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Anyone's life not changed that much?

50 replies

HeartShapedMoon · 19/02/2021 09:24

I read on here so much about people having not left their houses for nearly a year etc. But in co yeast my life isn't all that different and I seem to be in the minority. For example I worked from home anyway and am in the construction industry (family business) so we are all still working and my DH is out on sites etc mixing with other trades daily. I also supermarket shop every day, for my family (4 teens) and for my parents, a vulnerable friend and also help various people in my village as a volunteer. I also walk my dogs and usually see my friends walking there's at the same time (unplanned).

Apart from not being able to go to the pub and the kids being at home, not a lot is different. Kids are in their rooms working so I don't see a lot of them anyway, like when they're at school. Surely I can't be the only one?

OP posts:
Themostwonderfultimeoftheyear · 19/02/2021 10:37

Our lives have changed massively.

Jobs - DH working exclusively from home rather than occasional days. I quit my job due to the stress created my Covid (worked in a school)

Education - DS miss out on 3 months of preschool and one half term of Reception. I have had to home school which is a big change.

Family and friends - we would have guests probably every other weekend especially in the warmer months as we are one of the few families with a house big enough to host. Would go on days out with friends, restaurants etc. DS had regular play dates. We have seen one family member in the last year as even in the summer the area where most family live went into local lockdown early on.

Leisure - every weekend we would head out to local attractions such as NT properties, farm parks, swimming pools, softplays etc. Entertaining a 5 year old with none of these and no play date is hard.

Basically we had busy lives that involved regular socialising with people outside our household and we enjoyed eating out and visiting new places.

usernotfound0000 · 19/02/2021 10:37

@frozendaisy

There is no where to hang out outside your house, other house/cafe/pub/restaurant etc.

There is no where to go, swimming/gym/library/fun mindless shopping, outside your house apart from natural landscape areas.

There is nothing big to plan outside your house theatre/live music/concerts/cinema/village fairs etc. outside your house.

And if you want to see a bit of the globe that isn't winter/autumn/spring UK well that's not going to happen.

As for the kid's lives, less said about the differences the better.

As for the things we can do, essential shopping, all done in masks, alone, non-contact, no chatter, minimal browsing.

Are you sure your life hasn't changed?

Did you never plan to take your kids anywhere with other people around? Even just a firework display. Did you not celebrate birthdays, exam results or go and buy new clothes and shoes with them?

The calendar is bare, there are no packed lunches, PE bags, homework books to locate, they don't need uniform, their hobbies apart from gaming have evaporated. There are no conversations 'what weekend can you do". I've no idea where the iron is! There aren't even any new film releases on SKY. Watching sport on TV is empty stadiums. It's odd. It's different.

Did you do none of this?

I'm almost missing our fights in the Lego shop FFS!

I understand your general gist, your household is ok, our household is "ok" at the moment. But there is a big leap from ok to life not changed that much.

Totally agree. All the small everyday things that we took for granted. I can see that work might not have changed for some people but I can't believe that the majority of people didn't do some of these things.
Themostwonderfultimeoftheyear · 19/02/2021 10:41

Oh yes and we used to love the cinema and theatre. And DH and I haven't had a date in a year due to lack of family to babysit.

Katinthedoghouse · 19/02/2021 10:55

I’m in a similar position to you op.

I still work PT, shop in the supermarket when necessary, walk the dog, DC happily homeschooling with no problems ( might even say flourishing) have had tradespeople in the house this week working. Financially in a good position and can order stuff online to fit my needs. I’m healthy as are my family. I live in a big house with twice as many toilets as people, and plenty of outdoor space. It’s a different life to what I am used to but it’s more than bearable.

Of course I feel curtailed. I’m bored of doing the same old things, I can’t do my volunteering, I can’t meet up with friends and family, i can’t plan anything. I can’t be impulsive and I can’t travel and I’m watching too much tv and screen time. I can’t see my older children, I have to look after my MIL with dementia with the Groundhog Day that brings.

