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Run out of optimism

21 replies

Onedaysomedaynowadays · 13/02/2021 14:10

Just that really, could use a handhold.

Covid hasn't been terrible for us. Nobody we know has died or anything and a lot of people have had it and recovered fine which is a relief.
But financially it's been chaos. DP has been on furlough since March and likely facing redundancy next month. He's gone from a happy easy going guy to quiet and withdrawn. He loves his job and is really struggling being out of work. He's volunteering locally which gives him some purpose but it's not many hours a week and I think he feels a bit useless. I also lost all my work in Lockdown 1, I was freelance and I watched my workload evaporate overnight. I'll never forget watching Matt Hancock give a press conference saying no help for self employed people like me. It was terrifying. But I fought tooth and nail to find work and managed to get some temp stuff over the summer which kept a roof over our heads. I've now got something permanent which I'm very glad about.
My mum has really struggled. Her anxiety has gone through the roof and she won't leave the house. We've only seen her once in the last year when we sat in her garden for a couple of hours last summer. My best friend is in a bad way too and now having to be medicated for MH issues. I miss my lovely sunny mate and it breaks my heart a bit everytime I speak to her. I don't really know how to help either of them and it worries me all the time.
I hate my job and it's really hard to do from home but the office is closed and unlikely to open for many months.
I feel constantly hemmed in and claustrophobic in our tiny house and it takes greater and greater willpower not to pop round to have a cuppa with a friend. I know I can't go in her house but I really really just want to throw caution to the wind and give up for a few hours!
I just feel broken. I really miss the old world, my job, my mates, my happy DH.
I stupidly thought the vaccine would give us a way out and even that now seems unlikely.
Just want to pull the duvet over my head and give up Sad

OP posts:
RhubarbTea · 13/02/2021 14:20

I feel much the same OP, it is really hard. It comes in waves for me although the waves of hopelessness seem a bit more often/closer together lately.
I don't have any advice except have a cry if you need to, curl up in a ball and then distract yourself with something inane to give your brain a break for a bit. I hope things get easier for us all soon. Flowers

firstimemamma · 13/02/2021 14:29

No words op, I'm really sorry Thanks

Mindymomo · 13/02/2021 14:43

Can you meet your Mum or your friend and go for a walk with them, if they are struggling it’s ok to visit.

ssd · 13/02/2021 14:46

Same here. I'm not even dressed Blush

TwirpingBird · 13/02/2021 14:52

I feel for you OP. Its very hard. I was a crumbling mess last week, especially at the thought that the vaccine isnt going to give us the ability to see friends and family.

I have felt better since I decided that from mid March-ish time I will start seeing my friends again, outdoors, even if it breaks the rules, and I wont stop seeing people if we go back into another lockdown if these vaccines dont work against other strains. I dont have an option for a bubble, and no family, so I decided to put a small bit of myself first if this is our lives for the foreseeable. Many would disagree with me, but giving myself that end date has done wonders for my MH. I am functioning again.

WhittlingIhopMonkey · 13/02/2021 15:00

If I was struggling mentally as badly as you OP I'd be seeing a friend or friends, absolutely no question.

Your post starts with "hasnt been terrible" then proceeds to describe a harrowing set of circumstances that would destroy anyones mental health. Maybe you didnt get covid but it definitely "has been terrible"

Your financial situation and everything else is too much to cope with alone. From where I'm standing the risk to your mental wellbeing of continuing as you are outweighs any downside of "rule breaking"

Mind yourself x

santanddec · 13/02/2021 15:01

Yep, same here OP. Sorry you are also feeling this way Flowers

I don't even have anything major to moan about and in many ways I've been one of the lucky ones. I think I bought into the whole 'we'll go back to normal after vaccines' talk but since the new variants hit it's dawned on me that we aren't going to be able to control this for a very long time. I don't like the idea of trying to live with covid 'like flu' and that we'll come to an 'acceptable' level of deaths from it even though realistically that's the only way forward. Covid is way more infectious than flu and seems to attack organs in a very different way and there is long Covid to worry about. I just cannot imagine doing anything in a crowd again and feel like my life is over (I'm not even 40).

