Which specific moment from this will stay with you forever?

[RosieLemonade]

Positive or negative.

I still remember that Monday, because it is a family birthday. We were sitting around the MILs and she is extremely vulnerable. Bojo made his announcement at 5pm that the vulnerable had to shield. We all sat looking at each other and said 'we'd best go home then

I remember that Monday too because a relative had got married on the Sunday (about 1/4 of the guests didn't turn up, but they had a good day and to our knowledge nobody got covid that day) - DH and I stayed overnight and it was a very odd atmosphere in the hotel and around the town, we just went straight home the following day.

I went swimming that evening, it was a full class which never happens, I think everyone realised it was going to be the last time for a while.

14th March - last parkrun. I noted on Strava that it was likely to be the last for a while but wasn't expecting them not to be back after nearly a year. Local half marathon cancelled at the last minute (though the Bath HM on the same day was not, and I've often wondered if there was a spike in cases in the Bath area).

A DF (very intelligent) at the very beginning In Jan/Feb 20, posted on social media saying something about all the fuss re Wuhan was just scaremongering - it was just like a bad seasonal flu. The majority of people agreed with her on the post. I tried to politely point out the death rate was pretty high and if it took hold over here we would all eventually know someone who had died.
At the time I thought I was being over-dramatic and decided to remove my post after a few hours. A couple of months ago we were talking on the phone - she said at the time she thought I was mad, but unfortunately she has now lost 3 acquaintances. I normally enjoy being right - but not any more, I never imagined it would be this bad.

I’ve only been frightened twice throughout this whole thing, the first time was when they said pregnant women were more vulnerable, DD is CEV anyway, and was pregnant at the time. The second time was when Boris went into intensive care, and Raab came out to do a press conference looking like he’d seen a ghost.

It a personal one for me. Having my child's speech and language therapy , opthomology and physio appointments postponed indefinitely all in the same week of March. I felt scared , not only for us as a nation , but for my child , who had been on waiting lists for such support.

On my last trip to the supermarket before the first lockdown I arrived at about 5.30am and saw multiple people leaving with large trollies overflowing with toilet paper. The toilet paper aisle was chaos, the poor woman working there was completely swamped with people grabbing pockets while she tried to unload a cage. It genuinely looked like a scene from a disaster movie.

Also in the same visit I watched a woman place her trolley at the end of the dried pasta aisle, go back to the beginning and literally sweep every packet into the trolley with her arm. Took a while to accept that I’d actually seen it. It was completely and utterly unbelievable. I think that visit really cemented the feeling that this was all real and something significant was beginning.

The day after the first national lockdown was in effect. I drove to work and the roads were almost empty. I saw a police car, three ambulences and a hearse and maybe one other normal car. It was so eerie and the radio was going on about 'staying home' and all those images from italy were fresh and the sense of the unknown was huge.

How nasty people can be and easily turn on one another at the drop of a hat (well, on mumsnet anyway).
How scarily easily people will happily do exactly what they’re told and not even question the rationale behind it.

Waiting in a queue of cars in a small lane in a small village latish one night as a body was loaded into a very full (coroner's?) van. Quite surreal. Village square had been filled the day before with hordes of people attending a funeral with no social distancing and no masks.

Negatives: too many sadly due to 3 family deaths and covid funerals, having to be in hospital with covid and other complications, not being able to see family for so long, feeling so isolated from adult communication/contact when I first returned to work (school) as I was outside of the bubbles, long covid issues, general sadness, etc.

Positives:

• the pure joy I saw in children's faces as they walked through the gates to school and saw their friends in September after so long away; it was lovely to see their excitement even whilst the adults (parents and teachers) were feeling a little anxious at times

• seeing Dd manage to bubble with new friends at university and therefore being able to enjoy her first year away from home albeit in the form of bubble parties in her flat rather than normal fresher student's socials.

• the joy of that first meal out with close friends, albeit sat at separate tables 2m apart, after lockdown 1 was eased.

• Dd turning 18y

My nana had bern in hospital and was sent home on pallative care. The day she died i arrived and the nurses were putting a serringe driver up the nurse doing it was a friend of mine.the saddness in her eyes that she was unable to hug/comfort me.
Also ive attended 3 funerals in face masks very difficult.
I think the worse was watching my 5 year old develope anxiety about going anywere.

That last week in school in March where everything was changing on a daily basis and it was terrifying
The long walks in the sun during the first lockdown
When Boris got admitted to icu (not a fan or a hater-it just seemed a major event!)

Current lockdown just seems like a long sludgy trudge. I’m not sure anything will stand out from this. Even the chaos of closing schools the night before just seems par for the course now.

