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Original poster

Putting dog to sleep but i can't think of any other way not to break the law

70 replies

LJRT · 10/02/2021 13:01

We have to put our 14.5 year old lab to sleep :( I am in a bit of a dilema though. I need childcare for the 2 young kids (7 and 4) as they can't come with me nor would I want them to.

For all this time whilst we've had covid around I've been very sure and certain to stick to the rules and not put others at risk. We unfortunately caught covid a few months back and its something i wouldn't wish on anyone, I have never wanted to include my parents or other people for childcare and put them at risk and as i am at home I can do the childcare. But now im in a situation where I cant think of any other way.
My husband works away but he wants to be there also which the vet will allow. I also definelty want to be there. So who's going to have the kids????

My parents don't want to be there when it happens so I can't ask them to take him. I've absolutely no idea it doesn't sit well with me and I do feel I'm breaking the law but I don't know what else to do and I don't want him put to sleep at home with the kids around either.

Please no nasty comments this dog has been in our family for 14.5 years its very sad times right now

OP posts:
Chloemol · 10/02/2021 13:55

You are allowed childcare support, can a friend have them if your parents can’t?

Bluetrews25 · 10/02/2021 13:59

I'm so sorry, OP.
This hurts so much.
Echoing others, can the vet come to you? (This is what we did, long time pre covid, and she was PTS in her favourite place outside with us all around her.) I hope you can find a way for both of you to be there for your loved DDog.
Flowers

thelittlestrhino · 10/02/2021 14:04

OP - sorry about the dog. Agree that if you both need to be there (and if the vets are allowing multiple people) then you will need to use GPs. If the children are going to be upset too, would it not be better for one of you to stay with them and say your 'goodbyes' before the vet visit?

@LimitIsUp it doesn't always go smoothly. Having been present at hundreds of PTS with different animals, due to work, sometimes they slip away quietly. Sometimes they don't, and it can be traumatic even as an adult who is not emotionally attached to the animal.

ArchbishopOfBanterbury · 10/02/2021 14:07

I'm sorry. Sad day.

You really don't need to both be there, though I understand you want to. Saying goodbye at home, with the kids, would probably be better all round.

You could create a childcare bubble, but it's such a short time, and there are two parents available. I wouldn't.

Wetcappuccino · 10/02/2021 14:09

I think the best solution in a difficult time is to ask you parents to watch your kids for an hour. I disagree that letting your kids be present is a gentle way for them to learn about death - it is traumatic. I am shielding and would not have any issues asking for help from my parents in this situation.

Original poster
LJRT · 10/02/2021 14:09

Thanks for your views if my parents are happy with it but there also very anxious about catching covid ill just have to ask them to do the childcare.if not I think like others say husband will have to stay at home

OP posts:
IrishGirl2020 · 10/02/2021 14:12

Agree with other posters. You can form a childcare bubble so that means you can leave children with a friend for the purposes of informal childcare.
Or you can book a paid babysitter/childcare. All of that is permitted in England as far as I’m aware. I know plenty of people doing both.

Zakana · 10/02/2021 14:31

This is an occasion to bend the COVID rules just to allow you time with your dog when the time comes, and to be there at the end. I am so sorry, it’s a hideous thing to have to go through, but your dog is a fine old age for a Labrador.

Nothing else supportive to say, sending 💐

Shedbuilder · 10/02/2021 14:36

We had our vet come and put our dog to sleep in the garden in the summer. We have one of those pop-up gazebo-type-things and put out chairs, a table, rugs on the ground and the dog's favourite bed – and also a big washing-up-bowl of hot water, soap and fresh towels for the vets. Everything was sprayed with Detail spray and we all wore masks.

It was lovely: peaceful and calm and all over very quickly and comfortably for the dog, who lay eating chicken pieces from my hand, oblivious to what was happening. Wish I could go that way, comfy and relaxed, eating my favourite food. I think they charged extra but it was worth it.

Imloosingmyshit · 10/02/2021 14:39

Flowers so sorry for you. I think you can have someone watch the kids. Someone who can stay, wear a mask, and be nice to the kids. Don’t think you’re breaking rules. Life is happening around Covid, and they don’t have rules for every conceivable circumstance. Most of us are trying our best to be safe and sensible. Sound like your one of those people.

