Are people really still not aware of that support bubbles are allowed?

[RockingMyFiftiesNot]

I didn't see my elderly widowed Mum early on in lockdown, as she lives too far away to have popped by to say hello on the doorstep. Since support bubbles have been introduced, I've travelled a couple of hours south to see her every few weeks, as there are no restrictions on distance for support bubbles.

In the last couple of weeks, I've had 2 different people challenge me on this, one quite unpleasantly expressing disgust that I think it's ok to break the law by travelling so far during lockdown : another more bemused that i would visit as I am 'a saddo that doesn't usually like breaking rules'. Neither seemed to believe me when I explained it was allowed.

I appreciate that there have been lots of changes in rules/laws but support bubbles have been in place for what 9 months? I'm not sure why this has annoyed me so much, but a week or so on I'm still a bit rattled by being slagged off when not doing anything wrong. Especially as I am following the rules and not seeing some of my adult children other than for one on one walks.

Posting only to get it off my chest as it's annoyed me way more than it should!

It’s because people tend to make up the rules they think exist rather than actually reading what the rules are.

Take the number of people who think you can have any number of “bubbles” with anyone. I’m sure that most of those people genuinely think it’s OK.

Some people are idiots, sadly there'll always be one.

Just ignore them. I think some people get jealous about support bubbles and would rather those of us who live alone be confined to months of solitude.

@CovidPostingName

Some people are idiots, sadly there'll always be one.

I agree - I think it was encountering two in a short space of time that got to me.

It’s because people tend to make up the rules they think exist rather than actually reading what the rules are

Too true, we've seen too much of this on MN.

Take the number of people who think you can have any number of “bubbles” with anyone. I’m sure that most of those people genuinely think it’s OK.

Indeed.

Travelling for care was always allowed. The support bubble rule did suggest local but there is no law that says it has to be. Whether travelling to your mothers house is an essential journey is between you and your conscience.

Support bubbles rules have been abused by many hence people being a bit cross that you can see your mother and they can't see theirs

@HarrietOh yes, I'll be eternally grateful that I've not been on my own and feel very sorry for those who are. Am surprised at those who don't get it. I know someone else who spouts 'just because you can, doesn't mean you should' at all sorts of things like going for a walk with one other person or going anywhere really.

We have the same. My dad is I his mid 80s and on his own two hours away. We have always gone to pick him up to come and stay for a long weekend every 6 weeks, and we have always had people sticking their beaks in saying we shouldn't be doing it (I've had it on MN a lot).

He has no one local, I'm his only living family.

Oh yes, I've had the "just because you can doesn't mean you should" trotter out to me on here. Well, it's either that or have him constantly threaten suicide down the phone so I'll take a bit a criticism to keep my own mental health intact.

Travelling for care was always allowed.
Yes, but as she was able to physically care for herself, I felt it wasn't essential and I didn't want to risk passing anything on to her. However, had I known then what a devastating impact those three months would have had on her, I would have travelled for care.

The support bubble rule did suggest local but there is no law that says it has to be.
Quite

Whether travelling to your mothers house is an essential journey is between you and your conscience.
Having seen the impact of isolation on her, my conscience is absolutely clear, other than feeling guilty about not seeing her during the first lockdown.

Support bubbles rules have been abused by many hence people being a bit cross that you can see your mother and they can't see theirs
Possibly, but then express frustration rather than erroneously accuse someone of law breaking. But you're right, we're all dealing with different stuff, hence venting on here rather than getting cross with the people who upset me.

@Fuckadoodledoooo that sounds so hard, he's so lucky to have you x

You just have to glance down the list of thread titles on this board to see just how little some people seem to understand about the rules.
People will come on and ask things that have been in place for months,

They will get all kinds of replies many of which are incorrect and end up non the wiser.

If people would just keep to the official sources, eg the government website, NHS etc they would be a whole lot more informed.

The trend however seems to be ask on a random forum or facebook etc and get lots of replies from equally ill informed people.

The amount of people that seem to not even realise that all the regulations are published on the government website is staggering.

You're absolutely right @rainbowunicorn. Someone on our local FB group asked at the weekend if Card Factory had closed down as it hadn't been open for ages. You can't make it up.

I have a child under one born during lockdown and being able to see another adult has been a lifesaver and I really think without it I would have developed PND. DH works out of the house all day. I have seen people on here say they think it’s ridiculous and shouldn’t be allowed. I assume many of these people have children. Having a baby at a time you can see family and friends, go to baby groups, mooch around shops is very different to being stuck inside alone with a baby for hours and hours a day. I am really disgusted by the behaviour of people during covid, wanting to act like the Stasi, wanting us all sat at home miserable.

