Those of us with family/friends at a distance have been forgotten again

[Thecoppertree]

My family and close friends live too far away to visit for the day and we have a toddler so the journey would be unbearable as it’s 4 hours there and 4 hours back.
I thought overnight stays with one household or bubble would be permitted by Easter, but I’m reading/hearing possibly June?! So that means I won’t see my family until then. There is an option to meet somewhere halfway, but as my parents don’t drive and they have physical limitations on getting around, it would be difficult to organise. I just feel gutted that everyone is feeling happy about the rule of 6 outdoors in parks and gardens, but those of us who don’t have family/friends nearby have nothing to look forward to.
Sorry for the downer post, but it’s making me feel really sad.

Just go and they can tell any nosy neighbours that you’ve come from france and are staying with them for quarantine if you’re happy to mostly stay put. It’s time people were allowed to see their family, live their lives and make their own risk assessment. The NHS, the elderly and vulnerable have been protected so everything they’ve asked for has been done.

I agree OP. We're not as far but wouldn't go just for a day as the children need a bit of time to settle down etc once arrived - we'd be getting ready to return just as they were feeling relaxed (even in normal times we only go to my parents' house 2 or 3 times a year). They're getting elderly and I worry about the journey for them.

What annoys me is that lots of people are meeting with grandparents even during this lockdown, bending the rules to go on family walks or seeing them as part of a support or childcare bubble, when they aren't really needed for childcare, but no chance of doing anything like that if you don't live close to relatives.

I worry about the journey for my parents, obviously!

Same for me 200 miles. Today has broken me. Not seen them since August as we went into a higher tier and then couldn't do Christmas. At Christmas was had the promise of Easter and now we've lost that hope too. I feel horrendous and just utterly fed up. Anyone who has been able to do doorstep visits etc just doesn't get it .

@Lostinacloud

Just go and they can tell any nosy neighbours that you’ve come from france and are staying with them for quarantine if you’re happy to mostly stay put. It’s time people were allowed to see their family, live their lives and make their own risk assessment. The NHS, the elderly and vulnerable have been protected so everything they’ve asked for has been done.

The vulnerable haven’t yet all been done. There’s still a few more million to go.

@Lostinacloud apart from that, I agree with your post.

Tbh we will be visiting the relatives that have been vaccinated, in thier homes early in the Easter holidays anyway. I'm sick of putting other people above my children.

I’ve just seen this on twitter though, from the political editor of the times:

twitter.com/steven_swinford/status/1363801237586669569?s=21

He seems to think self catering within the UK will be allowed by April? But obviously no one knows at the moment.

Just go. Its hardly enforced. A year is crazy OP. If you're happy and your parents are happy go for a long weekend who would know?

aliloandabanana

I have found that too, funnily enough those with a childcare bubble in my circle of friends seem to be the most vocal about keeping schools closed because they don't have to worry about homeschooling thier own children.

In the same boat, OP. DD is five now and hasn’t seen my parents since she was three. Very sadly, she’s an only child with no cousins. Her isolation is absolutely heartbreaking to see.

Halfway is still a three hour drive for both parties, which my father couldn’t manage at his age. My mother grew up in London and never learnt to drive - a helplessness that’s infuriating but seems typical of her generation.

Very grateful that DD is old enough to manage the journey this summer (we have already booked a cottage nearby), and thankful for technology that allows everyone to Facetime in the meantime.

If we all survive the pandemic I am going to give serious thought to relocating.

@twelly

I think we should allow people to make their own choices that way people can assess their risk. The virus will not go away and like everything we do there is a risk. Staying with relatives is not so dissimilar to meeting friends

This!! I work from home alone, exercise outside (mostly or can be alone), shop online, and my parents are retired and now vaccinated. The risk of either of us catching it from each other is next to none but it's illegal for me to travel to see them. I guess the problem is that you give some people an inch and they take a mile and a large proportion of the population lacks any form of basic common sense.

[quote Thecoppertree]@Reallybadidea I think they should allow air b&bs and self contained holiday accommodation to open so people can stay nearby and visit their families/friends outdoors if they live a distance away.[/quote]
If Airbnb will have us I'm just going to do it. We could bubble with my mum and stay in her house but we haven't done that to minimise the risk. I don't see why self contained accommodation is a problem

Make your own personal risk assessment. Have they been vaccinated?

The rules won’t be enforced so it’s up to you. Are we going to look back and say we were pleased we didn’t see vaccinated family? Life is too short to not see close family for a year. The don’t kill granny message doesn’t really have any impact now because it’s not true.

The government is prioritising the economy. Not family meetings. I think come Easter compliance will be low.

You haven’t been forgotten. They just can’t lift everything at once. It’s not like ‘you will never be allowed to stay overnight anywhere ever again because they forgot to lift that restriction’.

@twelly

I think we should allow people to make their own choices that way people can assess their risk. The virus will not go away and like everything we do there is a risk. Staying with relatives is not so dissimilar to meeting friends

Agree. Especially if both parties don't get out much - an overnighter is hardly going to make much difference to the spread of a virus in the scheme of things.

One could argue that an overnighter (eg a family staying over at another family house) is safer than meeting 'half way' as they needn't be any interaction outside of the housing. It would be like two family households bubbling short term.

OP, it sucks and it isn't logical, especially given the rollout of vaccines etc.

@Dee1975

You haven’t been forgotten. They just can’t lift everything at once. It’s not like ‘you will never be allowed to stay overnight anywhere ever again because they forgot to lift that restriction’.

Why can't they lift more restrictions at once? I'm guessing there is still the dreaded masks and distancing in lots of places too. When will this be dropped? When will things go back to normal? When will we be able to live our lives without fear of 'breaking covid rules'?

And why the heck is everyone so accepting?!

It looks like one of the last things that will lift. The government do not care about families meeting up indoors. It doesn’t make them any money so will be June most likely.

I don’t that’s acceptable to most people.

Okay, well if they don't drive could they take a train? I went on a train last week and it was empty!

It's extremely annoying that a no-second-homes or cottages rule, widely accepted to be in place to stop everyone overwhelming Cornwall and the Lake District for example, also means no AirBnB stays to visit my family in a very average, non-destination town.

Obviously there is no way of differentiating but it doesn't mean I can't be annoyed!

My cousin in law has taken her 2 year old child on a plane for a holiday to Italy yesterday. She’s been having play dates with other children and I'm assuming that she’s getting away with it because she’s going to visit family. I actually thought it was illegal to travel during lockdown. She’s just posted a photo of the two year old and 4 other children playing in the bedroom. I haven’t seen my family for months and they live 1 hour away.

I'm in the same boat but it is what it is. We're at the whim of a pandemic; we haven't been 'forgotten'. Things have to progress slowly so they can monitor the effect. We're nearly out the other side; we've just got to get on with it. a 'poor me' attitude is going to help nobody.

Im wondering why that is allowed.

I'm surprised that people are so obedient, even though all this is causing misery and depression. I've always worked on the basis that if I'm free of covid then I can't pass it on, so I just take a test if I want to visit family. (I am in a support bubble and a separate childcare bubble anyway so strictly speaking it's legal). And now I've had my first dose of vaccination, it'll be even safer. I know I'll get flamed for this, but I just think people's mental health is important.