So, I count my blessings as I think I am fortunate and I feel so much for others who are worse off. To answer your question, I disagree, my life has changed a lot but I’m in a good place to adapt to these changes .

emmathedilemma · 19/02/2021 11:03

Mine has literally never been more different! I've always been office based (occasionally worked from home), visiting Client's offices for meetings or working there, travelled a lot with work, was away visiting friends / family or city breaks at least one weekend a month or they came to stay here, did organised sports, went to the gym, had friends round for dinner or went out to restaurants, used public transport to get around town.....

BiddyPop · 19/02/2021 11:31

My life has changed entirely.

I used to go out to work in an office in the city centre, commuting by train. I got a nice coffee on my way in the mornings (and to get chance of a seat, would go backwards on the line 4 stops, get my (much nicer than home station) coffee in that station but also get a 5 minute mindfulness opportunity gazing out over the ever-changing sea, then hop on the train back into town with at least a decent standing spot and it only added 20 minutes). I also had a 7 minute FAST walk from the station to the office at the end, as well as the steps in all stations, and the same on my return (where I would often go 1 or 2 stops backwards to be the first not last city centre station and a better spot - depending on times of trains when I got there and how much pressure to get home). And as my office was on the 5th floor, I had a lot of stairs to climb there too (I generally used the stairs a lot for exercise as well as for speed rather than the lift).

I made salads every 2nd evening, for 2 days of lunches at work. I used to often also go out onto the shopping streets near the office for a walk at lunch - which was handy to get things we needed generally. My GP and chemist were near the office, a physio, beautician, etc - that I could easily get to on breaks.

I did sometimes do online shopping, but also often popped into M&S food hall at lunch, or Asian supermarket frequently enough for bits, or stopped at a deli en route home for easy dinners some nights. And it was no problem to go supermarket shopping on my own at weekends because the others in the house were already busy and didn't want to come (and got to get what they wanted by my lunchtime wanderings or themselves locally on their way to/from school/work).

I was out a lot - managing my Cub Scout pack, learning to sail, meeting friends, bringing DD to her sports all over etc. We ate out a fair amount, and there were lots of social gatherings in the neighbourhood. We visited our parents and families roughly once a month (2.5 hours drive away) for the weekend, and they occasionally came to see us too. DD stayed in school until late evening to do sports and study (her choice entirely - we just paid handsomely for the priviledge!), so there was some time when we had peace in the house at relaxation time.

Now, DH and I both WFH and are under huge pressure to deliver and manage our teams. I have changed role internally 3 times in the past year (1 was expected just as we locked down, 2 were to manage emergencies) so it has been chaos. DD has had a lot of homeschooling, luckily her school are good but now "school" including study finishes at 4pm not 9pm in her mind. Whereas I can no longer leave my desk at 5.30 as there are such deadlines and pressures, and it is so much harder doing things remotely on what I do (we are getting it done, but each step takes extra time and our team cannot just meet for 20 minutes to iron something out - we need to set up a formal zoom which in itself takes 20 minutes to organise, and is so much more stilted than meetings in person as you can't just jump in and point to something and quickly explain it while someone else is confused as the computer only allows 1 speaker but the ear in person would hear the 2nd and conversation flows easier).

I am shopping online a lot but struggling as food needs have changed so much in the house, and what's available has also changed a lot (both what is actually available to choose online, and what is actually delivered as there are lots of subs at the moment or just "out of stock" situations). I cannot get the health foods DD wants easily (no red meat but turkey mince instead, dried seaweed as a snack...that sort of thing). And because DD is so anxious about getting the right kind of food (and really cannot handle the changes so needs to physically see the lack of options on the shelf), she comes with me mostly when I go in person. But cannot handle me stopping to check shelves for things I need, mutters into her mask so I can't hear and then storms off when I ask her to repeat it so I know what she's looking for, either crams right into me or stands in such a way that I can't get out of the way of others...….shopping in person is stressful enough and I really hate bringing her with me but I have to relatively frequently.

