Which specific moment from this will stay with you forever?

[RosieLemonade]

Positive or negative.

Saying goodbye to my 90 y o solitary mum back in March, trying to explain covid through her dementia, knowing I wouldn't see her again for ages and wondering if she'd survive. She has so far but I'm not sure what for.

7am on Monday January 25th. Meeting my grandchild via a WhatsApp video call and acknowledging for the first time that I wouldn't get to see or hold her for a long time. Up until that moment, despite everything, I think a little part of me hadn't been able to think that it would really happen like that.
And then having to pull myself together and go to work to take care of other people's children.

Watching my husband receive a phone call from his db to say that his dad was in a critical condition at home with numerous paramedics there. His dad died a short while later, but dh, dbil and dmil were all there with him.

Then having to support his grieving through a door as he had to isolate after being in his parents house.

Trying to hold my 3yr whilst trying to test him. We never did manage it so had to isolate instead.

I'm another that whilst I think Boris is useless felt very emotional about him being moved to intensive care and thinking.... What if he dies... What wil we do then?

My anxiety. I am not an anxious person. I have thankfully never suffered with my mental health. However, this pandemic has given me anxiety. I don't feel safe in shops, or at work. I hate this feeling of not being safe.

My fear of when will this ever be over. Will life ever return to pre covid. Will I ever feel safe going to concerts and pubs again. At this moment I can't imagine I will.

Positives

Spending so much time with my children.
I will remember the beautiful weather and basically living outside everyday with my dc. Although at times it was hard I cherish these memories so much.

The first Thursday clap felt so emotional. Then the next few weeks I felt a great sense of community.

Going back to work in May 20 and seeing my colleagues who I count as my close friends and feeling thankful for that as I know many people haven't seen there friends in a long time.

My mum getting her first vaccine. And the knowledge that at some point I will get mine... Even though I will have to wait a while for it.

@beepbeepaleep

Watching my husband receive a phone call from his db to say that his dad was in a critical condition at home with numerous paramedics there. His dad died a short while later, but dh, dbil and dmil were all there with him.

Then having to support his grieving through a door as he had to isolate after being in his parents house.

Trying to hold my 3yr whilst trying to test him. We never did manage it so had to isolate instead.

I'm another that whilst I think Boris is useless felt very emotional about him being moved to intensive care and thinking.... What if he dies... What wil we do then?

My anxiety. I am not an anxious person. I have thankfully never suffered with my mental health. However, this pandemic has given me anxiety. I don't feel safe in shops, or at work. I hate this feeling of not being safe.

My fear of when will this ever be over. Will life ever return to pre covid. Will I ever feel safe going to concerts and pubs again. At this moment I can't imagine I will.

Positives

Spending so much time with my children.
I will remember the beautiful weather and basically living outside everyday with my dc. Although at times it was hard I cherish these memories so much.

The first Thursday clap felt so emotional. Then the next few weeks I felt a great sense of community.

Going back to work in May 20 and seeing my colleagues who I count as my close friends and feeling thankful for that as I know many people haven't seen there friends in a long time.

My mum getting her first vaccine. And the knowledge that at some point I will get mine... Even though I will have to wait a while for it.

Apologies for the length! I typed it out with paragraphs so was much more readable!

This thread.

I had my 3dc on the 10th of march last year- it was so surreal looking back. The day of her birth was pre covid normal noone was in masks we had tea and chatted laugh, it was beautifully sunny. We has a homebirth the next day ppe was issued at our trust and then the following week became really weird and very intense. The day of the announcement I remember going to asda, recovering from a womb infection, baby strapped to my chest and the shelves were empty a few smashed egg cartons, no flour no bread.An abandoned trolley, there was rubbish on the floor- bits of packaging, people were literally running around there was this atmosphere and it chilled me. It was so bizarre like I had walked into a movie scene.

Then the announcement, we all crowded around the tv. It felt very important, I remember thinking theyll write / screen / talk about this moment in years to come. It reminded me of those history programs which show families huddled around the wireless listening to Winston.

I found the following weeks very hard, no family support, no health visitors or weight checks, we had visitors see the baby through the window, the older two weren't at nursery or school...the daily walks in the eeirly quiet streets, the playgrounds taped up and the parks all closed with huge coronavirus signs. Then in the may I finally broke with pnd - and my mum (who lives alone) "snuck" into my house daily to help with looking after the kids whilst my husband was still at work...we kept the curtains closed incase neighbours reported us.