@TitusPullo I'm so glad you are able to have a support network, such a special time for new parents but also one where you are potentially vulnerable if not supported.
I am all for following the COVID rules that are there for good reasons so object to being chastised when following the rules!

My friend is planning on driving from Wales to Yorkshire on Thursday, her daughter gave birth on Sunday, after 4 days of labour, ending in a forceps delivery and a significant loss of blood, absolutely she needs support from her mum, yet other friends have said she is wrong to do so and she's very worried about being stopped!
I've advised her to print out legislation from the gov.uk website.

I am in a support bubble with my partner, he is an hour away from me. He had had lots of abuse and people even ringing his landlord to report me coming over. Residents are gossiping and saying I shouldn't be coming over etc. They need to get their facts right before giving people abuse and reporting. How do they know peoples circumstances. They should mind their own business

Yes, we have had this too. People get stressed.

@rainbowunicorn

You just have to glance down the list of thread titles on this board to see just how little some people seem to understand about the rules. People will come on and ask things that have been in place for months,

They will get all kinds of replies many of which are incorrect and end up non the wiser.

If people would just keep to the official sources, eg the government website, NHS etc they would be a whole lot more informed.

The trend however seems to be ask on a random forum or facebook etc and get lots of replies from equally ill informed people.

The amount of people that seem to not even realise that all the regulations are published on the government website is staggering.

"If people would just keep to the official sources, eg the government website, NHS etc they would be a whole lot more informed."

LOL

I think you mean MISinformed. The government have churned out so much that's been utterly wrong about covid it's been a joke!

I still remember reading the NHS page on it with horror last Spring when it was directly contradicting most of what The WHO had been saying for weeks including false comparisons with flu and that it wasn't spread in aerosols so if you washed your hands you were safe. It took them months to catch up and correct it.

Then you have things like shielding - apparently during the peak of the second wave it was still SAFE for people who were shielding, but strangely as the peak started to decline in January, they finally decided to ask people to shield again. Following the science.... just a few months out of date.

On rules though, yes I'd concur with you, but that's the problem. When people lose confidence with the official sources, they stop reading them.

People seem to be selective on the bubble front, with many ignoring what the rules actually are.

This means that those who have zero interest in following the rules read the rules and tie themselves in knots trying to justify all their socialising as 'support bubbles', but there's others who ignore the rules for exemptions and support bubbles and become unpleasant for those who can have bubbles within the law.

Thanks @RockingMyFiftiesNot - I too understand and respect the rules, our support bubble is actually a person who lives alone and we are her only support bubble. Hasn’t stopped a couple of neighbours who have mentioned my regular visitor to me whilst standing about a foot away from each other gossiping. I am very much of the opinion that you make sure you are doing things correctly and leave other people to it. It’s not up to us to police others even if we know the rules.

@Confuzzlediddled

My friend is planning on driving from Wales to Yorkshire on Thursday, her daughter gave birth on Sunday, after 4 days of labour, ending in a forceps delivery and a significant loss of blood, absolutely she needs support from her mum, yet other friends have said she is wrong to do so and she's very worried about being stopped! I've advised her to print out legislation from the gov.uk website.

If in any doubt/worried, ring the police first.

@NaughtyNell

I am in a support bubble with my partner, he is an hour away from me. He had had lots of abuse and people even ringing his landlord to report me coming over. Residents are gossiping and saying I shouldn't be coming over etc. They need to get their facts right before giving people abuse and reporting. How do they know peoples circumstances. They should mind their own business

You get a lot of that.

I know from a friend on the force that people were ringing up during the first lockdown complaining about neighbours going out for exercise TWICE in one day. Or reporting "assaults" because someone had jogged past them at less than 2m.

Please don’t ring the police, they have enough to deal with without giving the advice on individual circumstances. One force also can’t tell you how another force will react.

What you’ve done with your MIL is fine as providing a support bubble to someone in a single household (assuming she doesn’t have another support bubble).

It does drive me mad when people make up their own completely fictitious bubbles though. DHs family do this (adult couples) and proudly announce when they are socialising together indoors that they are in each other’s bubble - no you are not!! Well not in any legally allowed bubble at any rate! If they do actually think they are in a legitimate bubble they are stupid.