Someone please talk me down :(

[fireflylanegirls]

I suffer with terrible anxiety around Covid 😔

I became a fist time mum last year and I’ve barely left my house much.

I go for walks with my son but just recently I’ve even struggled with that.

A few days ago I plucked up the courage to ask a an old work friend if she wanted to go for a walk.
Sh’s not someone I would frequently see prior to having my son, but she had a baby 6 months ago so I figured she might like some company too.

I briefly told her about my anxiety and that it would be nice to meet up.

She told me she’d been feeling the same and hadn’t been out much.

We met yesterday and went to a local park.

It was quite busy but I managed to stay calm and try to enjoy some company.

As we got towards the end of my walk, my friend told me she is seeing her family tomorrow.

She said “I know I shouldn’t, but I tested positive for a Covid 3 months ago, so I don’t see the reason to not see my family now”

She told me she’s been seeing her family regularly.

I’m panicking so much now that I’ve been around her.

We distanced on our walk but there were definitely some occasions where we weren’t quite 2m apart, more like 1.5m or maybe 1.

We were never face to face always side by side.

I feel physically sick now and I didn’t even sleep last night for worrying.

She messaged me this morning asking if I fancy another walk next week but I really don’t now I know she’s not sticking to the rules.

I’m so anxious that I’ve caught something and I’m doing to die 😩😩

Sorry that you’re feeling this way, are you at increased risk for any reason?

Firstly, unlikely to catch it outdoors and SD so try not to panic.

It sounds like the walks would actually be quite good for your anxiety, I was like you but meeting up with friends for walks helped. I actually became exposed though those I live with catching covid and I’m still here but totally understand how you feel.

If she had it 3 months ago, then she’s most likely immune. Would you be worried about going for a walk with her if she’d been vaccinated?

@reformedcharacters

Sorry that you’re feeling this way, are you at increased risk for any reason?

Firstly, unlikely to catch it outdoors and SD so try not to panic.

It sounds like the walks would actually be quite good for your anxiety, I was like you but meeting up with friends for walks helped. I actually became exposed though those I live with catching covid and I’m still here but totally understand how you feel.

My BMI.

I spoke to my Dr a few days ago about it and I'm now on group 6 for a vaccine.
Not sure when this will be though.

@bumbleymummy

If she had it 3 months ago, then she’s most likely immune. Would you be worried about going for a walk with her if she’d been vaccinated?

Probably not, no.

Sorry that you feel like this. It must be hard.

I think you should try to meet up with her again. If she had covid 3 months ago she should be immune for now at least so unlikely to pick up anything to pass onto you. To be extra sure just wear a mask and try to keep some distance between you. The benefits of getting outside and socialising will outweigh the very tiny risk of catching anything from her.

That's a lie, I probably would be anxious even if she'd been vaccinated.

@fireflylanegirls then think of this the same way. I know it’s hard. Anxiety is awful.

Great name btw. I love the series! 😊

Are you seeking help for your anxiety? Raising a resilient child is full of risks and there will come a time very soon, if this isn't already it, where your anxiety will limit your life and your child's.
Did you feel this way before the baby was born? Is it just around covid?
Outside, side to side with a person who has covid three months ago? Really no threat btw

OP important thing to remember is that you are overwhelmingly likely to be just fine if you catch covid and hope the vaccine will alleviate some of the anxiety.

Becoming a parent changes your outlook and you will be likely worried for your little one as well as yourself. Take steps toward your own well-being including decreasing your BMI whatever the reason for this is, walks with your friend will certainly help.

It is vanishingly unlikely that you've caught anything OP. zero per cent chance. She has had covid. Even cases of people who've had it twice are pretty thin on the ground. Yes she could in some freak chance have a covid germ on her somewhere, and then we come back to how incredibly low the transmission rates are outside.

If it's better for your mental health to find a different friend to walk with, you could make some excuse not to set a new date.

But if you lose another nights sleep over this it is a sign that you could seek help with anxiety. I hope you feel better soon.

My neighbour has health anxiety and unfortunately has passed on her anxiety to hetlr 6 Yr old dd. Both of them haven't left the house in months but she constantly texts me all the time. It is mentally draining for me as she is using me as her emotional crutch. I would strongly suggest that you seek help for anxiety & PND, I think you've got both.

You need to get this under control before it mentally affects your child. My neighbour hasn't been treated and her dd is the carbon copy of her. Before covid, the little girl hardly had any friends or party invitations because of her behaviour. It is really sad and her mum refuses to acknowledge the damage she has done to her child.

Do you have treatment for your anxiety? I'm not sure what you are asking.

That she may have infected you? Unlikely if she had it a few months ago, you were outdoors, kept apart. Have you really seen noone else since your baby was born?

That she has been mixing? Is she a lone parent, in a bubble, or has a childcare bubble with family? Are you sure they even mixed indoors and not on walks like yours.