Pyewhacket · 13/02/2021 15:12

The vaccine is already having a profound effect and both infection rates and admissions are falling. The more who are vaccinated the more the effects of Covid are mitigated. All indications are that the economy will ounce back strongly with an uptake in employment. I can see every reason to be both hopeful and enthusiastic and I’m a Critical Care Nurse. I’m looking at taking a holiday and I haven’t had a day off since March. Apart from when a horse stood on my foot.

DuchessofHastings1 · 13/02/2021 15:13

Flowers so sorry OP. Its awful, it really is. Your not alone. I have felt like this on days. I have been my friends and family just fall apart and I'm holding myself together as it is.
This site and the media make it worse. When people play lockdowns down as if were missing the the pub.

The government know people are getting angsty now. They know people wont put up with this for much longer. Hopefully the road map on 22nd might give you some clarity.

DuchessofHastings1 · 13/02/2021 15:15

@Pyewhacket

The vaccine is already having a profound effect and both infection rates and admissions are falling. The more who are vaccinated the more the effects of Covid are mitigated. All indications are that the economy will ounce back strongly with an uptake in employment. I can see every reason to be both hopeful and enthusiastic and I’m a Critical Care Nurse. I’m looking at taking a holiday and I haven’t had a day off since March. Apart from when a horse stood on my foot.
That's what I'm clinging to but it's hard when you look at 'mutant variants are deadlier' all the bloody time .
Onedaysomedaynowadays · 13/02/2021 15:26

I think the hardest part are many of my friends and all my family are at least 2 hours away so I'm not allowed to go that far to see them and even if I could some of them involve an overnight stay due to distance.
I walk with my next door neighbour sometimes and drove 7 miles to meet a friend in her local park last weekend but I was a bit jumpy in case the police stopped me - they didn't!

OP posts:
Onedaysomedaynowadays · 13/02/2021 15:28

@Pyewhacket

The vaccine is already having a profound effect and both infection rates and admissions are falling. The more who are vaccinated the more the effects of Covid are mitigated. All indications are that the economy will ounce back strongly with an uptake in employment. I can see every reason to be both hopeful and enthusiastic and I’m a Critical Care Nurse. I’m looking at taking a holiday and I haven’t had a day off since March. Apart from when a horse stood on my foot.
Thank you for this. I feel like if someone in your shoes feels optimistic then I should do too.

Thanks for all you've done for us all 💖

OP posts:
RhubarbTea · 13/02/2021 15:30

I don't really have any friends in my immediate neighbourhood either OP, and that has been one of the hardest things about the pandemic. I'm kicking myself for that now. Most people I am close to are a few towns away or further, hundreds of miles in some cases.

Pyewhacket · 13/02/2021 15:37

Duchess - all vaccines are effective against the new variants. Current vaccines can be modified to counter mutations. Rapid Covid gnome testing will track Covid developments. Antivax scaremongering on social media is just arse water.

Onedaysomedaynowadays · 14/02/2021 11:03

I'm going to meet a friend in a central London park for a walk today. It's equidistant for both of us. No idea if the police will stop me but just going to be honest if they do

OP posts:
TwirpingBird · 14/02/2021 11:10

@Onedaysomedaynowadays

I'm going to meet a friend in a central London park for a walk today. It's equidistant for both of us. No idea if the police will stop me but just going to be honest if they do
Good for you!

My sis travels the tube every day for work. She never gets asked why she is travelling. I am sure you will be fine. Tell us later how you got on.

Onedaysomedaynowadays · 14/02/2021 12:52

@TwirpingBird thanks for the support, I'm hoping it will go ok! 🤞

OP posts:
Onedaysomedaynowadays · 14/02/2021 12:54

Feel 100 times better already just getting proper clothes on and leaving the house!

OP posts:
ssd · 14/02/2021 19:42

That's great @Onedaysomedaynowadays

Hope you had a good day

Onedaysomedaynowadays · 14/02/2021 20:21

I did! My friend announced she was pregnant so we celebrated with coffee and cake on our walk. It's really brightened me up ❤️

OP posts:
ssd · 14/02/2021 20:36

Och that's lovely

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