Could someone please ask me to calm down..

[QuietBatPeople1]

I need a bit of a reality check- I’m very anxious about COVID and avoid going into many places. I do excercise and that’s it.
Yesterday wanted to challenge myself and went into our M&S wasn’t overly crowded but a few school kids decided that this was the local park and was running and shouting, there mum shouting at them.

Was worried I might have been exposed went for my run - then a lady I’ve not spoken to in ages spotted and stopped me for a chat. I had to stop as it’s rude not to- I did my best to stand far away from her but she kept edging forward!the conversation was about 2-3 min max

Now I feel really nervous and counting down days to see if I show symptoms- I checked the local infection rates and it looks low but I still feel nervous

Nice OP. Well done for getting out of the car. If I had a cheering squad we would be camped outside your door cheering for you (at a covid safe distance of course!). Keep going. What is the plan for tomorrow?

You're fine, calm down. Not long now until your vaccine, but you need to keep working on your anxiety. You're actually sounding better than last week, if that helps, maybe getting It's a path where you're getting steadily closer to calm.

Be careful of the tests. If you have anxiety, the testing could wind up making things worse. It's OCD type behaviour where the worry about covid is the obsession and the test would then be the compulsion - it will temporarily calm you down but at the cost of your condition worsening.

You'll start spending hours reading about how unreliable they are till they don't calm you down any more, and wanting to take a test if you've so much as taken the bins out when someone is at the opposite side of the street. I would honestly advise you to avoid them as an anxiety alleviator for your own longer-term sanity.

You’ll be fine, keep taking small steps and you will slowly get there! Such a low rate is also promising, it means there’s virtually no one with Covid in your area. Try and think about it the other way round - most people you’ll encounter do NOT have Covid. Well done and good luck going forward OP

Well done for challenging yourself, OP. It's not easy to do when the anxiety takes over, particularly after months of essentially being able to hide away from the world. It's brilliant that you've done this stuff.

You will be absolutely fine, and when you are you'll feel reassured and maybe ready to go to more places (this is how it worked for me anyway!).

Incidentally I do think that those with a record of anxiety (particularly health anxiety) should be bumped up the vaccine queue a bit. All anxiety is debilitating but HA is off the scale at the moment. The reassurance that being vaccinated brings may mean the difference between having a full (as is currently possible!) life and being unable to leave the house.

Oh, and in the kindest way possible OP, please calm down!

0-2/100,000

That's practically 0 You could probably lick everyone you see & not get Covid!

I do understand how scary it is, but make the most of it hole the numbers are low!

You did well waiting outside the car

How was your run??

CALM DOWN please....you'll feel better for it.

@AnnieAnoniMouse run was okay- when the anxiety kicks in it’s like opening the flood gates. Now I’m anxious about tested positive and going into work- I was planning to go in one day (haven’t been since last March) but feel quite shaky about it.

Today I will still try to stand out of the car for a bit longer and keep repeating to myself how low the cases are...will still try to go for my run.

Well done for going for a run! I get out of breath running the bath!! And my knee joints are fecked-completely.

I'd do a few other less difficult things befire going into the office, unless you could easily walk out & go home if you wanted to.

Maybe take DD to the play park or for a hot chocolate outside a cafe??

Well done, @QuietBatPeople1 you're doing a great thing by pushing yourself a little bit every day.

I agree with @AnnieAnoniMouse about maybe trying something that's a bit less of a step than work first.

Keep up the good work.

Hi OP, it's not at all unusual for people to have big emotions which aren't proportional to reality. Think of all the people afraid of flying, when driving to the airport is far more dangerous per mile and per minute!

Have a stock saying to tell yourself.
"Gosh I feel very anxious, but the actual chance of a real problem is absolutely miniscule".

Emotions are physical things - everything is! People like to talk as though emotions are somehow separate from the body, but of course they are not. The dead don't feel happy or sad, and anyone who's had a strong coffee with sugar knows that emotions can change pretty rapidly based on biological factors! So keep up the exercise as that helps tamp down groundless worries.

Oh and if you haven't already, switch to decaff. I found my mysterious free floating anxiety coincided with regular coffee ;)

Your anxiety is lying to you. You are doing brilliantly getting out there. I hope to be as brave as you are over the next few weeks.

I agree about the coffee.

I went into Boots today which I had been putting off.

Keep going, if you think you can get into work for one day then push yourself to try. The more you do, the more you will be able to do.

Anxiety is such a heavy weight to carry, imagine if you were only half as anxious, imagine if you pushed yourself to go to work once a week, grocery shop yourself and get out of the car at pick up and that made you half as anxious. That would be much easier to live with wouldnt it. I bet you could manage that. Give it a go for a few weeks and see how you feel....