That you don't want to meet again? It did your mh good to get out and exercise may mitigate your risk factors should you catch covid.. Perhaps wait until after your jab if it makes you feel better.

@Caramelwhispers

My neighbour has health anxiety and unfortunately has passed on her anxiety to hetlr 6 Yr old dd. Both of them haven't left the house in months but she constantly texts me all the time. It is mentally draining for me as she is using me as her emotional crutch. I would strongly suggest that you seek help for anxiety & PND, I think you've got both.

You need to get this under control before it mentally affects your child. My neighbour hasn't been treated and her dd is the carbon copy of her. Before covid, the little girl hardly had any friends or party invitations because of her behaviour. It is really sad and her mum refuses to acknowledge the damage she has done to her child.

I don’t think it’s helpful to add further worry & pressure into someone who is already clearly struggling.

What the OP needs is reassurance that she is and will be ok after her walk with the friend.

Ah, OP, living with anxiety must be awful.

Can you talk to your GP about it? Are there any local groups you can find on Facebook? I think you’d benefit from some real life support.

If you can, please meet up with your friend again, it will be so good for you.

OP totally get where you are coming from. If it helps, think of the likely probability that 1) she has it and 2) you were close enough to catch it. As you were outside I suspect it was low.

The risk outside is very, very low. I'm very cautious about covid, but I'm not worried about meeting people outside. As long as you are not hugging or sharing food etc.

Your chances of becoming very unwell with covid are extremely slim. The government is right to do lockdown etc, but on an individual level, your risks are minuscule.

Please see your gp for help with your anxiety

I really feel sorry for you and many others who are not living their life over something that will likely not cause long term harm.

Please start living your life, start getting out more for your own mental health

You won't have caught anything and you are not going to die.
You must know that deep down?

What you did was to follow the rules exactly. A walk outdoors as you describe is as safe as it can be, it would do far more good for your health to be out, fresh air, exercise than staying inside in fear.

I say that as someone who is extremely vulnerable because of my age and a long list of serious health conditions but my health and sanity have been saved by walking out side every day, occasionally with a friend side by side but 1-2m apart.

This walk is probably the best thing you could have done for your health and the baby.

Try and think about all the people who have worked through this and not caught it, even those working in supermarkets with high contact with strangers day in day out, and inside too. You were outside with one person, the benefits of being with someone and chatting and getting your baby out, is far more beneficial to you both than the risk you took. Maybe some medication for your anxiety would benefit you. But definitely go regularly, the more you do it, the easier it will get. Good luck and have faith that this will get better xxx

OP, I would put good money on you not developing Covid as a result of meeting this friend.

However, I would also seek help with your health anxiety.

I dare say you have thought of this, but losing weight would be a weight off your mind as well as your body.

@Tickledtrout

Are you seeking help for your anxiety? Raising a resilient child is full of risks and there will come a time very soon, if this isn't already it, where your anxiety will limit your life and your child's. Did you feel this way before the baby was born? Is it just around covid? Outside, side to side with a person who has covid three months ago? Really no threat btw

@Tickledtrout

I had CBT last year for post natal anxiety.

I'm thinking I need to have some more.

@Caramelwhispers

My neighbour has health anxiety and unfortunately has passed on her anxiety to hetlr 6 Yr old dd. Both of them haven't left the house in months but she constantly texts me all the time. It is mentally draining for me as she is using me as her emotional crutch. I would strongly suggest that you seek help for anxiety & PND, I think you've got both.

You need to get this under control before it mentally affects your child. My neighbour hasn't been treated and her dd is the carbon copy of her. Before covid, the little girl hardly had any friends or party invitations because of her behaviour. It is really sad and her mum refuses to acknowledge the damage she has done to her child.

@Caramelwhispers

I don't have PND. I was assed by a Dr last year and I had post natal anxiety.

I had 20 weeks of CBT to help me. Which is did. But Covid isn't doing anywhere and I'm
struggling to accept that I'm at some point likely to get it or that I could be seriously ill.

@LIZS

Do you have treatment for your anxiety? I'm not sure what you are asking.

That she may have infected you? Unlikely if she had it a few months ago, you were outdoors, kept apart. Have you really seen noone else since your baby was born?

That she has been mixing? Is she a lone parent, in a bubble, or has a childcare bubble with family? Are you sure they even mixed indoors and not on walks like yours.

That you don't want to meet again? It did your mh good to get out and exercise may mitigate your risk factors should you catch covid.. Perhaps wait until after your jab if it makes you feel better.

@LIZS

It's not the worry that she's has Covid, it's that she's been mixing and I'm worried she could've picked it up again and I've now caught it.

She is mixing indoors. She told me, followed by "don't report me will you" (obviously she was joking as she knows that I would do that)

I'm so glad the CBT helped you. I think it would be a great idea to start it again. The risk outside is very low. However, I can understand your anxiety about your friend breaking the rules. It's a difficult time and it's tricky to untangle what is helpful anxiety and what is unhelpful anxiety. I think CBT will help with that. Take care