The kitchen is always chaos so I can never just arrive back in to the clean surfaces I left in the morning and quickly get dinner made - I have to clean up major chaos, hope someone hasn't used the planned ingredients during the day, and deal with someone who is now so starving they can't wait for food and I am doing it all wrong so they try to take over and cook something else for themselves or add so much spice to the family meal that it's inedible for me. DH is under huge pressure at work also so is doing less cooking than he used to but we are trying to get DD to cook once a week - but she can't make decisions so I am doing all that constantly and the thinking about what we have in the house, what we need to use up, what we need to buy, what's not available to what alternatives can we get/use/eat etc..

I no longer have my power walks and stair climbing. I no longer get up from my chair and walk down the corridor to talk to a colleague about something. I don't get out at lunchtime as that is "being rude and unsociable" to the others in the house (we meet at lunch in the kitchen, having all been busy in 3 separate rooms all morning, before retreating to those rooms again for the afternoon). So I have put on 2 stone and have needed to buy new clothes. And am very unfit too - I was not terribly fit before as in able to run miles, but I was very well able to climb hills walking and keep going for hours, but even that is now gone.

No socialising. We had 3 beers on the green all summer, each for about an hour, as we all spread out - but that is all we have seen of each other as neighbours. Since March of last year, I have only seen my DPs and DMIL once, in July when we went down for 1 night. My Cubs have continued to meet - the Leaders have managed to get online Scouting sort of work for us and most of our Cubs are coming - but not all. So we have to send out things to them as well so they are not left out. We were able to meet as half a pack in person from September to December - so we ran each session twice every week. We have not been on any of our overnights last year (we usually do 3 - 2 single night hostel trips and a 2 night camping in tents weekend) and have already cancelled the first hostelling this year. And we are currently back to online meetings, but looks like we won't be able to meet in person even as a half pack when schools go back this time around.

There is a regular family zoom quiz - that is so painful, but my family cannot change "tradition" once it is set. And it happens at a time that is really difficult for my immediate family, but to juggle everyone else's needs, that is the time. I am also worried about elderly DPs and DMIL in general, but can do nothing about it from here as they won't admit to things unless you can see the whites of their eyes...

So no - my life is not unchanged. Every single thing about it has changed. It sucks. No - it's absolutely shit. I have not been bingewatching series, or getting caught up on the movies I have missed out on, or gone to music gigs at home or even been able to catch up on sleep. I have taken very little leave, as work is too busy, and DD is just too bouncy so cannot leave you in peace ever, even just to watch 1 hour of tv after a whole afternoon of chat/shopping/long walk etc. It';s been utterly full on. But we just have to get on with it.

Baileysforchristmas · 19/02/2021 11:50

I was in London just before Christmas, we went out for a meal, my daughter goes to a drama school in London which was going ahead before this lockdow, we were out in summer, most weekends at the pub in the garden and met up with a couple of friends. My life is quieter now but i’m not stuck in doors, like I said I go to work, see to my horse, walk my dogs and shop twice a week, it hasn’t been to bad so far.

Brunt0n · 19/02/2021 11:53

If my life hadn’t changed, I would be massively reassessing my life Shock

No seeing friends and family, no travel, no shopping, no theatre, no going out for a meal, no cinema, no going for a drink with a friend... no plans and nothing to look forward to?

bjjgirl · 19/02/2021 11:59

My dds are still in school full time, I'm still working full time in the office and exercising twice daily, luckily running or in my home gym set up.

However really miss my sport buddies and training and competing

MoirasRoses · 19/02/2021 12:42

God, my life has enormously. I’ve gone from working in the office 4x days a week in a sociable job, having lunch with friends at work, dashing to pick up DD from nursery, all her activities such as gymnastic class, swimming & art class .. all of which we attend with friends so we all sat together having a coffee & a natter while the kids did their thing. On my Fridays off, I’d be meeting either my friends or family for a play date at softplay or the park or our houses. My OH & I had date night once a week while my parents babysat .. my parents would sometimes have the kiddos on a weekend so we got sims grown up time to go for a wonder round the shops or things like theme parks, a spa, the gym, a swim, the cinema. Weekends would be packed with softplay, cafes, walks (back when they weren’t a bloody chore).. from time to time also meals & nights out with friends. Every year my mum pals & I have a big summer party to celebrate birthdays (we met at NCT/baby classes so same age) & a similar event at Christmas. Once a year, my friends & I have a slap up night away. I used to travel to London once a month with work, which I loved. Once a year, I’d attend a conference in Toronto.. we’ve also got two cancelled holidays to Greece & Mexico we might be able to use in 2022 🙄