LazyName · 10/02/2021 14:57

Sad so sorry about your dog I hope you can find someone to look after your children if your parents don’t want to, it isn’t illegal to have someone for childcare and this is an exceptional circumstance anyway you can’t not be with your dog at the end Flowers

DavidsSchitt · 10/02/2021 14:58

Why are people saying "bend the rules" - it is allowed!

Doesn't have to be your parents OP, a friend could watch them for you

Myshinynewname · 10/02/2021 15:04

Hi OP, I'm really sorry to hear about your dog. Before you make too many plans I think it might be best to talk to your vet and ask whether they are allowing multiple people to stay for the appointment as not all are. If only one of you is allowed to take him in then the other will be able to stay with the children.

BestZebbie · 10/02/2021 15:06

Are you actually going to be able to be there yourself?
I thought vets took the pet inside and treated them there while you had to wait outside?
If they could do it in the car in the car park so you and your DH can stand beside the pet then could you all go in the car then the children just back off to one side enough for the vet to work for the time it takes?

GetOffYourHighHorse · 10/02/2021 15:50

Sorry about your dog op, we have always had dogs so I know how hard it is Flowers.

If your parents are anxious it is unfair to ask them. In this situation I would just go alone or send dh. Also as a pp said you probably won't be both be able to go in anyway.

LimitIsUp · 10/02/2021 15:55

@thelittlestrhino

OP - sorry about the dog. Agree that if you both need to be there (and if the vets are allowing multiple people) then you will need to use GPs. If the children are going to be upset too, would it not be better for one of you to stay with them and say your 'goodbyes' before the vet visit?

@LimitIsUp it doesn't always go smoothly. Having been present at hundreds of PTS with different animals, due to work, sometimes they slip away quietly. Sometimes they don't, and it can be traumatic even as an adult who is not emotionally attached to the animal.

Gosh, I had no idea that it could be anything other than peaceful. I hope your dog has a gentle passing Flowers
LimitIsUp · 10/02/2021 15:56

Sorry - that last sentence was for the OP

bumbleymummy · 10/02/2021 15:58

We’ve had the vet vine out to us before.

Can one of your parents not come to the house to look after the children? You’re allowed childcare and if you’ve already had covid a couple of months ago then you’re not putting them at risk.

Flowers saying goodbye is heartbreaking.

Toorapid · 10/02/2021 16:00

You can ask anyone, if your parents can't do it, without breaking any rules. See if a friend can take them for a run round the park?

coastergirl · 10/02/2021 17:20

I broke the rules for a similar reason. A few weeks before Christmas, my lovely little cat became suddenly extremely ill. I was in the last couple of days of a period of isolation, having been in contact with a positive case. I'd had a negative test myself. It was a Sunday night and I had to rush him to the emergency vets half an hour away. I'm a single mum with two young boys who were in bed asleep. My lovely neighbour came over at a moments notice and sat with the boys while I rushed my cat to the vet. The next day I broke isolation again when I drove out to the vets and held my cat on my lap in the car, while he was put to sleep 😭 The vets were incredibly understanding and kind. I told them I was in isolation and had a negative test, and they agreed I should come. Slightly different situation to yours, but I would absolutely ask someone to watch your children so you can be with your lovely dog at the end. I'm so sorry.

Spodge · 10/02/2021 17:52

No advice, but I am very sorry you are having to do this.

Bumblebee1980a · 10/02/2021 18:09

Ask your parents. I absolutely would, especially in these circumstances.

Sending a virtual hug. Feeling tearful for you - they're a member of your family Thanks

Bumblebee1980a · 10/02/2021 18:10

I meant ask your parents to be with their grandchildren x

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 10/02/2021 19:25

could you not all go to the vets, (not all inside) you or DH stay with dog, the other takes the children for a walk, and meet back at vets or nearby park?
Had to take a sickly chicken last summer - had to stay in the waiting room, not allowed in the surgery area. They are only separated by a single door, but it was sad not to give her a last cuddle.

ClaudiaWankleman · 10/02/2021 19:33

Break the law. Laws aren't right or moral just because they exist. In this situation it's right to break it.

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