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Original poster

Is anyone considering keeping their child at home when schools go back?

275 replies

Chollok · 13/02/2021 17:08

Just that really, considering keeping my reception aged DS at home after 8 March for a number of reasons. Wondered if anyone else was doing likewise?

OP posts:
Original poster
Chollok · 13/02/2021 22:34

And post viral issues are a risk from almost all viruses so I’m not hiding forever just in case of long Covid.

We know nothing of the long term risks of covid though. It's shown that even in mild cases it causes organ damage.

I don't feel we have enough data to say the risk to children is negligible.

OP posts:
3littlewords · 13/02/2021 22:35

What are you planning on doing then @Bing12 long and short term?

Iliketeaagain · 13/02/2021 22:40

@Bing12 unfortunately the head has already sent a letter to all parents telling us that if any parents were at home, they wouldn't offer a key worker place and to please not ask as they had a lot of parents who are key workers and they are trying to keep numbers down. But I will be trying again after half term, and the head can then understand the position that we are in. Because dd is not "vulnerable" in that we have the tech to do the work, she is still doing fine academically, she is low priority for a school place. It's so frustrating, because her anxiety ramps up every summer term (panic attacks for the last 3 years) and will be worse this year as she going to secondary school in September. At least we can pay for private face to face therapy support if that ever happens - she's had support via teams at the start of lockdown and it just did not work for her at all.

Bing12 · 13/02/2021 22:45

It depends...

I’m still hoping they might align themselves more with a zero covid approach (deluded probably!). If they do, then I hope we could be back at some point after Easter before the summer break.

I would want R low, cases low and proper mitigation in place. My kids can’t shout for this so I will. I’m hoping the NEU will do the shouting for me tbh - it’s not fair on teaching staff. The government know this, SAGE advised them in July re the likely effects of schools but they’ve only just published the minutes!

Also depends on vaccine progress. Predictor app says we might have our first jab (as bog standard mid 40 people) in April....

If so would definitely hold out for that.

Would then assess the situation at that point. So back to case numbers, R value, mitigation in place and whether vaccine was looking likely for kids.

I can’t see the point in exposing them if they’re only going to have the vaccine before the end of 2021 anyway.

But I say that was somebody who is on a stay at home parents break, with my mother to help with home learning. I know that puts me in an unusual and fortunate position. Completely get the other viewpoints re children needing school.

Bing12 · 13/02/2021 22:48

[quote Iliketeaagain]@Bing12 unfortunately the head has already sent a letter to all parents telling us that if any parents were at home, they wouldn't offer a key worker place and to please not ask as they had a lot of parents who are key workers and they are trying to keep numbers down. But I will be trying again after half term, and the head can then understand the position that we are in. Because dd is not "vulnerable" in that we have the tech to do the work, she is still doing fine academically, she is low priority for a school place. It's so frustrating, because her anxiety ramps up every summer term (panic attacks for the last 3 years) and will be worse this year as she going to secondary school in September. At least we can pay for private face to face therapy support if that ever happens - she's had support via teams at the start of lockdown and it just did not work for her at all.[/quote]
So sorry, I did see the new government advisor for schools (can’t remember his ahem but quoted as being a tsar?!) was really big on mental health. They definitely need to look closely at people asking for help for mental health reasons. I really hope that you are able to get some support for her.

bofski14 · 13/02/2021 22:49

Yes, I am keeping my child home. I am CEV and have been told by my consultant that if I catch Covid I would have roughly a 30% chance survival rate. So I don't want to die and leave my child without a mother. I don't want to be stuck at home and homeschooling. I want her to be at school with her friends having a normal life but these aren't normal times and my only other option is to risk death so I'm just getting on with it and doing it (with no help or input from her actual school by the way). I'm not the only parent in the world doing this but it is hard. It's just us. But what's made it harder is the torrent of judgement that is being rained down on us by people screaming that we are ruining our children's lives. It is unbearable at times. We are doing our best. Nobody wanted this but we are all just trying to keep going. For some that means normality of school and having a routine again for their mental health. For others, it just means physically staying alive. Please be thoughtful about how you paint the lives of children you don't know.

Bing12 · 13/02/2021 22:50

Name! 🤦🏻‍♀️
@Iliketeaagain I would be exactly the same as you if I thought the mental health of my children was being affected. Must add a whole extra layer of stress. Take care.

bofski14 · 13/02/2021 22:52

Several posters on here have said they are "putting their children first" by sending them to school. I am putting my child first by making sure I don't die of Covid and leaving her with no mother. We are all doing our best. Let's not judge. Whatever happened to hashtag be kind? Or has the novelty worn off now?

Bing12 · 13/02/2021 22:52

@bofski14

Yes, I am keeping my child home. I am CEV and have been told by my consultant that if I catch Covid I would have roughly a 30% chance survival rate. So I don't want to die and leave my child without a mother. I don't want to be stuck at home and homeschooling. I want her to be at school with her friends having a normal life but these aren't normal times and my only other option is to risk death so I'm just getting on with it and doing it (with no help or input from her actual school by the way). I'm not the only parent in the world doing this but it is hard. It's just us. But what's made it harder is the torrent of judgement that is being rained down on us by people screaming that we are ruining our children's lives. It is unbearable at times. We are doing our best. Nobody wanted this but we are all just trying to keep going. For some that means normality of school and having a routine again for their mental health. For others, it just means physically staying alive. Please be thoughtful about how you paint the lives of children you don't know.
I bet your girl is doing just fine. One day this will be a memory and a story to tell. But yes it’s horribly hard all round I think. Take care and keep going, at least we’ve made it to half term! 🥳
blue25 · 13/02/2021 22:54

Ha! No

Bing12 · 13/02/2021 22:57

@bofski14

Several posters on here have said they are "putting their children first" by sending them to school. I am putting my child first by making sure I don't die of Covid and leaving her with no mother. We are all doing our best. Let's not judge. Whatever happened to hashtag be kind? Or has the novelty worn off now?
I really do think we’ve been manipulated into a “team open” versus “team closed” battle. This government seems to like the distraction technique for their behaviour management!

