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Original poster

Funeral rules are inhumane.

65 replies

RaspberryCoulis · 17/04/2021 11:00

A 94 year old (vaccinated) has just lost her DH of 73 years, and has to sit socially distanced from her children, all of whom are 55+ and also presumably vaccinated, at the funeral.

It's fucking inhumane. It's inhumane whether it's the Queen or Lizzie Jones from a council estate.

OP posts:

BruceAndNosh · 17/04/2021 13:37

@RaspberryCoulis

A 94 year old (vaccinated) has just lost her DH of 73 years, and has to sit socially distanced from her children, all of whom are 55+ and also presumably vaccinated, at the funeral.

It's fucking inhumane. It's inhumane whether it's the Queen or Lizzie Jones from a council estate.

Agree. I went to the funeral of mother of my closest friend last summer, and vicar insisted that her widowed father (with dementia) had to sit on his own as he wasn't part of her household. Despite the fact that she and her siblings had been in and out of his house for weeks, caring for their dying mum.

ifonly4 · 17/04/2021 13:42

As mentioned before, surely as a single person she could bubble with the family, unless they've taken it into consideration that her household staff are effectively a household bubble.

My friend had her Mum's funeral booked when we went into lockdown first time. No one was allowed to attend and they were told they couldn't even be in the carpark to see the coffin arrive. She didn't want to get anyone in trouble, so drove there on her own and stood in the cemetery where she could see her Mum pass by at a distance. There was no funeral at all.

Exhausteddog · 17/04/2021 13:53

It was my MIL funeral last week. FIL is in a bubble with one of his children/their family.
But in the crematorium everyone sat where they wanted, it was no different from a pre covid service except that we wore masks and there were only 30 people. There was no instruction or suggestion to only sit in households and there was lots of hugging outside. Majority of people there would have had at least one, if not 2 vaccines. I think 7 out of 30 were not vaccinated. Our household had also done LF tests the night before.

Maryann1975 · 17/04/2021 13:56

I’m rather hoping that the tv broadcast doesn’t actually show the family during the service. I don’t remember cameras being on the immediate family at Diana’s funeral? At the end of it all, they are a grieving family, they don’t deserve to have the worlds media panned in on them in their worst moments.
And yes, I do think someone should be sitting with the Queen. She is a vulnerable, elderly widow, going through what must be one of the most emotional days of her life. She should not be going through that alone and nor should Lizzie Jones from the council estate. I’m a massive believer in following the rules, but sometimes the rules need to go out of the window and we need to show compassion to people in need.

Abraxan · 17/04/2021 14:01

My friend had her Mum's funeral booked when we went into lockdown first time. No one was allowed to attend and they were told they couldn't even be in the carpark to see the coffin arrive.

The car park rule was the same for FIL's funeral, also at the start of lockdown. We were allowed 10 people to the funeral itself though.

His friends stood on the pavements near their house, where the hearse was going to be driven very slowly, in order to pay their respects.

firstimemamma · 17/04/2021 14:06

Yes all of the rules are awful. I hate the idea of not being allowed to touch the coffin too. That's someone's way of saying goodbye.

Our wedding is in early June and we just had the bombshell dropped on us that we might have to cut our guest list from 16 to 4. 4! it's ridiculous.

KindleRemote · 17/04/2021 14:07

I'm glad they are doing it this way.

Plenty of families have had to sit through socially distanced and inadequate funerals over the last 12 months. Why should she be any different?!

I agree with you. I hope it helps people see how bloody horrible it is to lose someone in these circumstances.

ineedaholidaynow · 17/04/2021 14:16

Although socially distanced I think it will be nicer to have intimate family funeral than one with 800 guests, and have it pretty much how Philip would have wanted it.

I think this last year with the Queen and Philip spending so much time in Windsor Castle it will have been the most time they have been able to spend with each other (with just a few staff) since before she became Queen.

HolmeH · 17/04/2021 18:27

My grannies funeral was awful. They wouldn’t even allow households to sit together, it was ridiculous. 15 socially distanced chairs & when my Dad tried to move next to my sobbing mum, he was told to move back.

The virus is one thing but I thought the crem handled it appallingly, everyone gave my mum a massive hug afterwards as she was so upset at both her mums funeral & how we were treated.. which was probably riskier than my Dad who she lives with comforting her during the actual service 😡

lolacola77 · 17/04/2021 18:31

Oh grow up! Do you really think they won't all be mixing together privately now. They had to do that for the cameras and to gain pity points from the gullable public.

FlattestWhite · 17/04/2021 18:40

I doubt they can, as someone on the staff, eventually, would leak to the press that they'd got together.

