot therefore form a bubble with him b) the other people who live there have the need for people to visit every day and they will visit several homes in that part of London every day. We are worried about that specific risk.

I think he will be ok whe he has got round to the idea.

Thanks again.

OP posts:
starfish4 · 06/05/2021 12:45

I think we all have to respect eachother's wishes in how we deal with covid restrictions and mixing. If someone is going to enter your house, especially if for an overnight stay so distancing constantly hard, then I totally understand your DH wants his vaccinations. I think your DH will be extremely uncomfortable if someone comes into the house at the moment, and afterall it is his house where he should be able to relax. It won't be long until he gets vaccinated. In the meantime, I'd try and meet up for a day here and there either mid-way or you could drive to where DF lives and have lunch/a walk. Hope you get it sorted.

Original poster
Goldenbear · 06/05/2021 13:05

Thanks, you are very much right about it being my DH'S home, it is just that guilt like I am rejecting him, he's oldish and it has been so long.

He hates where he lives so that's why he likes to stay for long periods of time at ours an doesn't like meeting in London. Anyway, I think he will respect the facts and figures.

OP posts:
Juo · 06/05/2021 13:07

This is interesting about zero transmission by fully vaccinated people.
twitter.com/sailorrooscout/status/1388872779555123205?s=19

DarceyDashwood · 06/05/2021 13:12

I think you need to explain it is currently against the guidelines and that in addition your DH hasn’t been vaccinated yet. He doesn’t have to wait too much longer.

VanCleefArpels · 06/05/2021 13:18

This is exactly the type of scenario where a free lateral flow test might ease anyone’s concerns about a very tiny risk. Your dad could do a test which, together with the fact he is fully vaccinated, might convince your DH that it will be fine to visit. But DH is right that no indoor visitors allowed yet anyway!

TruelyWonder · 06/05/2021 13:40

[quote Juo]This is interesting about zero transmission by fully vaccinated people.
twitter.com/sailorrooscout/status/1388872779555123205?s=19[/quote]
Yes I am very excited this too. However it is early days and though no cases have ever been reported transmission is a very hard thing to pin point. Definitely looking like early figures for percentage of transmission was an under estimate though Grin. Still people should continue to be careful until we have more evidence. My guess is the amount of transmission blocked will be about 85% or more judging by our better than expected drops in hospitalisation and deaths.

MrsAudreyShapiro · 06/05/2021 13:52

Statistics are all very well, but the real issue is DH is not comfortable with the visit and should not be pressurised. It is entirely reasonable to want to wait until he has been vaccinated. It is also reasonable to follow the current guidelines.

Your father is being manipulative by laying on the guilt and saying you are rejecting him. All you want to do is wait a few weeks.

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