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Can I travel to take care of my dad?

13 replies

OobieDoo · 06/03/2021 09:19

My dad was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's. He lives alone and has got to the point that he's struggling to look after himself. My sister is in a bubble with him and has been doing as much as she can but she has two children and a job so she can't do everything he needs. We're waiting for him to get a care needs assessment but in the meantime he needs someone to make sure he's eating and taking his medication, to clean the house, to shop for him, etc.

I'm currently on maternity leave but I live 200 miles away. I've been homeschooling my DS (5) for the past couple of months so travelling hasn't been an option but with the schools going back next week I can leave DS and DH at home and go and stay with my dad (obviously I'd have to take 10 month old DD with me). But would this actually be allowed? The rules around travelling to provide care are a bit vague and I obviously don't want to get a visit from the police. Should I get permission from his GP first?

My dad and I have both had our first dose vaccine so we're a low risk to each other.

OP posts:
Suzi888 · 06/03/2021 09:21

I would go, quite frankly stuff the rules. I’m not sure a GP could make that call in any case. It’s a medical emergency, on that basis I’d be going.

Blacktothepink · 06/03/2021 09:23

I’m sure caring duties are permitted and even if they weren’t I would still go.

RainingBatsAndFrogs · 06/03/2021 09:25

Yes you can go.

LemonRoses · 06/03/2021 09:27

Go

weaselwords · 06/03/2021 09:29

Just go. My family is having to do the same today.

ChocOrange1 · 06/03/2021 09:29

I definitely would go

Mindymomo · 06/03/2021 09:33

Yes, caring for someone vulnerable is allowed.

OobieDoo · 06/03/2021 09:59

Thanks everyone.

OP posts:
BunnyRuddington · 06/03/2021 10:50

Yes you are allowed to go. We have a similar situation where we are going to visit an elderly relative who is terminal.

If you're not already on there you might find the Elderly Parents Section useful and I'd get in touch with the Admiral Helpine and talk through how to help your DF and how you are feeling about his diagnosis.

Has you DF given you or your DSis POA? If not you may want to think about applying for guardianship now that he's been diagnosed.

Has he got a SW? If you haven't already spoken to them, I would give them a call on Monday to see what the estimate is on getting him a care assessment.

Good luck, it sounds like a very difficult situation for all of you Thanks

BunnyRuddington · 06/03/2021 10:51

One last thing, if he hasn't hit attendance allowance you can apply for that now, it will help to pay for his Carers, cleaner and gardener.

bumblingbovine49 · 06/03/2021 10:55

My colleague is travelling to another country to look after her father for a couple of months after he has an operation. If that is allowed ( and it rightly is allowed ) then you can definitely do the same in this country

Unsure33 · 06/03/2021 12:23

Yes it is allowed . Just check the government website .

Azuretwist · 06/03/2021 18:13

I would have thought so.
With an elderly relative,grandparent, we managed to get ( pay for obviously) carers in 3 times a day, so medicines were taken/three meals a day provided ( Wiltshire farm meals heated or soup/toast or cereal type meals) and a shower once a week. It has really reduced the stress during these lockdowns and a big distance and children at home.

Hope you can get whatever support you need sorted.

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