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I feel like I’m waiting to fall ill

46 replies

QuietBatPeople1 · 12/03/2021 22:10

And it’s tiring. I struggle with anxiety and the past year hasn’t helped. My daughter started school on Monday which I’m happy about but very very anxious as well. Now I wake up everyday thinking ‘today will be the day Covid enters our house’ - I’ve followed/follow every rule- but now it feels silly as I’ll catch it eventually from my daughter.

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QuietBatPeople1 · 19/03/2021 15:37

@ssd have been actively avoiding news and other social media (Twitter etc) for months now. I log onto mumsnet when it gets too much and need somewhere to download. Even when on mumsnet avoid reading too many threads under the COVID topic

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ragged · 19/03/2021 16:11

One minute it us all about under 40s are not in as much risk next minute the ICU is full of under 40s!

ICU has never been full of under 40s, or even under 50s, not for COVID anyway.
75% of people in critical care for covid are age 51+, and that is steady % since pandemic began in Britain.

Source= ICNARC reports for England, Wales & NI

Keep in mind few Critical care patients are age 80+, they aren't strong enough to take the difficult treatment.

I feel like I’m waiting to fall ill
middleager · 19/03/2021 16:20

I feel the same because
I have 2 at 2 secondaries
They are in high risk areas
I'm 48 and obese, not vaccinated
One child did bring Covid home and it was exhausting trying to avoid it.

middleager · 19/03/2021 16:22

This isn't just about ICU either.
I'd quite like not to have long term side effects that would affect health, work and mortgage.

XiCi · 19/03/2021 17:03

But again middleager the chances of suffering long term effects are tiny as well. We're just bombarded daily with worst case scenarios which cause so much unnecessary stress and anxiety

ssd · 19/03/2021 17:15

[quote QuietBatPeople1]@ssd have been actively avoiding news and other social media (Twitter etc) for months now. I log onto mumsnet when it gets too much and need somewhere to download. Even when on mumsnet avoid reading too many threads under the COVID topic[/quote]
You sound more disciplined than me. I'm my own worst enemy sometimes.

Rainbowsandstorms · 20/03/2021 07:16

It’s so hard living with health anxiety as your mind always goes to worst case. I’ve felt very similar over the last year. Are you aware of the lateral flow tests for parents of primary aged children? They are designed to pick up asymptomatic cases. They aren’t hugely sensitive so a negative doesn’t mean you don’t have the virus as they miss 40 percent of positive cases but they may help to add a bit of reassurance for you.

QuietBatPeople1 · 21/03/2021 10:03

It did very hard. Yes I have considered getting some LFTs and will look into that today.

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ssd · 21/03/2021 10:40

@QuietBatPeople1

It did very hard. Yes I have considered getting some LFTs and will look into that today.
Yes, dh got some through his work, we haven't used them but its reassuring to know they are there.
QuietBatPeople1 · 21/03/2021 11:00

Thanks @ssd. Just located a hub where they are handing out LFTs to parents. Planning on going for a walk that way and pick some up

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ssd · 21/03/2021 11:09

Thats good. I sort of feel better knowing they are in the house. I don't think I'll use them much, but I might just test now and then. Its better than nothing.

namechange63524 · 22/03/2021 02:28

It is exhausting. I would find it less exhausting if there was less gaslighting. There is a risk. All kids and their parents will not be fine. Kids do spread it. School set up does make many people feel like sitting ducks. Those are facts. Minimising these and pretending they don't exist inflames my anxiety. I'd rather personally, the risks were acknowledged and then talked about rationally.

duffeldaisy · 22/03/2021 05:54

“ I would find it less exhausting if there was less gaslighting. There is a risk. All kids and their parents will not be fine. Kids do spread it. School set up does make many people feel like sitting ducks”

This.
I know exactly how you feel OP. I’ve found this a struggle, considered even deregistering, I’ve been that concerned (high case area).

Yes, I’m actively working on not catastrophising because that is something I do have a tendency to do. But it’s much worse when people are “Everything’s fine. Covid’s just like a sniffle for almost everyone” when I have friends who have lost a parent to it, and a friend who was hospitalised.

It feels like being in a war zone and people telling you not to worry about bombs because they’ll probably bounce right off you.

I know the advice is often to switch off from social media/news, but I do find following the detailed stats each day helps. It’s reassuring to see the vaccinated numbers go up every day, knowing that in 2 weeks time, all those people are way less likely to spread the virus, so the risk drops and drops.
I don’t think I’ll be able to relax much until I am at that stage too, and it is so, so tiring. I was so upset when the 40+ were told we have to wait, and I won’t fully relax until the children are vaccinated too. But we are through the worst now, and while I also have the fear of being one of the unfortunate ones to catch it before vaccination, I do keep telling myself that the odds are growing in our favour every single day.

ssd · 22/03/2021 07:18

If it helps, I heard on BBC Scotland news yesterday that 17 million doses of moderna are coming here in April. From what I've been reading on mn, England are doing really well with the vaccine and some under 50s are getting it now.

namechange63524 · 22/03/2021 10:30

@duffeldaisy agree with this.
"But it’s much worse when people are “Everything’s fine. Covid’s just like a sniffle for almost everyone” when I have friends who have lost a parent to it, and a friend who was hospitalised." It's also the pictures in the media of what schools look like - if there's no risk, why such blatant lies? It's the "only affects people with underlying conditions" even if those conditions would not normally shorten their lifespan and hundreds of thousands of people have them, it's "all vulnerable have been vaccinated" when they haven't! It doesn't need to be either doom/gloom or head in sand - just basic acknowledgement of some real risks eg long covid, the risk to kids mental health knowing they could bring covid back to a vulnerable parent, the risk of seeking medical attention and catching covid, the teacher stats over nine months when for 6 of those majority of pupils weren't in school etc etc. The blatant lies just make it ten times worse.

Say instead something like "in an ideal world we would put x measures in place, we had to make a difficult choice between a rota system where kids could distance or all kids in at the same time, we feel all kids in at the same time is best. The risk to kids is x, risk of long covid is y, kids can spread it though, if you're vulnerable and do not want your child in school at this point, fair enough."

polelynn · 24/03/2021 15:20

How are you doing OP?

QuietBatPeople1 · 24/03/2021 18:55

Thank you for checking @polelynn. I feel very jittery if I’m honest. My daughter having a sneeze fest today since I picked her up from school and although I know sneezing is not a symptom I just feel this is the beginning of something. I haven’t seen my family for 2 years now and miss them a whole lot. I rang my mum today and just spoke to her just in case I end up in the hospital atleast I got a chance to speak to her. I didn’t say that to her, just spoke some nonsense to her.

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polelynn · 25/03/2021 08:09

@QuietBatPeople1 I understand and I'm thinking of you Thanks.

QuietBatPeople1 · 25/03/2021 08:59

Thank you @polelynn - you are very kind to be so understanding of my irrational thoughts.

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polelynn · 25/03/2021 09:07

Yes in a sense they are irrational but these feelings do have a strong element of reality and truth to them. I prefer to see them as an over heightened response (due to anxiety) to keeping myself and my loved ones safe. I'm waiting for CBT which I hope will help me dampen mine down. In the meantime I try to be more fatalistic about things and not ruminate too much but it is hard.

QuietBatPeople1 · 28/03/2021 15:38

Hope you are well @polelynn

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