@AnnieAnoniMouse

0-2/100,000

That's practically 0 You could probably lick everyone you see & not get Covid!

I do understand how scary it is, but make the most of it hole the numbers are low!

You did well waiting outside the car

How was your run??

I prefer to see this the other way round. Out of 100,000 people, 99,998 to 100,000 don't have Covid.

Thank you all for your responses- I still am anxious but I think it’s more that once the anxiety starts it’s like this horrible hold on you that keeps growing- I’m trying my best this time to quash it...

I’m planning to drop into my office later in the pretext of dropping something off- not urgent but it gives me a reason to think that I need to make this journey- not sure how far I’ll get but I’m trying everyday

Someone mentioned above about flights- I’m a very anxious flyer- have had multiple breakdowns. No idea how ill cope with that and I have to as family live 13 hour flight away but I’m trying to focus one one step at a time

Yes, anxiety is a HUGE load to carry and a lot of the people don’t have any time for this- my husband talks about going home as soon as the restrictions end and I just nod but inside it’s killing me- he thinks I’m just willing it to happen by thinking about anxiety- I’ve stopped trying to explain

I understand and I know how hard it is when loved ones don't get it. No one would wish to live like this. You are on a path to recovery now. Things will get easier.

How are you doing? Are you managing to challenge yourself every day?

Thank you for checking @SeaToSki

Yes I am - I went into my office for 10-15 mins in the premise of dropping some stuff. Had a full blown panic attack but I did it

Went to the local bakery and got some bread - again not comfortable but did it

These are huge steps for me and I’m taking small steps.

Today - not good as vaccination conversation came up- I think I’m quite anxious about everything and told husband I’m not sure yet or not made up mind.

Was told how I’m not in tune with the world and ‘you cannot even get into a train’ (this is also due to anxiety and associated claustrophobia) and that I’m stoping our family progressing.

Knocked me a bit as I’m fighting a huge battle but it’s so easy for someone to knock it off...but that’s fine. I’ll pick myself again tomorrow and continue to take my small steps...they are HUGE for me and if people around me don’t get that well..so be it

Nice work Quietbat. Don't get too down about your DH, it's really difficult to understand anxiety if you don't suffer (I should know, I spent years telling my DS to suck it up because I didn't understand). Do you think he would read a book about it..it might help him understand a bit more.

I am SO proud of you for going into work. And the panic attack didn't kill you 😬. So now you know you can gut your way through one and keep on going....

What is the plan for the next few days?

Wow @QuietBatPeople1 you are doing brilliantly. I'm watching you from afar in admiration and hope that I'll be able to start to take similar steps soon. By the way, my DH is as 'understanding' as yours so I get it.

Could you try hypnotherapy OP? Can be so very useful x

@QuietBatPeople1**@SeaToSki this post really resonated and @Sea your suggestions were so kind and thoughtful. It is so hard dealing with anxiety at the best of times and during the pandemic my anxiety rocketed, lots posters are pointing out some really great ideas here. Every time I put myself in what I see as a dangerous situation regarding covid I panic, I have backed out of numerous walks with friends when you could only walk with 1 person and they wanted to stretch it to 2, backed out of seeing my Mum as she couldn't be seen outside because post event I rethink and become irrational about it even though most people would not think a second thought about it. Eg I am a rule follower and feel its ok for my cleaner to come in as its allowed and for me to see my business partner and work inside together but when I visited a friend earlier in the week (as is allowed) we started outside but ended up inside in a well ventilated room because of the temperature I have re run this in my head a million times and beat myself up and tested twice even though we are both vaccinated, - agree with others testing too often is not a good idea because even when test negative you'll think its wrong!.I Like you my DH and friends don't understand and are carefree, if you don't have anxiety you dont get it. I just wanted to say you are doing a brilliant job and being very brave, I discovered Suzy Reading on instagram I really suggest taking a look at her weekly videos, they are every Monday and they always resonate with me. This weeks one was about the fear as restrictions are loosening - they may really help, they're only about 10 mins each, a few months ago there was one about catastrophising. I have been getting CBT help with my anxiety but even though I know the strategies it is hard to put in to practice in situations. Then thoughts are on overdrive and it is very difficult to stop them but maybe think this "thoughts are just words made up of a series of letters" sometimes it can ground me

Well done OP! Anxiety is so hard to get on top of but it can be done, and you’re making great progress. The only way you can start making your world bigger again is by pushing those boundaries outwards a little bit at a time, even though it feels hard. You can do it!