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Covid

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Original poster

Vaccine and family behaviour differences

44 replies

Onthedowns · 31/03/2021 07:21

I know I am but being irrational.

Out of my family of siblings etc 9 adults, 7 have been vaccinated only 2 over 60s. SIL 35 working from home all year not sure why she was called no known health issues, BIL 31 working from home over a year again no known health issues. DSIS and DB are NHS so completely understand.

I know it's good for the greater population and the sooner everyone gets jabbed the better. However I am emergency service, 40 in a crowded office (already had large outbreak of covid) and no jab now I until May earliest due to 'lumpy' delays. We have primary school age children too. I do have a chronic health issue that treatment has been delayed for over a year on the NHS but its not life limiting etc

The crux of the issue is now my family feel its OK to have a big Easter meet up including kids it will be 12 of them. We were invited but will decline I know it's, outside etc but we have been the more sensible ones whole way through. They have been mixing whole way through under the guise of various bubbles including a Christmas meet up which was only cancelled due to Boris.

Anyone esle struggling with superhuman families? I get made to feel the bad person for trying to be sensible. My kids seem to suffer too as they miss their cousins who they know meet up.

It's hard to be rational and sensible these days and I want to get out of lockdown as much as anyone.

How do you with family divisions manage

OP posts:

middleager · 31/03/2021 15:55

Yup, same here, 48 and DS 47, but rest are vaccinated. Not to mention we have two teens in different schools, mixing.

I know people are saying "it's outside" but the toilets aren't and as people drink and socialise then they get closer.

Don't worry, I'm a killjoy too!

middleager · 31/03/2021 15:55

DH 47, not DS!

IloveJKRowling · 31/03/2021 15:59

YANBU OP - you're doing the right thing and you're right.

The kids haven't been vaccinated and go to different schools - if one of them has it, they can spread it among the lot and then on to you.

Whilst kids do seem to transmit less that's more than offset by the fact that they spend 6 hours a day in a small classroom inside with 30 others without masks.

Also, they are breaking the law and outdoors is low risk not no risk.

IloveJKRowling · 31/03/2021 16:04

Also I think the fact that they're willing to break the rules to hold this party (even though outside) suggests that now they're vaccinated they're willing to break the rules in general. What happens if it rains and they all go inside? Would you feel pressured into following?

How do you know they haven't been mixing indoors for the run up to this event? They clearly don't care about your health.

I get that it's hard for your kids and it is unfair. The unfairness is coming from your family though. They're not being very nice to you.

StarCat2020 · 31/03/2021 16:06

I get that it's hard for your kids and it is unfair. The unfairness is coming from your family though. They're not being very nice to you
I agree, totally.

Original poster

Onthedowns · 31/03/2021 16:11

@IloveJKRowling

How do you know they haven't been mixing indoors for the run up to this event? They clearly don't care about your health.

I get that it's hard for your kids and it is unfair. The unfairness is coming from your family though. They're not being very nice to you.

Yes they have been mixing indoors under the guise of childcare bubbles but mixing them. My parents have been at the house today to help with decorating etc 🤷🏼‍♀️. But then also help my other sister who is a single parent so I don't begrudge that.

OP posts:

IloveJKRowling · 31/03/2021 16:12

Also, it's this sort of behaviour that is - if we're unlucky - end up with a variant that evades the vaccines.

Itsalonghaul · 31/03/2021 16:34

It is outside so I will be less bothered if I am honest, I wouldn't use the loos and go for an hour. In the park you would have people near you outside walking past all of the time and it is relatively safe.

Make sure your children use sanitiser and go along for a short time, or don't and stay at home, but you can't be cross about it.

We are coming out of lockdown now, soon people will be eating outside in pubs, having treatments and mixing in sports etc.

You are young, your risks are minimal, but it is up to you.

StarCat2020 · 31/03/2021 16:40

they have been mixing indoors under the guise of childcare bubbles but mixing them
I wouldn't be able to not say something to make a point about this so perhaps it is karma that I haven't got family to see?

Original poster

Onthedowns · 31/03/2021 16:58

@StarCat2020

they have been mixing indoors under the guise of childcare bubbles but mixing them I wouldn't be able to not say something to make a point about this so perhaps it is karma that I haven't got family to see?