I miss life so much. I feel pretty low at the moment. I’m lonely, I’m going loopy without social interaction. I long to hug my friends, I long to sit around drinking coffee & eating biscuits while our kids play together, I long to just live, to feel happy & fulfilled again. I’m just existing, my children are bored stupid. Life is shit.

LeSquigh · 19/02/2021 12:48

My life has barely changed. Both myself and my DP are category 1 key workers so we have worked as normal throughout (maybe more than normal with more overtime). The kids are off school because we don't need it for childcare so that is different but not particularly in a bad way, for them more than me. I still have to go shopping and do the usual stuff and I am not that sociable anyway. The thing I miss most is going to a cafe but I can live without it. Have done a bit of delivering to parents so still seeing them occasionally. I actually quite liked the first lockdown, whilst it was warm and we could use the garden more. I am saving a fortune on petrol!

Fuckadoodledoooo · 19/02/2021 12:49

@Brunt0n

If my life hadn’t changed, I would be massively reassessing my life Shock

No seeing friends and family, no travel, no shopping, no theatre, no going out for a meal, no cinema, no going for a drink with a friend... no plans and nothing to look forward to?

Yeah but that's life for some people. It really is.

Up until last year I was working 12 hour night shifts, 4 a week just to keep a roof over our heads. Dh was working in the day. We didn't have the money, time or energy to do anything else.

And I don't know anyone to meet up with, we only have the PIL as family.

I've seen a lot of these threads and I know it's quite shocking to a lot of people that there are many who can't go out to eat, theatre, cinema because they just can't afford it or are working opposite shifts.

Doesn't mean you can't be happy though. We're all different.

lifeonhardmodept2 · 19/02/2021 12:56

I have been in a sort of lockdown for a few years prior to this anyway. We weren’t able to go to restaurants or shops or on holiday. It was very rare we were able to visit family at their homes. People, on occasion were able to come to ours house. 3 kids, one out of school for years due to special needs and inability of the LA to find a suitable school, one out due to severe anxiety but trying every day to attend and the youngest excluded about 2 weeks before lockdown after having been on a part time timetable for over a year prior, again due to special needs. So no, not much has changed for us at all. Except for the fact that we can now have more takeaway options and shopping deliveries etc. Performances that we would have loved to have seen in the past but our situation would not allow, are now available to view live online. We were able to go to a drive in cinema in the summer, something that hasn’t been available until now. I’m happy that life will return to normal for everyone else eventually but I am hopeful that some of the conveniences we’ve enjoyed will stay.

lifeonhardmodept2 · 19/02/2021 12:57

Also, able to speak to the doctor over the phone rather than having to physically go there. Something I could not have done without DH taking the day off work.

lifeonhardmodept2 · 19/02/2021 12:58

@Brunt0n

If my life hadn’t changed, I would be massively reassessing my life Shock

No seeing friends and family, no travel, no shopping, no theatre, no going out for a meal, no cinema, no going for a drink with a friend... no plans and nothing to look forward to?

Wish I could. Not an option though unfortunately. We have to make do with the life we have.
bjjgirl · 19/02/2021 13:02

I could live without the bars and restaurants but long to entertain friends and family again, go to the gym, let my dds have parties

freddiesmoustache · 19/02/2021 13:03

Our lives are unrecognisable to a year ago.

DH and I both used to work out of the house, we now both WFH. I was made redundant and now am in a completely different line of work.
DD was at school, now at home

DH is vulnerable so we haven't even stepped inside a supermarket since last March, let alone done anything else.

