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Covid

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Original poster

Needle-phobic, but clinically vulnerable, parent is refusing the vaccine

24 replies

aworrieddaughter · 09/03/2021 18:23

I live with my parents. One of my parents is clinically vulnerable due to several risk factors. They have quite extreme health anxiety and are very needle phobic. I think they have not received any kind of vaccination since childhood. They avoid going to the GP, refuse blood tests, etc.

Because they are CV/group 6 they are now entitled to their vaccine but, as I expected, they are refusing to book it. I completely understand their fears and deep down I knew this would happen when the vaccines started to be rolled out. I have gently tried to point out how quick and painless a vaccine is compared to how awful COVID can be, how I could try and could go in with them when getting the vaccine done, how vaccinators would be used to dealing with needle-phobic patients, etc but they just flat out refuse.

I completely accept their decision but at the same time I am terrified of bringing COVID home. I work full-time out of the house and I'm constantly around people. I don't know how I would be able to live with myself if I passed COVID onto my parent.

I just need to accept it don't I?

OP posts:

ChameleonClara · 09/03/2021 18:28

Oh how worrying! Sadly phobias are phobias so rational conversations don't usually help.

Would they try any hypnotherapy or similar?

I guess you will have to be a bit careful around them but what can you do once society opens up?

Very hard when you can't help people you love

sweetkitty · 09/03/2021 18:42

My Dad is a bit like this keeps going on about needles BUT he has also been ignoring lockdown rules, going into peoples houses etc. He should be shielding as well but he’s 66 and an adult what can you do??

Bobbiepin · 09/03/2021 18:45

To be honest I would go hardline and stop seeing them. Tell them you can't deal with the thought of potentially killing them by bringing covid home so wont come round until they have the vaccination or the whole country opens up. They'll decide what is more important.

XenoBitch · 09/03/2021 18:47

I am the same as your parent, OP. People saying how quick or painless getting the vaccine is wont help, and of course will depend on what in particular they are phobic about anyway. For some, it is the pain, others it is about the lack of control.
I did read that a nasal spray is being worked on which might be a solution at some point.

rosie1959 · 09/03/2021 19:02

I suppose if you are needle phobic it must be so hard I used to be years ago but after multiple blood tests when I was pregnant I worked out in my head it was totally unnecessary to be afraid of something you hardly feel. I have caused more pain stubbing my toe. The vaccine I didn’t notice it at all and wondered had they actually done it
Funny my daughter doesn’t like someone else doing it she is diabetic and has injected 4 times a day since she was eight and would much rather do it herself

GCAcademic · 09/03/2021 19:36

I second the hypnotherapy suggestion. It hasn’t cured me of my needle phobia entirely but I can at least get through the procedure.

superduster · 09/03/2021 19:40

I'm currently having CBT for needle phobia. It's free on the NHS in my area, not that much of a waiting list here either.

goose1964 · 09/03/2021 19:42

My son's the same ,he's been prescribed diazepam to take half an hour before his jab.

user1149254825482534232 · 09/03/2021 19:45

@Bobbiepin

The op lives with them.

whenwoulditkickin · 09/03/2021 20:44

Phobic or not, it’s possible to get the job done.

I was severely phobic of blood tests, it once took 2 hours for me to put my arm out and I fainted 3 times during the same visit. Once before, once immediately after, and once in the car park. Still had it though.

I would continue to hammer the point home. If they get Covid and end up in hospital they’ll have more than one needle coming at them, and repeatedly, too!

XenoBitch · 09/03/2021 20:46

@whenwoulditkickin

Phobic or not, it’s possible to get the job done.

I would continue to hammer the point home. If they get Covid and end up in hospital they’ll have more than one needle coming at them, and repeatedly, too!

Not all phobic people faint. I wish I did. Fight or flight comes out instead. I m glad you got over it but not every one else will find it so easy... and it depends on how phobic they are, and why. If it is due to a previous traumatic experience, "just doing it" wont cut.

whenwoulditkickin · 09/03/2021 20:53

@XenoBitch Mine was due to a traumatic car accident when I was 3 years old.