Finally the register offices opening back up in july - we managed to get an appointment for august....being able to see family in the park in the summer was absolutely wonderful.

And finally January we lost a family member to covid on the day of the school closures my son asked If all his friends were dead too from the virus and is that why he couldnt go to school? It broke my heart.

1. Boris’ announcement on March 23rd lockdown watching on tv and thinking this should have happened weeks ago. Also how cold Boris came across when he said about losing loved ones.

1. The disbelief in opening schools 4th Jan for a day!

1. Having 2teens it’s like I’ve had an extra year with them and very grateful. Both would have been out a lot more doing normal teen things but we have had some great quality family time and made loads of memories. I mean which 14 year celebrates their birthday with a 7mile welly walk across muddy bridle paths with their parents and siblings, followed by board games and a takeaway!

Coming home from work on an empty tube at 6pm on the last Friday before the first lockdown, with my work computer bungled into a suitcase. Absolutely eerie.

When the first lockdown started and I started working from home. It was strange and unsettling. I stuck a little post it note on my monitor that said 'THIS IS TEMPORARY' just to remind me that we'd be coming out the other side at some point.
I've now been on my own at home for almost a year. Post-it-writing-me didn't realise I'd still be in the same place a year later and I occasionally think back to that.

One of the first days working from home in lockdown. Husband had set up his office hastily in the conservatory and was cobbling together umbrellas to shade his screen, balancing one on a chair he’d put on the table.

I don’t know why, there was a perfectly good spare room he could have used.

Another day early in lockdown I was supposed to be working and I just went and lay on the bed rather than open up the computer,I just lay there for hours staring at the ceiling. It was just reaction.

That poster that said it would never break out in the UK and it was only spreading in Italy because Italians use their hands lots making pizza and pasta

Struggling to breathe and being told it would be best to try and manage at home but to call them back if my lips started turning blue. This was early April when the hospitals were overflowing and they changed the criteria for admission.

Alone at my anomaly scan finding out my baby had significant illness and wouldn't survive. Having to go home and tell my husband that. Being so, so thankful that my Mum was able to come be with me as I had him (as well as my husband). Having to take my face mask off to kiss my tiny baby goodbye before putting him in his forever bed. Not letting my Grandma come to his funeral because I'd been in and out of hospital all week and was scared of giving her covid.

The day my mum phoned to tell me that my dad had been put on a ventilator. I had called him the evening before and it felt like it might be the last time I would ever speak to him. After my mum called I went for a long walk and cried, so sure he would die.

But then the day, many weeks later, when my brother filmed my dad arriving home, weak but alive, and my parents neighbours out on the street clapping and cheering as he got out of the car and made his way into the house.

Feeling weird about opening door handles at work with a tissue, a friend hugging me before getting a flight back to India ‘while she could’, then work closed.

Having a picnic (sandwich as we walked) with my preschooler, then realising it might be illegal and having to try to explain why we couldn’t do it again.

The email to stop working for lockdown 3.0 to look after dd. First time since 14 with no independent income.

@wlv12

My mum dying alone in hospital on Christmas Day from covid.

I'm so sorry 😔

@AlexaPlayWhiteNoise

Alone at my anomaly scan finding out my baby had significant illness and wouldn't survive. Having to go home and tell my husband that. Being so, so thankful that my Mum was able to come be with me as I had him (as well as my husband). Having to take my face mask off to kiss my tiny baby goodbye before putting him in his forever bed. Not letting my Grandma come to his funeral because I'd been in and out of hospital all week and was scared of giving her covid.

I am terribly sorry, what an absolute trauma

A day towards the end of July. The local council hadn’t opened the parks in my city. I drove to a park a few miles away (in a different council area) to take DC for a walk. I arrived and the playground was open. I excitedly my 2 year old that the playground was open. She said oh no the playground is open. I repeated myself and got the same oh no comment. We walked toward the playground and suddenly my 2 year old realised that the playground was open and there was children playing in it. DD bolted towards it and I could see sheer joy in her face. She hadn’t been in a playground since Feb and I had spent the 5 months explaining that the playground was closed and she couldn’t play in it.