My 4 yr old sick for a week like I've never seen and the ambulance staff saying in normal times he would be in hospital but they didnt advise it now and if he went I couldn't go. (This was march 2020)

Bad - Going to our huge Tesco to getting some shopping for my parents and the shelves were completely bare. I felt very panicky and tearful. There were a few other people walking around just shaking their heads in utter disbelief.

Emailing DS1's primary school a couple of days before school closures were announced, to say we were taking him out. The headteacher was extremely supportive. When I went to the office to collect his PE kit, they had piled up the kits of those who had been pulled out of school and there were absolutely loads of them, the receptionist said about half the children had been taken out of school.

The press conference when Boris said we all must stay at home.

My auntie coming down from Birmingham in the summer to sit in my parents' garden. I took my DC over and the six of us had a cup of tea and a cake together. She'd seen no-one in person for 4 months. Her complete joy at seeing us and then her quietly asking for a hug because she couldn't stand to be near us and have no contact. I gave her a hug and she cried, I didn't think she was ever going to let go.

Managing to get away camping for a night in august, our first ever camping trip. The DC spent hours on the beach, we had fish and chips for tea and then went to the arcades on the sea front the next day. A little bit of (almost) normality in a very strange and difficult year.

The impact it’s had upon me professionally & personally. I’m not the same
How bonded I feel to colleagues I work with. What we have been through
The things I can never discuss with anyone other than work colleagues
That I put on a it’s okay face when it’s not,and it’s plausible

I’ve sat in the toilet at work and just wept at the sheer enormity of it. Dusted myself down and kept going. Day in,day out

I’m resilient
I’m resourceful
Grateful for the wee things, my kids,my dp. Things like soft clean towels are such a pleasure. Podcasts to distract
I’ve read a lot more too
But I’m also a bit broken

Working from home in a busy job for months while my children were left to their own devices and missed education.

Nothing else really.

Losing both parents within 7 months.

A year ago today , posting a picture of a Heineken beer in hotel in egypt , on Facebook, writing "no corona here" ..
how funny we were then 😞

Standing in the queue outside Boots just after the first lockdown started and talking to a woman in front of me, telling her where she could still buy Calpol for her grand daughter. Felt like I was in WW2 l, discussing rationing!
Also queueing at the supermarket and feeling frightened, like I was literally risking my life by going to Waitrose. The empty shelves. Wearing a DIY dust mask because no one could get fabric or paper ones at that point. The great hunt for hand sanitizer.
Before lockdown, in February I think, telling my dad that it was time he stopped going shopping and let me do it instead.
Calling my child's university around that time and asking whether they were tracking where their international students had travelled from and whether they had any plans in place to contain spread and feeling like a totally neurotic loon.

Teaching the single student left in a class and having someone come in half way through the lesson to take him away to isolate as well.

Bad - last day of school before first lockdown. Everything just felt terrifying

Positive- gave me the kick up the arse to sort myself out. Decided I needed to lose weight - was over 17 stone when we first went into lockdown last March I'm now under 12. Only a few more to go

At the beginning of the first lockdown, I was caring for my dying gran, and the last time I saw her alive was during the very first clap for the NHS. I remember talking to her with the windows open and telling her to listen to everyone clapping. Every moment of that night will be etched in my mind forever.
From then on I couldn't bear to hear the clapping every Thursday.

Sitting sobbing in the garden on a bright April day writing a goodbye message to my dad, hoping someone would read it to him. They never did.

Calling my mum and then each of my siblings in turn to tell them he’d died the following morning.

Finding some peace with it all at his beautiful and unique funeral.

Finding out my cousin (40s) had died from Covid. The news that he had been admitted to hospital hadn't reached me and he died within a few days, so the first I heard about it was being told that he had died.

My gran, with dementia, crying that we weren't allowed to hug her goodbye at the end of a visit. There's a decent chance that will be my last memory of her.

In terms of moments that epiomised it for me there were three.

The day they locked down last March.
The first day queuing for the supermarket.
The moment that I sat in front of someone on a zoom who had lost 12 residents to Covid in a care home (they were the manager of the home).

I do have object pictures in my head as well, unsurprisingly masks , the red writing Covid songs in the windows of the high streets are indelibly printed.

In overall though it's the feelings of relentlessness that have stayed. Initially the rush of adrenaline as we all faced a threat gave way to stoic , head down , relentless transience will , I suspect ,be the continuing feeling.

I often wonder what my DC will remember. We were talking earlier whilst watching about Chernobyl, DP and I 's memories , 9/11 as well. The memories are rarely about the big stuff but the little moments. Standing outside of dixons seeing the reports , hearing my DP talk I snatched conversation, I do wonder what my DC will remember from this (they are 8 and 5 )