I struggle to keep it in 🙈

OP posts:

Original poster

Onthedowns · 31/03/2021 16:59

@Itsalonghaul

Make sure your children use sanitiser and go along for a short time, or don't and stay at home, but you can't be cross about it.

We are coming out of lockdown now, soon people will be eating outside in pubs, having treatments and mixing in sports etc.

You are young, your risks are minimal, but it is up to you.

It's also the numbers issue I am concerned it only takes one neighbour to get the arse and I work in said service

OP posts:

StarCat2020 · 31/03/2021 17:03

I struggle to keep it in
I struggled keeping it in so much and then I gave in and called your mean family already and put them straight so you don't have to!!

(Joking)

Msmcc1212 · 31/03/2021 18:09

I’m so sorry OP. This sucks!! Like PPs have said, you are right to feel upset about this and not want to go. I wouldn’t go and I’d probably feel obliged to be honest why - it’s against the guidelines put in place to get us out of this mess collectively.

We have had similar with some family meeting indoors for spurious childcare reasons - putting grandparents at risk for no good reason. It’s infuriating and upsetting.

It’s not about individual risk. It’s about keeping going for just a little bit longer so that the vaccine has the best chance of being so successful and we can come out of lockdown sooner.

I do feel that the vast majority are doing their bit but it’s so depressing when some people decide that their wishes to socialise override their responsibility to others. Asymptotic spread is why we have stuck to the rules. I could accidentally pass it on without even knowing. I want to look back and know I did what I could.

If you don’t go you are role modelling socially responsible behaviour and the stories you tell your grandchildren can be filled with pride that you did the right thing.

Outdoors is a LOT safer, especially in sunshine, but there have been cases of it being spread outdoors and children playing together is definitely a risk. We have had bad colds every time our DC started back at school despite SD in school.

Original poster

Onthedowns · 31/03/2021 18:55

@Msmcc1212

We have had similar with some family meeting indoors for spurious childcare reasons - putting grandparents at risk for no good reason. It’s infuriating and upsetting.

It’s not about individual risk. It’s about keeping going for just a little bit longer so that the vaccine has the best chance of being so successful and we can come out of lockdown sooner.

If you don’t go you are role modelling socially responsible behaviour and the stories you tell your grandchildren can be filled with pride that you did the right thing.

This is how I think keep going a bit longer my mental health is shot through working schooling health. But I categorically do not want to go backwards. Its now been put forward it's less than 20 per 100k. So I am being unreasonable

OP posts:

LovePoppy · 31/03/2021 19:03

@Kendodd

Yanbu OP People should show solidarity with younger unvaccinated people even just for fairness sake. I feel the same about older people wanting vaccine passports so they can now go on holiday. Just wait until young people are done as well. Considering how much young people have suffered and sacrificed and will be paying for their lifetime, largely for the benefit of the elderly, it would be so wrong if the elderly just waved them goodbye and went on holiday while the young were unable to go anywhere. This situation with your relatives is similar.

Don’t mention that on gransnet To listen to many of them talk, they’ve been the most hard done by and they deserve to do what they want.

We are selfish for daring to suggest we locked down to protect them

Original poster

Onthedowns · 01/04/2021 17:18

I can imagine. Really difficult situation I just do no want to go bsck into any lockdown

OP posts:

poppycat10 · 01/04/2021 17:22

16 people is too many. Toilets not an issue but if people drink they will definitely start hugging and kissing by the end.

And then they will get loud, a neighbour will notice and report them.

The rules change again on April 12th, can't people wait another couple of weeks?

Original poster

Onthedowns · 01/04/2021 17:51

@poppycat10

16 people is too many. Toilets not an issue but if people drink they will definitely start hugging and kissing by the end.

And then they will get loud, a neighbour will notice and report them.

The rules change again on April 12th, can't people wait another couple of weeks?

That is already happening between them and the children. Children are obviously harder to social distance from each other. Apparent one neighbour is OK but even so 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP posts:

Original poster

Onthedowns · 01/04/2021 17:54

@poppycat10

16 people is too many. Toilets not an issue but if people drink they will definitely start hugging and kissing by the end.

And then they will get loud, a neighbour will notice and report them.

The rules change again on April 12th, can't people wait another couple of weeks?

Are the 6 outside rules changing I can't see?

OP posts:

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