Positive, being home with my son to watch him develop, I've been able to spend the entirety of his first year with him when we expected it to be 8 months, as I was furloughed out of maternity leave.

Negative, beyond not being able to see my family and hug them? Losing my job in October was pretty hard, luckily dh can cover everything, but I hate that we have no extra money so our savings are stagnant and we can't have treat nights as often. I know we're lucky, but it's still not nice.

18 March 2020 working in school Exams cancelled. Followed by my y13 son coming into my office 10 minutes later to ask if it was true and his anger that it was.

It would have been almost exactly a year ago when things were developing so quickly in Italy and hearing that 50 people a day were dying there. I thought that was absolutely horrific (sadly I’m now desensitised to the fact that many more people than that die in the UK every single day. I obviously care but I think I subconsciously don’t let myself think about it).

On a more positive note getting jabbed as part of a vaccine trial. Was very chuffed after months sitting at home doing not much (lost most of my business due to covid) to be able to do something useful

The last Friday of school before they shut in March. I remember saying thank you to my daughters year 1 teacher and saying hopefully we would see her soon. She burst into tears.

Also turning a blind eye to DDs hugging their friends goodbye as we left school that afternoon.

That first 8pm address by Boris. Anxiety swept over me and it felt awful.

Shutting down work, a hotel, in March and having to tell guests they had to leave that evening.

Going to the drive through test centre. It was like something from a movie with big white tents everywhere. Swabbing my DDs was horrific.

OH testing positive and then getting texts to say myself and both DDs has tested positive for covid. I was so scared for them. They were absolutely fine though.

Having to cancel our wedding. Twice. Even when we were allowed 15 guests that didn't cover the family we wanted there. It's going to be a hell of a party once we finally get around to it. Fingers crossed for summer 2022!

A lot of mine have already been said but:-
How totally terrifying March 16-23rd was- but also how resilient people are and that we adjusted pretty quickly after that hideous week of ever changing news- I still remember jogging past an old neighbour on the 23rd who was in his front garden and he said 'bloody hell I'm so bored already' and it was the first time I'd laughed in days and it made me calm down and realise that things were terrible but it wasn't an apocalypse.
Making pancakes every Sunday for the kids in lockdown one to try and make the weekends a bit special and constantly checking how much flour I had left
No entry tape on playgrounds
The first Thursday clap
Rainbows in windows

@Tyranttoddler
When they closed the schools last March and by the Friday of the closure there were very few children left in our large secondary school. We walked them to the gates when the bell went and I didn't see most of them again, as I got a new job for the September. I cried that day; things seemed much more scary and unknown back then.
Mine is along similar lines.

The day the schools closed last March, I decided to have a fun day for my Year 6’s just to lighten the mood. We played games, dances, sang etc, etc, no work was done that day. I tried to keep cheerful when inside it all seemed very scary at that time. After they had all left that day, my TA and I had a bit of a cry together wondering if we’d see them back in school before High School and worried about their health and families. I never got to say goodbye to them, as they didn’t come back to school, just moved on to High School. I’m so glad I made the last minute decision to party that day as they hopefully have happy memories of their last day in school.

Brilliant thread OP. We made a scrapbook to remember it all. I remember being at work in March and getting a sinking feeling and worrying about all the panic buying but not wanting to be part of it, luckily a colleagues husband worked in the food distribution area and put my mind at rest. Seeing the deaths going up, THAT Boris Johnson speech, constant anxiety attacks, a young woman shying away from my kids when we were walking like they were radioactive. Queuing outside and inside Boots for hours, enjoying a socially distanced VE Day with the neighbours until a woman stopped her car in front of us to call us murderers! Year 6 being allowed back and the joy it gave them. My young relative dying of a complication of Covid then another dying a month later (unrelated to Covid) lockdown funerals, still can’t really find the words. People being so lovely and others being so cruel. Going into Tier 4 then being Locked down entirely again.

The one thing I will never forget is how awful the MSM and social media have portrayed all this, scare mongering headlines, the people who spout utter crap with out reading further into things, the lack of critical thinking a lot of people have and taking everything they read in the papers at face value. Also how I can’t believe it is illegal to see your family and how very different the lockdowns are in every country, in some EU countries some non essential shops stayed open, you could have a limited number of people in your home etc but here there is no leeway or give at all and yet there are still people who grudge people exercising and want the army patrolling the streets