It should be about the best interests of children and families so there is no right team or right answer. Just lots of best compromises that we should be supported in so far as is possible.

And safer schools for everyone. But that comes back to money, so they just start up the open versus closed argument instead.

TheKeatingFive · 13/02/2021 23:05

*I am CEV and have been told by my consultant that if I catch Covid I would have roughly a 30% chance survival rate

We’re you told this a long time ago, out of interest?

Because an 85+ year old with a couple of serious co-morbidities has a much better survival rate than this, and we know that age is by far the biggest risk factor. I wonder if people are working off information that has been re-evaluated since.

pinkpip100 · 13/02/2021 23:25

I want our life back and we could have that if they just closed the borders and locked down properly. But they won’t even employ mitigation properly in schools. Beyond frustrating!!

Totally agree. I listened to an interview with Dr. Deepti Gurdasani in which she suggested that with proper border restrictions and a zero covid approach we could be living a close to 'normal' life as soon as around 4 months from now. I feel so frustrated that this approach is just being shouted down. It makes much more sense to me than this perpetual in-out-in of lockdowns/tiered restrictions etc, which is leading to more deaths, more mutations, more people suffering with long covid and ultimately more damage to our economy.

Tangledtresses · 13/02/2021 23:31

Gawd I do worry about the level of education of some of these posters let alone out kids who have missed an entire year of school?!

Yes most parents want to send their kids to school

Do you think there are some arsey teens posting on here who do not want to go back to school?? Darling is that you? 🤣

Porcupineintherough · 14/02/2021 00:20

Nope. Had it twice, last time before Christmas (thanks school), nothing left to fear. I already have long COVID, for ds1 and myself COVID is now a mild illness, dh and ds1 are totally immune.

Original poster
Chollok · 14/02/2021 07:20

Gawd I do worry about the level of education of some of these posters let alone out kids who have missed an entire year of school?!

I worry more about your level of education given you don't seem to be able to accept that different people might have different points of view on things Confused

OP posts:
Posturesorposes · 14/02/2021 07:26

My baby was born at the start of the pandemic and has been at nursery full time uninterrupted from august.

My 5 year old started reception in September and whilst he is learning ten times more at home - and perfectly happy - he will be equally if not more happy at school and he will be first in the queue to go back. There is not one chance in hell that we will voluntarily keep either of them at home. I cannot stress this Enough.

snowydaysandholidays · 14/02/2021 07:37

No chance no!! And x100000 no!

sonnysunshine · 14/02/2021 07:38

@Porcupineintherough

Nope. Had it twice, last time before Christmas (thanks school), nothing left to fear. I already have long COVID, for ds1 and myself COVID is now a mild illness, dh and ds1 are totally immune.
Just need to point out that you have no idea if DH and DS1 are "totally immune". No one knows how long an antibody response lasts after having covid, though current thinking is 6 months. They do know that everyone that has covid isn't immune.

Lightningcrops · 14/02/2021 07:40

Yes, mainly for their sake, but also as I don't think work will be as ameniable if I am choosing to keep them off.

It sounds OP like your hesitance isn't really covid related? I think only you can make the decision as a family on what is best, but that would be homeschooling or sending back, rather than keeping off. Personally I think reception is important for preparing for school, homeschooling can be great, but it does need to be something you genuinely want to do and can commit a lot to, rather than to avoid mainstream school. I was the same socially when I was younger so I empathise, school was the making of me though, but this isn't the same for everyone.

I know teachers are obviously busy as always at the moment, but could you talk to the teacher and discuss your concerns, and see what support they can offer? And then at least the decision will be fully informed for you.

Makinganewthinghappen · 14/02/2021 07:41

Well we home ed anyway so yes - but not because of the pandemic. If you child is better at home and you have the time and resources to home ed you can just deregister and keep him home.

mrsminiegg · 14/02/2021 07:46

Noooooooooooooooo!!!!!! You cannot compare school and home learning. Picking up reading may well have happened in the same way at school due to age... school is about so much more than academic learning I'm afraid so you are being very very U.

lifeonhardmodept2 · 14/02/2021 07:47

I would consider keeping my secondary child at home for the same reasons as OP. He suffered with anxiety before all of this COVID stuff. He had missed so much school because he just couldn’t get through the gate. Now he is learning online all day. His school has run a really good programme this time around. I would hate for things to slip back and for him to be unable to cope again. He is also now anxious about COVID. He’s old enough to see the news himself. I think it would add another layer of worry for him. He went back in September but really struggled with panic attacks (like he had before).

florasofauna · 14/02/2021 07:57

We already home educate so yes. If it suits your whole family, obviously including your DC, to continue with home education then continue.

Avaganda · 14/02/2021 08:05

Nope! We'll be there at the crack of dawn on the 8th. Our area has 16 cases per 100,000 so I'm not feeling worried.