Feeling shamed for school case

[sequinednostrils]

My ds in yr 3 went back to school on Monday. He went in excited and fit as a fiddle. I got a call near home time to pick up early as he'd coughed a few times. Picked up, no cough Andre felt fine. But went to get him tested anyway. It was positive even though he wasn't ill.
So of course his whole class have to go home and isolate. Parents are annoyed and kids are sad.
Some are saying it's my fault for letting him go to school.
I am now feeling ill and have it, on top of worrying about people blaming me.

@sequinednostrils

I've only just found out about the lateral flow tests, the school aren't advising parents should test. It's not well known among the parents here. *@IEat* they don't, but they're on Facebook saying how whoever it was shouldn't have been allowed to go in.

It's all over the news.

You shouldn’t feel guilty nor should anyone be gross. He caught Covid from someone else. Wishing you all the best. I’m week 5 of covid x

@ItsMarch

Sorry OP but if a child in my DC’s class was sent home for coughing and then tested positive I’d be annoyed!

I know it’s irrational but the suspicion would obviously be there that you sent them in anyway.

Like others have said, it will all be forgotten in a couple of weeks.

But she clearly states he wasn't coughing before school, how was she suppose to know!

But she clearly states he wasn't coughing before school, how was she suppose to know

Could just have easily been caught from the teacher , hell even the kid of kid of parents dishing out blame could have been ground zero.

Coughs and colds haven't been eradicated just cos we have covid. People can't go round blaming every kid with a runny nose when they could have caught it in asda ...

Do all areas have lateral flow test centres now then? I'm in the NW so we've had them for ages. Or can parents order home tests?

"Could just have easily been caught from the teacher"
All teachers are doing lateral flow tests twice a week, so unlikely.

Point was it could have been anyone.

I dont get this trying to pin point blame. Many are asymptomatic. Everyone looking at the kid who coughed once when it could easily have been someone else.

Op said herself he probably got it at school . Quite possibly off the.kid of one of the parents gassing about her kid...

"The advice is for parents of primary kids to do them to themselves. Not the kids."

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz I know. That's why I asked OP if she'd done one before they went back to school.

"No they aren't testing primary"

Parents of primary aged kids should be testing twice a week. This has been very well publicised, it's been on the news, it's on the government website.

You can go to your nearest testing centre and get a box for each adult in your household.

We tested on Sunday night and then again tonight and will continue to do so.

I'd be pretty annoyed at having to isolate because the parents didn't bother taking 2 minutes to do a test.

www.gov.uk/guidance/rapid-lateral-flow-testing-for-households-and-bubbles-of-school-pupils-and-staff

Focus on you and your son and getting better.
Unfortunately a lot of information that was initially stated was that it was only people who broke the rules who caught covid, or its only caught by people's selfish behaviour etc etc. So many people have clug onto this idea that they then blame others for simply getting a highly contagious disease.

The govt has never been clear that small airborne particles can build up in poorly ventilated areas or the high number of asystomatic people.
So people point the finger and blame others!

Try not to take it personally and just ignore it all.

@Whatwouldscullydo

But she clearly states he wasn't coughing before school, how was she suppose to know

Could just have easily been caught from the teacher , hell even the kid of kid of parents dishing out blame could have been ground zero.

Coughs and colds haven't been eradicated just cos we have covid. People can't go round blaming every kid with a runny nose when they could have caught it in asda ...

Yep. Blame the teacher

If the cough definitely wasn’t there this morning and you have been following all the rules why would you feel guilty?

Lots do send in sick children sadly or send them in when the household is meant to be isolating etc.

The parents aren't angry at you, they're annoyed they have their kids back which is understandable and they're just looking for someone to blame, which we all do in stressful situations. They know really that you didn't do anything on purpose and hopefully their kids and anyone involved can be tested and go back to normal ASAP.

Focus on looking after yourself, stay hydrated and keep your energy up as much as you can.

Do you have arrangements for food deliveries?

Hope you're both okay and get through this quickly

Ohfgs I wouldn't blame anyone. Its a school. It's gonna happen. Only thoughts that have ever gone through my head when we have had to isolate through either kids or staff testing positive are that I hope everyone's OK.

I'd rather keep my kids home permanently than turn into someone who looks for the first person to pin the blame on. No one knows who they got it from most the time. Ajd never will.

Other parents are being arseholes. Frustrating yes but they have known for months this is the process. Hardly your fault. Hope you and DS feel better soon

@ItsMarch

Sorry OP but if a child in my DC’s class was sent home for coughing and then tested positive I’d be annoyed!

I know it’s irrational but the suspicion would obviously be there that you sent them in anyway.

Like others have said, it will all be forgotten in a couple of weeks.

Well I'd have a long think about that irrational reaction you would have because your instincts are obviously deeply unkind....I can't imagine not giving anyone the benefit of the doubt in this kind of case. But your post does rather demonstrate how many people jump straight to judgment. This pandemic has truly exposed some awful thoughts people have simmering u def the surface

You have my sympathies OP, you've done nothing wrong. Surely your son could even have caught it from another child who had no symptoms? I hope you both make a speedy recovery and am sure that once everyone has got over the initial frustration and disappointment it won't seem so bad.

starbrightstarlight8888

Depends on your authority. Ours are refusing to give them to families with only primary children despite the national guidance.

Erm... coughing is a symptom yeah

Hmm if I tested every time I coughed I'd be testing every day or so!

I didn't know primary school kids were meant to be having tests (my son is Y13 and has had two at college).

At the moment, the government have raised this expectation that schools are safe, kids rarely contract the virus, schools are going to stay open etc.

As a result, the first few disruptions are going to be subject to a certain amount of finger pointing and blame.

As these events increase in number, people will adjust and stop looking to blame someone.

@RuleWithAWoodenFoot

as he'd coughed a few times

even though he wasn't ill

Erm... coughing is a symptom yeah?

It's clearly not your fault he has it, but you should have had him tested if he's coughing.

Erm... coughing is a symptom yeah?

Technically, no it isn't unless it's a PERSISTANT cough.

If schools want parents to be taking the tests they should tell them.

We have had NOTHING about tests from our primary school.

You say it's on the news but I don't watch the news (cos it's fucking depressing!) I only read about it on here.

I also don't make a habit of reading updates on the school website. I actually wonder if our school don't agree with it and that's why there has been no communication.

OP I hope you feel better soon and your son let's you get some rest. Try and avoid Facebook if it's upsetting you (I would be upset too)

*government website, not school website

@ItsMarch

Sorry OP but if a child in my DC’s class was sent home for coughing and then tested positive I’d be annoyed!

I know it’s irrational but the suspicion would obviously be there that you sent them in anyway.

Like others have said, it will all be forgotten in a couple of weeks.

At least you acknowledge it's irrational!

We had a child come in one morning and was as right as rain. Produced a marvellous piece of writing considering they'd been off since Xmas holidays.

After lunch they looked flushed and I assumed they run around lots with friends glad to be back.

10 minutes after being side still looked flushed so asked how they felt. Fine. I was called at this point as first aider for opinion and I said check temp as under risk assessment we could suspect temp. Temp confirmed, sent home and tested positive.

Temp had gone following day. It lasted literally 5 hours!

Whole class isolating but sadly as I had full PPE and not close contact I'm still in. I'm just doing LFT daily as we agreed and I'm vaccinated so hopefully wouldn't catch it now anyway (and I had it last March!)

I don't know anyone who has taken the lateral flow tests. And my friends are quite cautious. The gov page is v easy to misinterpret.