But I agree, it's inhumane to not let people have more of a gathering than this, or to form special support bubbles for grieving.

Tealightsandd · 17/04/2021 18:46

I felt it was cruel she had to sit on her own. If only we'd done what Australia, New Zealand, South Korea, Singapore, Taiwan, Hong Kong, and Vietnam had done.

I thought she could've had a support bubble/count as vulnerable being emotionally cared for and had someone sat with her. Then I realised.

The Queen takes her duty to the country very seriously. I suspect she sat on her own to protect the country's Head of State. Motivated by her strong sense of duty, not self preservation. She is very vulnerable at her age even if she's had two vaccine doses.

Only the most mean spirited would have begrudged her having someone sat beside her, and I guess on an individual level she wouldn't have cared how vulnerable she is - but she might've felt duty bound.

ComDummings · 17/04/2021 18:46

She is probably in a bubble now but I imagine she knows how important it is for her to behave impeccably and follow the rules absolutely. I am not a fan of the RF by any means by the way, but I imagine the Queen decided she would sit alone rather than with a member of her bubble as she always makes sure she is a good example to everyone.

trappedsincesundaymorn · 17/04/2021 18:48

When we had mum's funeral...exactly a year ago today, there was only me my sister and my dad and we weren't even allowed to be with him afterwards as there was no household mixing allowed. Thankfully things had got a tiny bit better when he went in November. We could have a few people at his "wake" and we were able to have 20 people and a zoom link at his funeral.
One socially distanced funeral was bad enough but 2, that was beyond inhumane, it made our losses so much harder to bear.

MercyBooth · 17/04/2021 18:51

@Eyewhisker i assume you wernt aware of this from last October, though i suspect some on here have short memories

www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/sons-fury-coronavirus-rules-barring-22798156

MercyBooth · 17/04/2021 18:52

So stick your council estate bollocks.

LEMtheoriginal · 17/04/2021 18:55

At my DMs funeral i sat with both of my DDs, one of whom does not live at home. Very limited numbers of other family members present. Not one eyebrow was raised.

The queen is a tough old bird, sure she'll be ok

trappedsincesundaymorn · 17/04/2021 18:57

@Eyewhisker

Totally agree except that if it was Lizzie from the council estate, people would turn a blind eye to the rules and allow someone to sit beside her on compassion grounds.

Wrong....we were told by the funeral directors about the rules and we had to adhere to them as they were strictly enforced.

phodopus · 17/04/2021 19:24

Yes, they are, and it's a shame it took a high profile funeral for this to be acknowledged.

The Queen can go shopping indoors if she wants to, but she couldn't sit next to one of her own children, both vaccinated and masked, at her husband's funeral.

RedcurrantPuff · 17/04/2021 19:31

It is inhuman, why was she so far away from anyone else? She was more than 2m away.

I hope they ignored the rules afterwards and had a gathering with everyone present.

The rules make no sense. I am in Scotland where it’s only 20 at a funeral. Yet 50 can go to church.

Wheresmycider · 17/04/2021 19:32

None of her children can form a suppory bubble with the Queen as she already has a household bubble with her staff. But it would have looked even weirder had she been sat with a lady-in-waiting while the rest of the family had to keep distance.

PuzzledObserver · 17/04/2021 19:33

Can you imagine the outcry if they had ignored the rules? Whatever they do behind the walls of Windsor Castle, they have to be seen to stick to the rules in public.

Re she’s vaccinated and so are her four children.... if that is taken into account in allowing them to mingle, then we’re into the 2-tier society which many people are arguing so passionately about vis a vis Covid certificates.

You can’t win, really.

RedcurrantPuff · 17/04/2021 19:34

Mind you I am firmly of the opinion pretty much all the rules should be fucked off now anyway. They are all ridiculous, just that this one is particularly cruel

Original poster

RaspberryCoulis · 17/04/2021 19:36

@RedcurrantPuff

Mind you I am firmly of the opinion pretty much all the rules should be fucked off now anyway. They are all ridiculous, just that this one is particularly cruel

I totally agree, @RedcurrantPuff. I think the scenes from the funeral today will have been a real "WTF are we doing to people" moment for lots of people.

OP posts:

Maggiesfarm · 17/04/2021 19:37

@RaspberryCoulis

A 94 year old (vaccinated) has just lost her DH of 73 years, and has to sit socially distanced from her children, all of whom are 55+ and also presumably vaccinated, at the funeral.

It's fucking inhumane. It's inhumane whether it's the Queen or Lizzie Jones from a council estate.

The Queen wasn't that far away from her family and no doubt they got together a bit more closely afterwards.

Imagine the furore if they'd all been jumbled up together and putting arms round her.

She did what was right and it was all quite dignified and moving.

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