Irrational fears about vaccine & OCD *potential trigger*

[Changeisconstant]

I'm really scared about having the vaccine. I had covid in February and have recovered well. My husband and I are both HCPs although I'm currently on maternity leave but ordinarily would be front line caring for high risk patients and cArrying out high risk procedures so by the time I go back to work I really need to have had the vaccination.

My DM, DF & DH have all had theirs, DH had the worst reaction (high temp, bad headache) but otherwise everyone's been fine. I'm currently breastfeeding our youngest who is almost 5 months. I am terrified of having the vaccination. I've managed to convince myself that I'll be the one person who has a really bad reaction to it and dies, I don't know why I'm feeling like this as I have been all for vaccinating, both my children have all their vaccinations, I have the flu jab every year etc.

I'm not sure if it's my OCD taking on a health theme which it never really has before but all day I'm trying to convince myself to book in to have it but every time this little voice stops me saying what if you have a stroke and die.
I don't want to tell anyone because I know I'm being ridiculous.
I don't even know what I'm asking for by posting. Other people experiences of the vaccination? Or if anyone has been in the same position as me and what helped you overcome the fear?

Fears like yours are very real and frightening, so I get where you are coming from. I think because there's been just so much talk about Covid and vaccination it's enough to make anyone suffer anxiety.

The probability of dying or having a stroke after having the jab are miniscule. Really tiny. I think it would probably help to talk your fears through with your GP, that might help?

I've been thinking maybe I should phone the GP, i don't even know what I'd say to the receptionist though.
I don't know why I've fixated on having a stroke.
I really want to have the vaccination and I do have the tools from CBT to overcome my fears I just can't seem to use them right now.

I felt like this. I thought I was going to be the one in a billion that drops dead straight after the jab. I wound myself up so much that whilst in the 15 minute observation room I started to feel a panic attack coming on, and as the blood rushed to my head and my heart started racing, I just knew it was the vaccine about to kill me.

Yet, here I am. 1 week later and absolutely fine.