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Original poster

Coping with being the bad guy guilt!

13 replies

SK2970 · 07/02/2021 13:31

I can imagine this relates to lots of people on MN but how are people coping with being the bad guy?!!
My parents have fallen out with me four/five times over them pushing boundaries with other people!! I'm heavily pregnant and we agreed that we would ALL stick to the rules so there is very little risk to baby when he arrives and they can be our support bubble (FTM and they live on the next street). Only it seems baby is taking too long to arrive (36 weeks pregnant) and my parents can't stick to it!!
I feel so guilty as it's making them chose to not see my brother and his family, but they can still go for a walk, video chat etc and do they think that I don't want to see them!! I'm missing my nieces incredibly!!
Really conflicted in my brain and feeling really miserable!! 😞😞😞

OP posts:
WhatKatyDidNxt · 07/02/2021 13:35

They are being thoughtless. Is it time to re-think your support bubble? How about other family members or friends? It’s not forever and they should be following the rules anyway.

As an aside l have COVID right now, l wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy! Never mind a pregnant woman or a tiny baby. I am struggling to get my breath and even going to the bathroom is a major under taking. You don’t need the risk of this

RogueRebel · 07/02/2021 13:36

Have you insisted on this for the whole pregnancy?
It's unclear from your post if you are in a bubble with your parents and seeing them regularly?

NailsNeedDoing · 07/02/2021 13:41

You’re only 36 weeks pregnant, how can the baby be taking too long to arrive? Your plan sounds like a good one if both you and your parents want to be able to see each other in your baby’s very first days, but I think insisting they isolate from 36 weeks is a bit extreme.

What boundaries are they pushing that’s worrying you?

Meredithgrey1 · 07/02/2021 13:41

Only it seems baby is taking too long to arrive (36 weeks pregnant) and my parents can't stick to it!!

How long have you asked them to stick to it that they’ve fallen out with you four or five times over it?
And what capacity are they seeing your nieces in? As childcare? Or just mixing with the family as a whole?

OverTheRainbow88 · 07/02/2021 13:44

You can’t expect your parents to choose of one their children over another , and the same for grandkids

peboh · 07/02/2021 13:44

Are you asking that they not see their other grandchildren?
All they would need to do is isolate for 10 days before they meet your baby. I can't imagine why you've asked them to stay away from your brother this early? How long has this been asked of them?

arethereanyleftatall · 07/02/2021 13:44

Sorry - are you saying your parents aren't and haven't been allowed to see their son and other grandkids so that they can see your baby who isn't due for another month?

WhatKatyDidNxt · 07/02/2021 13:45

I interpreted the 36 week comment as a joke?!

MissDollyMix · 07/02/2021 13:48

Sorry but I think your parents need to prioritise seeing their grandchildren who are actually here (your brother’s children) right now. Once your baby is here they can (after a suitable period) see him and help you but to be fair I think they should be allowed to spend time with their other grandchildren now. Unless I’m missing something?

ButtonMoonPie · 07/02/2021 13:57

Do I understand if correctly that they're seeing your bro and nieces inside and you've asked them to only meet outside?

If that's the case your pregnancy is neither here nor there as that's what they should be doing anyway to stick to national guidelines

Honeybobbin · 07/02/2021 14:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
SK2970 · 07/02/2021 16:14

Thanks all - I am BU!
I haven't insisted on anything - we agreed together as a family that we would stick to the rules of the law only.
I can't have a support bubble right now and My brother and his family can't have one either and don't need one for childcare as both not currently working.
They are pushing the boundaries by going into each other's houses as if it's completely normal times! They are risking each other's lives, it's not about mine or baby! I feel the bad guy for not joining in on the fun times - despite it being all I want to do!

OP posts:
peboh · 07/02/2021 17:40

@SK2970

Thanks all - I am BU! I haven't insisted on anything - we agreed together as a family that we would stick to the rules of the law only. I can't have a support bubble right now and My brother and his family can't have one either and don't need one for childcare as both not currently working. They are pushing the boundaries by going into each other's houses as if it's completely normal times! They are risking each other's lives, it's not about mine or baby! I feel the bad guy for not joining in on the fun times - despite it being all I want to do!
Wether they are risking their lives or not though, it's a choice they're making as grown adults. Yes this is against the guidance, but I'm not getting into that as that's another topic. You're not the bad guy for not getting involved. However I think agreeing that your parents shouldn't see their other grandchild whilst you're still pregnant is unreasonable.
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