Completely understand not everyone will be able to “just do it” but I do think if you go over what could happen if they didn’t have the jab (several needles in hospital) it might be a bit more persuasive an argument to just have the 1 needle.

When I was scared of needles I used to imagine that it was a ball of cotton wool with betadine or some other antiseptic, a bit stingy but just the surface. It helped.

partyatthepalace · 09/03/2021 21:01

I would keep saying it like a broken record, but otherwise not much that you can do, and if they do end up with it it will be their fault not yours.

XenoBitch · 09/03/2021 21:02

@partyatthepalace

I would keep saying it like a broken record, but otherwise not much that you can do, and if they do end up with it it will be their fault not yours.

That really is not how you treat a phobia.

SunInTheSkyYouKnowHowIFeel · 09/03/2021 21:05

Could a GP prescribe some kind of drug to take the morning of the jab? Not sure if it's even a thing but you could ask? Just something to take the edge off the day?

8MinutesToSunrise · 09/03/2021 21:05

Speak to your GP surgery. We have a specialist hub locally which has been set up specifically to vaccinate need phobic patients

Original poster

aworrieddaughter · 09/03/2021 21:08

Yes I live with him so not seeing him isn't an option. I have accepted that he would prefer to live with the risk of COVID rather than being vaccinated. It's not a nice thing to accept as obviously I would prefer all my loved ones to be vaccinated but I can't force him. It's now more the guilt I would have as I'm the only one in our household who has to leave the house to go out to work, everyone else is currently working from home so any route of entry would most likely be via me. He is nearly 60, overweight, male and has type two diabetes and hypertension. I don't think I could live with myself if I brought COVID home to him.

I think he doesn't understand his risk and I know telling him plainly wouldn't help persuade him to get vaccinated, it would just increase his anxiety. He did have a referral for therapy for his needle phobia but he refused to do it.

OP posts:

whenwoulditkickin · 09/03/2021 21:16

@aworrieddaughter This must be so hard for you.

Does he not get blood tests to check his diabetic control? How did he get diagnosed if he refuses bloods?

Others will disagree but I’d sit him down and have a serious heart to heart about it. To hell with his “anxiety” for now, he needs to know his Covid risk if he doesn’t.

Macaroni46 · 09/03/2021 21:16

I think you have to accept his decision and carry on with your life. It's really tough on you but at the end of the day it is his decision not to pursue the therapy which might help him address the needle phobia.

Original poster

aworrieddaughter · 09/03/2021 21:23

@whenwoulditkickin He can just about tolerate doing the finger prick himself for the blood glucose monitor so his diagnosis was based on that.

My sister has tried talking to him too but he just gets really defensive and annoyed so I think there's nothing more we can really do or say...

OP posts:

CorianderBee · 09/03/2021 21:29

Phobias are incredibly difficult. I'm also a fainter at blood/needles etc and it's like I literally can't control the fear. I tel myself it's illy and to just get it done but I start shaking violently and feel just bloodcurdling panic.

He likely refused therapy because it's generally exposure that's used to treat it. So being put into a state of fear constantly every time you go sounds horrendous.

Sadly, it's his decision if he deals with it or not.

mumwon · 09/03/2021 21:33

please op tell them this
I hate injections with a passion but the coronavirus vaccine both dh & I had (different times & settings please note!) we both asked the same question "have you done it yet?" & they had - it was painless -a little local sensitive area developed on the vax site later (not with dh!) but even that was only noticeable when I turned over on it. DH was vaxed by nurse I was done by dr (Oxford & from what I have heard the Pfizer is the same)

HSHorror · 09/03/2021 22:45

For my dc to have an operation she had a premed to sedate her a bit as she would have fought the anaesthetic.

Bobbiepin · 16/03/2021 22:08

Ah sorry, I missed that you live with him. It's a horrible position he's putting you in. Systematic desensitization is a very effective treatment for phobias but again will only work if he does the work.

If nothing else, have a frank conversation so he understands the position that he is putting you in, and the guilt that you would carry if you brought it home. Help him to understand your point of view; I can't suggest anything else.

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