The unsettling this is, it now feels completely normal to be living like this.

testingtesting321 · 19/02/2021 13:15

My life hasn’t changed massively, although it has a bit, but I actually feel that some of those changes are positive.

Since March 2020 I still work the same job (NHS) part time so still leave the house for that, but I’ve also started a new part time job since last summer working on the covid response, so it feels like the free time that I used to have and just frittered away on nothing I am spending doing something useful.

I used to go to a cafe every day for a nice coffee, which I obviously can’t do now, but that means I’m saving myself a hundred pounds a month or so, which is great!

The kids are homeschooling, which is hard, but my eldest has ASD and life is always challenging, so it’s not all that different. They aren’t doing their usual sports activities so Saturday mornings aren’t spent watching them, but instead we walk the dog or play a board game together, so it’s made us more cohesive as a family than everyone going off to do their own thing.

I am hugely introvert and going out socialising is a chore for me rather than something that I enjoy, so I am happy enough entertaining myself or it just being my partner and kids.

I think those who aren’t working or who have a very busy social life are those who are finding lockdown more difficult. But I am happy as I was, and I am happy as I am now. I don’t feel like there is anything missing from my life. I find things to be grateful for every day (even if that’s something small like a nice cup of tea or a flower that I’ve seen on a walk). I don’t need anything big to be content.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 19/02/2021 13:15

My work hasn't changed, I can't work from home at all so I'm going out to work as usual, DS is at school.

My social life and leisure time has been though. I don't live in the same town as my friends and I can't drive, I don't want to use public transport unnecessarily at the moment so I'm not socialising much. DS and I are very social normally, we love going out on day trips and holidays too. Plus all his clubs aren't running.

polkadotpixie · 19/02/2021 13:16

Mine hasn't changed massively. I work for the NHS so I've been working throughout and DH is a gardener so he has too

My Mum looks after my son whilst I'm at work and has as usual since June and I don't socialise anyway so don't really miss that

I don't like not being able to take DS to soft play/farm parks etc and I miss wandering round the shops but my life hasn't changed much compared to other people's

KettleWentBang · 19/02/2021 13:19

Same here. Non essential shops don't bother me. I'll order online. I probably go in to the city 3 times a year if that.

Rarely go to pubs etc. We prefer a take away and movie when kids at GP. who happened to be our bubble so still goes.

Only thing would be the theme parks with our passes but they're shut now anyway and I don't go in the holidays. So again that's not missed.

Dd still at pre school. Ds at home learning he's year 10.but actually does more work at home without messing about with other students (he's not in the mainstream lessons)

I still do the shop once a week and a couple of top ups as needed.

DH still works out of home. We walk to meet him on lunch hour still if it's dry.

NeedToGetOuttaHere · 19/02/2021 13:48

My life and my DH’s has changed since much I still can’t get my head around it.

Bargebill19 · 19/02/2021 13:54

No change for us except for the wearing of masks and no caravan trips.

Suzi888 · 19/02/2021 13:56

Same here, the only real difference is working from home which has been a bonus.
I do miss seeing friends and going to the pub but I never went much anyway!
I miss having a holiday too, and working from home with a little one has been a nightmare! Lol

RhubarbTea · 19/02/2021 14:03

I work from home and homeschool anyway but my life has still changed beyond recognition and I have found the past year incredibly tough. My work has actually got busier because of the pandemic but my son no longer chooses to go to his other parents house 3 days a week so is with me full time and I begun an OU degree just before the pandemic started. My workload and stress levels are through the roof and all the lovely things - choir, seeing friends from the next county/next town and further afield plus the events in the summer which were the highlight of my year have all been taken. Life feels like an endless trudge at the moment. Being self employed,, even when things are okay work wise I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop and there is no security or feeling that it will stay busy.

In so many ways I'm really lucky and in others I'm having a completely shit time. I'm a single parent and am just SO tired. I'm at the end of my rope mentally.
So I suppose it doesn't follow that work from home = nothing has changed. It varies from person to person.

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