AIBU to report a neighbour for keeping his DC out of school?

[Rainallnight]

Two girls who live across the road from us are still at home, after schools have gone back.

I asked one of them if something was up and she said her dad was keeping them off because ‘so many kids have tested positive for coronavirus’.

They are early secondary school age.

The dad has people popping in and out of his house all the time, so he can’t be that worried about it.

I’m really sad on their behalf. Should I report him? Or just leave it, because their school will obviously know they’re not there?

Report it to whom?

The school?
"Hey school, do you know you're missing two kids?"
"No, we had NO idea they weren't here, thank god you mentioned it to us, we'd never have noticed"

The police
"Hey police, my neighbour has two kids not in school"
"Thanks we'll let the school know"

Or do you have visions of police cars screeching up outside, surrounding your neighbour and demanding he send the girls out or they'll open fire....

You don't need to report it because, as others have said, the school will already be totally on it.

I think it will be very obvious to the school that there are 2 pupils missing

My children were kept off for longer then some other children last year and we had a very good reason as to why we kept them home. I would be very angry if some neighbour who doesn’t know us or why we were all at home reported me.

Schools have registration periods.
Registers are also marked at every lesson.
The school will know that the girls aren’t there and will have procedures to follow.
Keep your nose out op.

Step away from the curtain twitching and keep your nose out of business that doesn't concern you!
As other pp have said school will obviously be aware the girls aren't in school and if it needs reporting to any authorities then the school will do so

My DC’s school are perfectly happy for parents to keep children at home for now even if the reason is just one of anxiety. As almost everybody has already said, the school will know.

'Should I report him?'
No
AIBU?
Yes

This post has made me grumpy, people are unbelievably nosey now.

If you think these children are being harmed then report to nspcc. But actually, if this person is 'well known' as a petty criminal then the police will know the family, and the school already knows the children are not attending.

You're not going to help by reporting imo.

To be fair it’s useful to ring school

If they are hanging round the streets etc and he’s having visitors then that doesn’t bode well if he’s used the health/anxiety excuse.

So worth mentioning it and they’re at home for a genuine reason it won’t matter

'To be fair it’s useful to ring school'
Well it's wasting their time but crack on if that's your bag.

Jeezus!
Personally I think he’s doing the right thing.

I pulled high school DD out of school in October and am now home educating her. I'd be fucking livid if someone did this to me. If there are no signs of abuse/neglect then mind your own bloody business!

Going against the grain here because poor attendance at school can be one flag of many in a situation where there's potential safeguarding concerns. The school will know they're absent but if there's lots of comings and goings from the house and the children aren't at school then that information might be relevant.

Put it this way, if there's no concerns and everything is above board then nothing will happen, and if there are already concerns then your information might help be one part of the jigsaw that keeps a child safe.

On Mumsnet though the general consensus seems to be that unless you hear screaming or see physical abuse then you should mind your own business.

Reporting them being off school is pointless because the school and LEA are presumably aware there are no being schooled already. Possibly there are also taking action...who knows.

Of course if you have a wider concern for their well-being or safety then you should make a referral to social care.

@LolaSmiles

Going against the grain here because poor attendance at school can be one flag of many in a situation where there's potential safeguarding concerns. The school will know they're absent but if there's lots of comings and goings from the house and the children aren't at school then that information might be relevant.

Put it this way, if there's no concerns and everything is above board then nothing will happen, and if there are already concerns then your information might help be one part of the jigsaw that keeps a child safe.

On Mumsnet though the general consensus seems to be that unless you hear screaming or see physical abuse then you should mind your own business.

Yes, you should mind your own bloody business about things like visitors unless there is some evidence or sign something is untoward

Absolutely terrifying how many people think their imagination is grounds to report.

Honestly you have nothing to loose and may sleep better. Call, be done with worrying about it.

@fallfallfall

Honestly you have nothing to loose and may sleep better. Call, be done with worrying about it.

yes, because the op matters more than the people she's reporting.

This is not a good enough reason.

Keep your nose out!

Why is everybody so obsessed with reporting people to the state these days? We aren’t in China, your social credit score won’t go up.

Mind your business!!

It's got literally NOTHING to do with you AND the school will already be aware so a report to CS is unnecessary!

Parents are fully within their rights to off-roll their children and homeschool full time at any point. This, also, is nothing to do with CS!

For all you know those girls could have been miserable at school due to bullying or not receiving enough support in lessons and could be absolutely flying at home, as many kids have in lockdown. There are many online schools now, some with better Ofsted reports than mainstream.

Stop being so feckin nosey!!

Absolutely terrifying how many people think their imagination is grounds to report
The OP isn't imagining things. She's said some children aren't attending school and they don't appear to be well looked after. We don't know what she means by not well looked after, but it's bothering her and I'm going to guess her threshold isn't 'was seen wearing a dirty pair of socks and didn't have nearly braided hair'.

If she tells school her concerns and there's no wider concerns about the children then nothing will happen. If she tells school her concerns and the children are already known to the safeguarding lead, staff have already logged safeguarding concerns, the safeguarding lead is aware of other multi agency support etc then the OP's observations might be relevant.

I find it more terrifying how many people on here have the attitude towards safeguarding of don't say anything and mind your own business, unless you see a child being physically abused or they look in a truly terrible way. It's almost like some people can't comprehend that the horrific cases of neglect don't get that way overnight. Still, it's probably best everyone ignores their concerns about child welfare because it's not the end of the world if a child ends up in a horrible neglect case because their neighbours didn't want to be accused of being curtain twitchers who should mind their own business. What does it matter if vigilant neighbours sharing concerns could have made a difference to that child's situation?

@LolaSmiles I'm not listening to half-baked lectures on this, I have relevant experience.

You need to be able to articulate what specifically is the concern. If you can't, you haven't got a concern, you just have imaginings.

@LolaSmiles I'm not listening to half-baked lectures on this, I have relevant experience.
You need to be able to articulate what specifically is the concern. If you can't, you haven't got a concern, you just have imaginings
I also have experience.
The OP has said that she has concerns they are not well looked after.

Nobody can say from that whether she is imagining things or not. It could be that she's got a bee in her bonnet and one day it looks like they've not brushed their hair. In that case she hasn't got grounds for concern. It could equally be that over time she's seen several things that don't sit right with her and leave her concerned.

People piling on her telling her to mind her own business, stop curtain twitching, you're just imagining things isn't helpful. The dominant attitude to safeguarding on many threads here is always to turn a blind eye and say nothing unless it looks serious. Maybe if more people shared concerns when they have them, we'd have fewer serious cases.

the girls have always seemed not terribly well looked after was the only comment.

If you really have experience @LolaSmiles, maybe you could usefully explain to the op and other people reading what would be genuine grounds for concern?

The fact they are off school is known. The fact he is a criminal is apparently well known. The fact there are visitors is not grounds for reporting unless something specific about the visitors is observed.

What is it with everyone wanting to report everyone. They might have a reason for not sending them.