Bubble mixing

[lucylouz]

I've just written out a huge detailed post and before I got chance to post it deleted!

So this won't be so detailed as I'm running out of patience now 🙈 just looking for some reassurance I have done the right thing plus I need to offload somewhere...

My Mum is in our support bubble because she lives alone. I live 5 mins down the road and my sister lives over 2 hours away so makes sense she bubbles with us. I am 30 weeks pregnant. This week my mum announced that she was going to stay with my sister for a couple of nights. Stupidly I should have said there and then I didn't feel comfortable with this due to being pregnant and also cases being very high where I live at the moment. Previously I haven't known anyone personally affected by covid but one of my best friends currently has it and is really poorly so I feel like it's really been brought home to me a lot more recently. Anyway I felt like she would think I was making her chose between me and my sister and didn't want to put her in that position so I didn't say anything. But since she has been back I just can't bring myself to see her I'd feel terrible if I caught it and got really poorly so far along in the pregnancy. My OH feels very strongly about it and thinks she's acted selfishly. She messaged today to ask if she could come over and also mentioned my sister would be coming to stay with her in a couple of weeks (my sister also has a support bubble with her in-laws because she has a baby) and her OH is still working in an open plan office with goodness knows how many people. I told her today we didn't really feel she could be in our bubble anymore and we would only meet now if it was for a walk and social distance. I just feel really bad I didn't tell her this before she went. She suffers with depression and gets very lonely. She's replied and been absolutely fine about it saying she completely understands. I just feel a terrible mixture of guilt and also frustration that she's put me in this position. She's been a massive support for me during this time too as I have a 2 year old and it means we are able to get out and have a change in scenery going to see her every couple of days.

No you were 100% right. Being pregnant you cant take a risk that you or your OH get it and then it affects the birth etc. Your mom should understand that. You will feel guilty or maybe that you are being OTT but you are not. You are being sensible, and it's a tough thing to be. Well done.

Just wait 10 days while she isolates and then you'll be fine to start bubbling again. Make it clear if your sister comes the same thing will apply

I just feel really bad I didn't tell her this before she went. She suffers with depression and gets very lonely. She's replied and been absolutely fine about it saying she completely understands. I just feel a terrible mixture of guilt and also frustration that she's put me in this position.

Are you not angry and sad that you're expecting and you might not be able to have your mum there when the baby comes?

@Needsmustnow I must admit I haven't even thought about what will be happening in April when the baby arrives. I am just naively hoping things will be better by April and we will have less restrictions.

I don't mind her being in our bubble once she has been out of my sisters bubble for 10/14 days (I know technically that isn't allowed to swap bubbles) but with my sister coming to stay again in less than 14 days the situation will be same again. I just find their travelling over 2 hours into different regions when they both have support bubbles in their own area so unnecessary. But then there's a massive part of me that thinks I'm being very unreasonable asking or expecting them not to see each other. Not sure if it's my hormones but I've been feeling so tearful about it today. My Mum has been very understanding and told me not to worry about her which has made me feel even worse. Hoping I wake up tomorrow morning having found myself a grip!! 🙈

[quote lucylouz]@Needsmustnow I must admit I haven't even thought about what will be happening in April when the baby arrives. I am just naively hoping things will be better by April and we will have less restrictions.

I don't mind her being in our bubble once she has been out of my sisters bubble for 10/14 days (I know technically that isn't allowed to swap bubbles) but with my sister coming to stay again in less than 14 days the situation will be same again. I just find their travelling over 2 hours into different regions when they both have support bubbles in their own area so unnecessary. But then there's a massive part of me that thinks I'm being very unreasonable asking or expecting them not to see each other. Not sure if it's my hormones but I've been feeling so tearful about it today. My Mum has been very understanding and told me not to worry about her which has made me feel even worse. Hoping I wake up tomorrow morning having found myself a grip!! 🙈[/quote]
No OP. You dont need to get a grip. My MIL did this to us 2 weeks before I was due DD2 in November, and they were meant to be minding my DD while I was in labour. They just didnt think and saw my SIL whose DH works in an office, she works in a cafe, and her DS goes to nursery. I was sp angry and upset. They just didnt consider the risk to me or the baby. Your mom should be considering you right now. Fobbing you off and telling you not to worry is ridiculous. Of course you are going to worry. Leaving 14 days between her seeing your DS and seeing you is smart, but maybe start thinking a little more about what you want when your baby arrives in april and speak to your mom about it so she knows if/when she can see your DS etc.

You are allowed to swap bubbles now after the isolation period, I think they brought it in in December. So it's fine to do that xx

Not sure if it's my hormones but I've been feeling so tearful about it today.

It's not your hormones and you don't need to get a grip. Personally, I find it hard to hear about people doing things like this when I'm fed up with all of the restrictions and struggling to keep them.

It's fine, your mum was OK with it. Just have a chat with her and discuss whether she is OK to have 14 days not seeing your sis before baby due. Must be hard for parents not being able to see their children equally.