Co-parents with different views on covid vaccination of a child

[giraffelonglegs]

Does anyone have any insight or wisdom to offer?

As in news recently the question of offering vaccination to children over 12 is one I know my ex husband and I will disagree on. What happens if one of us thinks he should have it and one of thinks he shouldn't?

His medical records have my address but we have 50:50 custody.

Thanks in hopeful anticipation

How old is your DS? What does he want to do?

He's 12 but is much younger emotionally. I think he'd say he wants it so he can go on holiday!!

I think it's crazy to vaccinate children so I'd side with the parent who didn't want their child to be injected with a substance that they don't need and that could have long-term side effects.

OP, are you the one who doesn't want your DS vaccinated? If so, is your ex-H the type to try to take your DS to a vaccination appointment behind your back? Or is he more the type to argue with you but not actually do anything? If the latter, are you best simply not raising the subject?

What's the point arguing over this now when there's zero chance of your dc being offered a vaccine in the near future?
If and when the issue does arise then discuss it, we will be a lot further down the line in terms of transmission and potential sides to make a decision

What does your child want? That should be the deal breaker.

wait until the vaccines are actually offered to children. there will be lots more safety data by then and it will be easier to make a decision.

and try to keep the emotion out of it. if one person digs their heels in, the other may dig in to and turn it into a bigger row than it need be.

@TulipsInAJug

I think it's crazy to vaccinate children so I'd side with the parent who didn't want their child to be injected with a substance that they don't need and that could have long-term side effects.

Some variants are affecting children, look at Brazil

I think you let the 12 year old decide. I was not allowed to have some vaccines, one lot at 11, one at 13. I was still cross about it as an adult. Don’t underestimate, however emotionally young you think they are, a 12 year old’s feelings in this.

Can see both sides. But i would ask has the child had other vaccinations? Were both parents in agreement about those? What is the reason parent 1 wants the child vaccinated. What are the reasons parent 2 is against?
Often children are vaccinated to the benefit of the community. If the virus continues to spread amongst the non vaccinated the larger the nimber of non vaccinated the greater the risk of the virus mutating which potentially would cause a mutation that the vaccine doent protect from and we could be back into problems.
Is the child have any health conditions which makes them more vunerable should they get covid? Doea the child have a history of bad reactions to vaccines/medication?
is the child likely to want to go on any school trips which maybe to countries needing proof of vaccination.?

There is lots of varibles but i would look to common ground on things you agree on in principle. What is both parents bottom line, what would both parents be happy to compromise on?
Ie. Can an agreement be made where you decide to wait until 6 months after first of childs age groups has recieved the vaccination.

BUT also this is a situation where it is right that the child has an educated and unbiased access to all the information and has the opportunity to raise their views, concerns, questions and choice

12 year old should have input on this. But why make this into an issue now when it's not a current issue?

With this vaccine, honestly I wouldn't be that fussed. Very rare vaccine side effects/very rare affecting child disease. Might as well argue about whether winning the lottery or getting struck by lightning is important.

Let the 12 yo choose but don't make a big deal.

I think I'd worry about this nearer the time. If his parents normally let him have vaccinations, then I can't see a reason for not having this one. Millions all over the world will have had it with minimal consequences. If he doesn't normally have vaccinations, then maybe that's different and he should have a say. If his reason for wanting it is purely so he can go in holiday, that's the main reason my 19 year old is desperate for it. He might not say it this year, but next year it'll start kicking in how important his education is and you'll find most teensgers really want to be in school as they don't want to lag behind knowing they're working towards important exams and experiences.

Thanks interesting perspectives. I've seen a few news articles in the last few days about this hence why thinking about it now.

He's had all other vaccinations and gets the annual flu one (school send the link asking for permission and I fill it in but it's more because my ex is crap at admin and it wouldn't happen otherwise)