Will things going back to normal make you realise there will never be a normal again...

[november90]

And how do you feel about it?

My husband left me during my pregnancy with out second child, completely out of the blue, just and so pre first lockdown. He's been horrendously emotionally abusive during this mess, it's been so tough. Although I've had that to struggle through, I honestly feel like I've coped with our relationship ending really well and I can honestly say I have no feelings or remorse about it coming to end anymore.... maybe because he's been such a horrible stranger to me!
Anyway my point of this thread is I can help but have this horrible feeling that as things ease and "go back to normal".... it's going to hit me like a bus that I'll never have my normal and I'm worried I'm going to have to deal with it all again! Does this make sense? Anyone else been through something traumatic and feel the same? I cannot wait for the lockdowns to lift and for everyone to move on, but I'm just worried about how that might feel 😬

Ok the title of your thread I thought meant will you feel normal when lockdowns lift as it's unlikely for society to just rebound back to how we all were but with your specific circumstances that changes the question somewhat.

You are emerging into a new normal regardless of if everyone else emerges right back where they left off.

But in answer, without such a life changing event but changing events nonetheless, I think many will emerge as altered, at the very least, a little once society reopens. I hope most are altered for their better. Only time will tell.

I have a friend whose DH upped and left just before lockdown 1. She said lockdown and Covid have been a useful distraction in a way. I think she'll feel the way you do when things do return to normal. But I am hopeful it will be a new beginning for her in a lot of ways too.
Perhaps you will feel the same?

Sorry you've had a crappy time of it @november90. I guess what you're likely to experience is yes, emerging from lockdown into a doubly unfamiliar landscape. You will have had expectations of life with your ex and your baby, and it sounds like these have all taken a beating this last year.
So: be gentle on yourself. Try not to pre-judge things where possible. Stay open-minded to how things might go and where life might take you.
Keep breathing.