General attitude to lockdown effect on disabled mental health

[Disillusioned4now]

As a disabled person I am beginning to struggle with the general population (and mumsnet) attitude to lockdown. Whilst I understand that it is a huge adjustment and not a nice experience to have usual life curtailed for so long, it is upsetting to see how difficult people are finding it.

Lockdown has not massively changed my life, although I do seem to have deteriorated, as my illness has meant for years that I am unable to do what I want and leave the house, even when things are open. I am lucky if I am able to have a shower and go for a ten minute walk each day. It is often a real struggle and sometimes I can’t even manage to watch TV so as you can imagine life can be rather dull. I had just started coming to terms with this and learning to appreciate ‘little victories’ but now with lockdown and everyone’s negativity it’s really getting me down. I see people complaining that they are so bored of their local park and going for family walks for an hour every day. I just want you to know that I would kill to be able to do that. I’ve not managed to get to my local park in 5 months now.

I’m not quite sure why I’m posting. It’s just getting frustrating to read so many people finding lockdown life so horrendously unbearable that they have to break the rules etc, when their lives are still richer than mine. Makes me feel like mine isn’t worth living sometimes. I understand that this is hard for everyone and people use mumsnet to vent. Maybe it will just remind people to be thankful for what they do have and focus on the positive in difficult times. There’s always somebody worse off. And I know there are people much worse off than me. Let’s all remember to be grateful for what we can do and do have.

I'm really sorry you are feeling like this.

As far as I'm concerned, lockdown life is still very much worth living. Yes, there are lots of things that I miss, and I'm worried about money because I've lost my job, but I always look for the positives and have discovered new ways of using my time and connecting with people instead. The rest of my family is the same, and so are most of my friends.

There are lots of reasons for the posts on here about how terrible everything is. Some people just like to complain. Some are putting on a brave face for friends and family, so need a safe space in which to vent. Others have experienced very little adversity in their lives to date, and are lacking in resilience and adaptability in this new situation. Some people are ideologically opposed to lockdown, and therefore choose to make a big deal about how awful it is. Some had pre-existing mental health conditions which have been exacerbated by the pandemic. And some people are genuinely just having a shit time because they're stuck at home in abusive relationships, have lost their jobs or whatever.

It must be galling to see people complaining about how bored they are with the things that you would love to be able to do, but please don't let that take away from your enjoyment of the little victories in your daily life. They are important and they are meaningful. I am grateful every day for my health and that of my family, for being able to go for beautiful walks near my house, and for the little things which brighten up my days, like baking, a zoom call with a friend or listening to an audio book.

I hear you and you have my utmost sympathies.

However, this type of thing has always been the case with human beings - we don’t appreciate what we’ve got (til it’s gone). And as you said there is always someone worse off than you.

It’s therefore generally not wise to turn it into a completion.

Some people do now appreciate their lives more because of lockdown and just maybe will have more respect and empathy for people like yourself.

I think @MNnicknameforCVthreads has described it very eloquently.

@Disillusioned4now I'm sorry for how you're feeling and that things are so difficult for you.

I suppose another aspect of this is none of us know what's around the corner, and to be deprived of 'living' whilst we have the chance is horrible for people. With all the will in the world, we can't change the fact that for some people, their health means they don't get to fully enjoy all the things that other people do. People would love to be able to change this but it's obviously not possible.

Perhaps mentally I'm not well, well tbh I'm not. I managed to escape an abusive relationship and had around 18 months of freedom before the first lockdown, which took away all the things that were getting me through the difficult times and made me feel like I was 'living' again.

I hope you manage to have lots of little victories OP 💐