Travelling whilst pregnant - WWYD?

[mamaatthegym]

I’ll try and keep this short.

PILs have organised a trip back to their home country in August to see close family (parents, siblings etc) they haven’t seen for 3 years. It will be me, OH, DD (will be 20 months) and PILs going. They want to go for 2 weeks. There’s also other family meeting there from a different country bringing their toddler who is DD’s cousin, they are similar age and have never met so everyone is excited about that.

Apart from me because I don’t want to go. I have anxiety about catching Covid whilst I’m there and I feel like 2 weeks away from home whilst pregnant is too long, let alone in a pandemic.

I have largely shielded for the past year, not because I’m high risk, but just because of my circumstances. I was on mat leave when Covid started then was made redundant upon returning to my job last autumn. I don’t have a huge circle of friends, I was going to the gym but haven’t been since December. In a nutshell, I have barely mixed with anyone.

The thought of suddenly going to an airport, where thousands of people are passing through, then getting on a packed plane, then landing in a country and mixing with lots of family members across different households, probably lots of hugging, kissing and shaking hands as that’s tradition in the country we are going. All that whilst 6 months pregnant after barely mixing with anyone for the best part of a year and a half. I just don’t know if it’s a good idea.

If I decide not to go I’ll be inclined to also not let DD go alone with her dad and grandparents, I can’t stand the thought of her being in a different country for 2 weeks, it makes me feel sick. And I know that will well and truly ruin it for PILs.

I know it’s only April and I’m keeping an open mind. A lot might change from now until August but I’m just looking for perspective and asking what would you do?

Get vaccinated!

@MotherOfCrocodiles should have added - I have no idea when I will be offered the vaccine at the moment so I’m assuming there’s a chance I might not have had it by the time we go! I’m 28, low risk.

Our flights from last year we moved to this year but I’ll be 7.5 months pregnant - I’m not taking the risk we will holiday in the UK.

I have been vaccinated.
There is no chance I would get on an airplane.
There is no chance I would cross the border and risk quarantine or closure.

I am not pregnant, I am just very high risk. The vaccine makes me less fearful, but the possibility of variants is just too strong for me personally.

How many hours flight is it? Some airlines won't take you at 6mths for flights longer than 2hrs! Either way, you'd need a fit to fly certificate both from here and the country you are going to, so you can get back! I wouldn't but really depends on the country and how far away it is???

I wouldnt do it. I also wouldn't get Vaccinated until I gave birth as you're only 3 months away and it's summer and it's untested for pregnancies and babies.

Sometimes you have to be selfish to look after your family and people have to respect your decision. Be strong and do what you want.

I was in a similar situation to you in March last year. I decided to not go and keep my DC here with me. My partner was fully supportive and my PIL were too. They were upset but i didn't back down even though i felt incredibly guilty. Its not about them, its about you and your family and what you believe is the right thing to do.

I absolutely wouldn’t go. If it is going to be a very difficult discussion, I would tell them that travel insurance won’t cover you. Which may well be true anyway

I think I would give it a miss

No way. You don't even know if travel will be allowed then.

Stay at home with your dd. You don't have to do anything you don't want to x

Hope you will get vaccine by then - first dose gives you a lot of protection. I am also pregnant and still too young for vaccine- am pretty much the last bloody person I know who hasn't had one! I think they should be prioritising pregnancy as a risk group like USA and Ireland :-(

Travel insurance point is a good one if you need an out.

I guess it is possible you will feel less daunted by it in august though as things will probably have been "open" for a good couple of months by then.

Thank you for your replies!

I had a chat with OH and listed everything I wrote out...he immediately said absolutely the right thing and he totally agrees and won’t be going either! So he’s wonderfully supportive. Next task will be telling MIL but I think she’ll understand (eventually)

@mamaatthegym - could some of your DH's relatives come to you instead? Could be something to discuss with MIL as another option, especially if you all chipped in a bit to help with their flights.