I've fallen off the positive wagon

[CovidLethargy]

For the past few days, I just haven't been able to motivate myself to do anything.

I have been pretty good all lockdown. I've kept to the rules, worked as a key worker p/t and I have used the time wisely. I've studied, upskilled myself in a number of areas, got fit and healthy, and lost a stone.

This past week though I just don't feel I can do this anymore. I think it has coincided with the Easter school holidays. Before, when my DC were at school we had routine and structure and I would drop them off, get on with what I had to do and do a hardcore workout. For the past 2 weeks, I have done no exercise and for the last 4 days I've pigged out on takeaways, chocolate, and wine. There is hardly anything open to do and my DC are just stuck indoors playing video games.

Today is just boring. Nothing is open and there is nowhere to go. My family lives 300 miles away and they are all getting together (breaking the rules!) and having a nice BBQ. Here DC1 is in their room, other DC is in there's, DH is having a snooze on the sofa and I just went to my room and sat by the window and cried, had a snooze hoping I wouldn't wake up again, and then ate my whole Easter egg.

I am just so f*cking bored. When is this shit going to end? I feel like I could stick a pin in my leg and feel nothing.

Sorry for the whinge. I am looking forward to 7pm so I can drown in a bottle of wine.

Get back on it, in 2 weeks shops and pub gardens will be open! I'm counting down the days.

I know how you feel, all my neighbours have family around. All our family are busy seeing immediate family, so we haven’t even been invited anywhere. I do see my brother who is in our bubble, but I live with DH and 2 adult DS’s. One of them is going fishing with a friend tomorrow. Never thought I would be jealous of someone going fishing.

I know how you feel OP!

I am feeling generally fed up too. We have all had colds and so we cancelled seeing family on Good Friday and also today as we felt that in the current climate, meeting people when you’re snotty isn’t a great idea.

Hubby worked yesterday and will be at work tomorrow so it doesn’t feel like a long weekend to us and I’ll be entertaining an 8 year old all on my own which I’ve spent most of this last year doing.

I thought I had lots of friends and a good social life but no-one has invited me to get together since the rule of 6 came in.

To top it off, our boiler broke down this week so our house is freezing cold and the plumber that came to look at it keeps telling us the part hasn’t come in and has now gone silent on us.

Oh and hubby has taken himself off to bed with a migraine this afternoon!

Is it bedtime yet?!!!!

And I know there are worse things one could be experiencing right now but I think it’s important and valid to feel fed up sometimes & vent!

I fell off the good mental health wagon! 39yrs of content and now this horrible scary illness.

But feck it, we'll be grand shortly hopefully.

I’m right there with you OP. Finally fed up. It’s sunny here but not very warm. Nothing is open. The highlight of the day was a hot cross bun.

I know how you feel @CovidLethargy

I feel the same today

It's just wanky shit bollocks.

I feel so much better after saying that

@CovidLethargy. Have you started on the wine already?

I am not cooking tonight, so we’re having a takeaway. No wine in fridge as DH is on antibiotics for ear infection and I forgot to put any in.

@CovidLethargy

It's just wanky shit bollocks.

I feel so much better after saying that

Love it! 😂

I have started on the wine. Currently cooking a roast so it’s justified in my mind!

I’m a bit the same.

I have a break from work which I haven’t had in ages, & I just feel I’ve been in a bad mood all weekend because I’m not making the most of the time off.
When I’m working & DS is at school there’s structure and things that have to be done. It’s almost like I can’t cope with being in control of my time! Feel like I spend a lot of time deciding what to do.

I've just had a toasty for dinner.

Oof me too

I think being endlessly positive isn’t actually that healthy.

It’s good to listen to your body, not force it to exercise in spite of yourself.
It’s good to recognise that you’re bored, good to recognise things are shit.

Let yourself wallow for a bit, why not?! You sound mentally healthy enough to get bored of that after a while and you’ll fancy being productive again

(I also find my ‘down' periods coincide with especially hormonal times of the month, so I just accept it because ive learned it won’t last forever)

Great post ThursdayLastWeek.

I think in general it’s useful to try to be positive. But it can be bloody hard work. Sometimes you need a wallow. Sometimes the way things line up just feels so unfair and you shouldn’t have to pretend they’re not. You’re a human being not a Stepford robot. Don’t beat yourself up over having negative emotions. We are in a fucking pandemic and the rational reaction is to be so so sick of it x

Some days are definitely harder than others and a good cry is often needed. I hope you are feeling better this morning