Reassurance after reading this

[makinganavalon]

www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/uk-wales-56349455

The above news article is something I've always been afraid of. My baby was 8 months at start of lockdown and we saw other people every day before then. We have seen a hugely limited amount of people since last march, and she's now 19 months, getting more and more terrified of people and is struggling to communicate. I've tried my best but have had no support from friends or family as I've recently moved to the area. I have worked hard at making new friends and have succeeded but my daughter has sorely missed out and I'm scared this will impact the rest of her life. Struggling to go on today. My mental health at and all time low. How can I be what she needs when this anxiety is eating me up? Its a vicious cycle

@Beaniecats

It’s only catastrophic if that’s what we’re going to keep telling our young people:

You’re behind
You need to catch up
You need recovery
You’re part of a lost generation
Your GCSE grades aren’t going to be taken seriously
You’re at a disadvantage
Your mental health is suffering

All of the above is the real catastrophe. Parents, media, adults who promote these types of views are the biggest barrier to our children just getting on with their normal life, which was simply temporarily disrupted by a once in a century pandemic.

If it’s any consolation DS (now 4 and a few months) spent the majority of his first 14 months travelling Europe in a campervan. He only had me and his dad for company. We enjoy peace and quiet so spent the majority of our trip wild camping in isolated mountainous spots, walking, swimming, climbing and cycling. We only really saw people when we shopped. On return home I couldn’t stand toddler groups, just not my thing, so he’d mainly get plonked in my bike trailer or sling and we’d go out for long walks or rides with picnics. Both our families live abroad, there isn’t anyone local. We both socialised with our friends minus DS (we took it in turns). So pretty much the only contact he had was with his dad and I until he was almost 3.

He started play school when he was almost 3 - this was the first extensive/ regular contact he’d had with anyone other than his dad and I. Obviously he’d bump in to and interact and play with others in parks and so on, but no different to now. He only did 2.5 days a week in term time. He wasn’t there that long before it all shut for the first lockdown. He then returned in September - he LOVES it, he gets excited about going, chatters about the staff and other children and what he’s done.

DS is a very confident, sociable, very well adjusted, super chilled and a total chatterbox. He doesn’t stop chatting or questioning things. He’s only really formed friendships over the past 6 months or so (but I thought that was pretty normal for his age?). There’s never been anything that has struck me as odd or made me feel he was behind or missing out.

Obviously he’s older than yours... but we did the isolation-y type thing by accident really. My DS really hasn’t suffered and there’s nothing that has ever worried me or his dad about his behaviour or development (his dad is a child protection social worker so very switched on to ‘normal.’)

Obviously every child is different. Likewise every parent is different. If he’d have been school age I would have been really worried!! I think when they’re so little the most important thing is being loved and given attention/ interacted with and having a super strong attachment with parent/s. Likewise parent/s attitude, mood and health is super important. I totally get that this utter shite will have had a huge impact on my latter point though.... I think that is far more worrying for small children (any age child!) than a lack of toddler groups, classes and socialisation.

@Acesulfame

I have a 6 month old and I didn’t think that lockdown would affect her. However, as my in laws have now been vaccinated we’ve created a childcare bubble with them and it’s clear I was wrong. Baby cries her eyes out every time she is left alone with them unless I’m within her line of sight. She occasionally forgets that I’m not there but the minute she realises she becomes distressed. I don’t know if this is normal but can’t help thinking only really seeing me and DP has contributed to it.

Mine did that until they were at least old! And they saw lots of people regularly - your baby sounds fine and that kind of behaviour is normal :)

Thanks everyone for your replies. I know that there wasn't toddler groups in the past but there was walking down a busy high street and popping to different friends and family for a cuppa. these things would have made a difference. But it has helped to know that there was somewhat less in the past and everyone was fine. Also everyone's experience have been so helpful. I do think the fact my mental health has seriously slipped may be what's worrying me too, I can't be all she needs but I am all she's has for the whole day until husband home from work.

[quote Totallyfedup1979]@Beaniecats

It’s only catastrophic if that’s what we’re going to keep telling our young people:

You’re behind
You need to catch up
You need recovery
You’re part of a lost generation
Your GCSE grades aren’t going to be taken seriously
You’re at a disadvantage
Your mental health is suffering

All of the above is the real catastrophe. Parents, media, adults who promote these types of views are the biggest barrier to our children just getting on with their normal life, which was simply temporarily disrupted by a once in a century pandemic.[/quote]
Yes, people telling young people things is the catastrophe, not the year-long enforced isolation, lack of education, destruction of the economy and decimation of future prospects. You keep telling yourself that.