Covid anxiety in 6yo

[Heretooutthere]

Our DS(6) has become increasingly anxious about Covid over the past 6 months to the point where I think we might need to ask for professional. I wondered if anyone has a DC of a similar age who worries about Covid constantly, and is not improving with reassurance.

Reassurances and answering his questions in an age-appropriate way just don't seem to be helping because the questions are asked every day, sometimes repeatedly. Its so much sometimes that I despair as when I have asked other parents they all say their DC only ever mention Covid occasionally. Yesterday when I picked him up from school he said hello and then 'when will the virus go away.'

Every day we are asked:
-When will the virus go away
-Where did the virus come from
-Who gets sick
-I don't want grandad to die
-I love you but I don't love the virus
-How did the virus get here to England
-Does the vaccine injection hurt (and then says he won't have it as he hates needles from blood tests)
-When the virus is gone will there be people who have never had it

We never watch the TV news about Covid, discuss Covid in front of him much at all, we only know 3 people who have had it so its not like lots of people we know have got sick; his school has never had to shut because of a case, which I think is quite rare. Lockdowns 1 & 3 were horrendous for him mentally, especially as he is an only child, and the social isolation caused terrible distress.

I'm at a loss as to what to do as clearly our answers are not helping; I've tried giving him solid examples of how the situation is improving because we are slowly being allowed to do more things (and those that affect him i.e. meeting friends now ok, starting Beavers and swim lessons again, can eat outside a cafe, shops have re-opened etc).

I have looked online and some MH charities and NSPCC give general advice to alleviate children's fears but these seem mostly aimed at older DC/teenagers, and don't say what to do when its not helping.

@Lalalablahblahblah thank you, I will see if our GP knows of anything similar to help. It just feels to me like young children have been forgotten about in this pandemic sometimes

You could look for resources on play based approaches here or look for a play therapist who might be able to support him with his anxiety

playtherapy.org.uk/

Look on iplayer. There was a get well soon episode on cbeebies and an operation ouch episode on cbbc both dealing with coronavirus in a very good age appropriate way.
It may help a bit, especially if you then use the same answers/ wording as the programmes if the questions carry on.

Unfortunately op, I think the impact of the social isolation on only children has been seriously underestimated. Lots of parents and teachers will fail to recognise this if they don’t have an only child because the actual stark reality of a totally isolated child or even teenager is brutal.
I suspect your problem is wider than actual COVID fear and is probably more generalised. He may have a deep seated fear of returning to that isolation again rather than the actual disease itself.
Obviously I am just guessing here and applying the knowledge of what has happened to my teenage DD.
I think you’ll have to create your own solutions here. Help is not likely to be forthcoming, in my experience services are overwhelmed and GPs battle weary.
Best advice; form a plan in advance, in case there’s another lockdown. My plan is to break the rules if it happens again; find someone you can trust to allow your son frequent socialisation opportunity. No way am I allowing it to happen to my DD again. It is cruelty but I realised too late, as we were busy sticking to the damn “roolz”.
Meanwhile, use every opportunity you can to get his confidence up with mixing again. Orchestrate picnics, outings, play dates.....socialise him again.....a little and often and increase the time, which will increase his confidence probably.
This will pass op but don’t wait for school or GP to help. Take action yourself now. I’m so glad I have. Even if it does sound like I’m training a puppy!

You could be onto something there @Lupinhere37

Our youngest has mostly taken everything in his stride. We never go on about Covid or worry the dc about germs, beyond basic hand washing.

But occasionally he comes out with something such as wishing things were just like they were before. He quite obviously remembers and misses doing certain things.

It must be so strange for these little people to understand the ever changing 'rules', one week we can do everything, then we can't, then we can again. Not seeing their extended family for long periods of time.

It's bound to make some children anxious.

@Januaryissodull it’s so sad. The damage to the young people is beyond belief and I’m furious with myself that I stuck to the rules so rigidly. My DD is truly broken and I have a colleague with a much younger DD (5yrs) who is also hyper anxious, also related to fear of isolation from other children again.
I’m not a rule breaker at all but I’ll take prison over putting mine through this again!

Have you spoken to the SENCO at your child’s school? Ours has had training for Covid induced anxiety and when I checked the school’s policies online they have policies on it and extra funding for each child. Local well being team is also putting on Zoom webinars. Book recommended above is being recommended widely. I think you should email school and get all the help you can. Also ensure it is on his record so he gets a school place offered if there are any future lockdowns. Schools/government are aware of the issue - the services available to deal with it are being provided somewhat. It is collective trauma for sensitive children in particular.

I don't have any advice for you that others haven't already said. But I do have a 6 year old boy who has struggled with it at times. He still sometimes wears winter ski mittens, even on a hot day, so he doesn't have to touch things that might have germs on them. They also prevent him from having to put gel on his hands which he hates.

He often gets frustrated and says "when is coroni virus (our pet name for it, just feels a bit more friendly, also sometimes called Roni) finishing?"
Also "why arent the doctors sorting it out?"

I think it's been really hard on him. I read somewhere that last years reception children were one of the hardest hit year groups, and I agree with that. They got their first two terms done of learning how to sit quietly and follow simple instructions, then BOOM. Everything stopped and suddenly they are nearly year 2. My boy barely has the fine motor skills he needs because he doesn't like to draw, paint, write, craft - he needed peer pressure and another adult directing that. It makes me really sad. I was so hopeful this time last year that the government would alter the expectations they had, or change the curriculum, or repeat the school year, but I can only give a wry smile at how deluded I was. Business as usual pretty much at their state primary school.
Your DS is not alone. Maybe I am still deluded. I keep hoping that someone will sit up and take notice at some point. Surely...

Gosh this has brought back memories of my sheer terror of AIDS in the 80s.

I had no idea what it was but on TV and on posters everywhere was this message don't die of ignorance.

Being my seven year old self I knew what ignore meant so I deduced that if I didn't know what it was I would die.

My mother just brushed off any question I ever asked.

Haunts me know if ever I see the advert on a documentary.

My point is education is good, ignorance isn't

There are actually some decent animations on YouTube that address the virus very openly in a child friendly way.

I have 5 year old dd and she’s definitely understanding things in a way that she didn’t when all this started last year. She said to me that ‘the virus ruins every day’ and honestly she’s not wrong!

I have noticed that her and her friends talk about death more than they did a year ago and I think part of that is age related, they’re realising that death is a ‘thing’ and questioning it. The best you can do is keep answering questions as factually as you can, knowledge is power.

Talk to the school, I hope it’s widespread, but dd’s school are very keen to address the MH aspect of the pandemic and encourage us to speak to them. Dd is currently having counselling in school (so thankfully face to face) because her anxiety mixed with her imagination has resulted in some concerning behaviours and it’s been really helpful.

The best you can do is keep answering questions as factually as you can, knowledge is power
I honestly cannot agree more.

Also all of you on this thread deeply want to ease your child's anxiety about this which can only be good.

Some really good advice on here. I think I remember that there was a CBBC programme a while back, probably‘Operation Ouch’ which helped explain everything in a child friendly way and might provide some reassurance.

Otherwise I just wanted to express my sympathies that your DS is feeling so anxious, it must be very hard to cope with

If any of you have teenagers, the weekly videos on YouTube by Prof Tim Spector of the Zoe App are very factual and never melodramatic. This week’s was so reassuring.