Under house arrest

[alpenguin]

I want to start by saying I fully support the need for lockdown and am complying fully as someone who is shielding.

That said I feel like I’m under house arrest on Groundhog Day - only my kids (10&3)are under house arrest with me. They’re bored. I’m Bored. Their dad skips away off to the freedom of work not seeing them for four days a week and he keeps himself ‘busy’ the three days he is here so I’m still left with the kids almost all of the time. I can’t go out when the weathers like this as I have mobility problems so I’m properly stuck here & have been since before Christmas. And now we’re on half term so the weekend boredom just extends into weekday boredom, except now my OH is working nightshift this week and we all have to be extra quiet.

I’m so low right now. I don’t want to take antidepressants because it’s purely due to being locked down in the house with no respite and nothing to do. I have no friends to turn to and my family don’t like to hear anything other than positivity so I just have to sit at home alone feeling crap knowing that each day that arrives is exactly the same as the ones that went before it.

I’m so lonely despite being surrounded by two wonderful humans.

Sorry for the moan. I just needed to get it off my chest

Moan away!

Even if you know you're fundamentally OK, there come times which are tough or tedious (or both). And time is a bit unreal when the days are so same-y and many of the things that mark the passing of seasons haven't happened at all, or are happening in modified form, or at the wrong time.

I am cross on your behalf that your DH is not pulling his weight when he is not WOH. Have you spelt it out to him what is wrong?

We have conversations about it reasonably often and he promises to help but then he finds a reason to need to go to the supermarket or out with the dogs again or batch cook food only he likes. The problem is I have nowhere to go when he’s helping with the kids we only have a small house so I have the choice of my bedroom which is tiny and no tv or the sitting room with everyone in it. When it’s the sorting room the kids come to
Me because that’s whst they’re used to and he sits on his fucking phone aimlessly scrolling through social media

Completely understand and I feel the same.

For the sake of my own mental health I have to have a time limit on this. I can't go on as we are for much longer.
I have given myself until Easter. That's my line in the sand and the point when I will break the rules if they are still in place. I need to see my closest family and friends, my DC need to see theirs, my 6yo is struggling massively.
And that line is all that's getting me through at the moment.

Can you find something that you can enjoy with your children?
I'm a gamer and my ds is too. It's only two of us during the day, so we game together and never get bored.
In the evening we watch the film together every night, literally every night. Sometimes dh joins with film watching, sometimes just us two. But days go so quickly and feels like we don't have enough time.

Brilliant Betty as a shielder taking the risk could be fatal - I’m not sure being a dead mum is better than being a miserable one.

Xero - I wish my kids were gamers that would make my life much easier. The older one is a tiktok addicts now and the younger one YouTube kids. We only have one telly and both have conniption if I try to watch ‘adult telly’ or even a film we might all enjoy.

There are so many things I could do with my time if I had no clingy kids, lockdown by myself would have been filled with reading books and creativity (much like my normal life) but when kids are wanting my constant attention and my
Youngest dumps his books on top of mine to read to him I just feel there’s not point in even trying to read & I’m too exhausted by bedtime which is currently around 9pm

Antidepressants would still likely help, even if you're depressed for "social" reasons.

Being stressed and low for a long period time actually changes your brain chemistry and ADs would change it back.

Won't get rid of the stressors but would give you a "normal" brain from which to cope with them

Moan away. Then tackle your dp. He can take on the work of doing stuff with them at least a couple of days per week.

I don’t want to take antidepressants because it’s purely due to being locked down in the house with no respite and nothing to do.
Tbh,I agree you shouldn't take ADs. It doesn't sound like you are depressed:
"There are so many things I could do with my time if I had no clingy kids, lockdown by myself would have been filled with reading books and creativity (much like my normal life)"

You seem to have a good handle on the problem:

1. "I'm bored".

2,. "he sits on his fucking phone aimlessly scrolling through social media"

1. "We only have one telly"
2. "Youngest dumps his books on top of mine to read to him I just feel there’s not point in even trying to read"

You need to address this with both your
husband and your kids. It isn't fair on you to be constantly looking after the kids while your husband just messes around on his phone.
You also need to either get another TV for your bedroom or be more strict and don't give in to the children and what they want to watch all the time.

You need to organise things so that you both get some down time (preferably an equal amount) so that you do get time to read and be creative. He needs to spend less time on his own and more time with the children.

Tbh,I agree you shouldn't take ADs. It doesn't sound like you are depressed

I agree with this too.