Has anyone managed to get a struggling child back into school?

[Belleende]

My 5 y.o. Dd is really struggling. This week has taken to refusing to leave the house. Will only do any work after a monumental battle. Really missing her peers. We had bubbled with another mum but she had family move near and is now bubbling with them, so we have no regular contact with other kids, just who we bump into in the park.

She is showing signs of anxiety, tics and obsessing about certain things. She is summer born, and I have questioned whether she might have some learning difficulties, the jury is still out on that one.

We have now minimised the school stuff, focusing on the basics, she also has a day off on Wednesdays.

I can't think of what else will help her apart from going back to school, but I don't know if it is reasonable to ask. Anyone have any experience to share? This all sucks so much.

I would just out and out ask OP. I should think that reception will be back 8th March anyway which is still a way off but at least a half term break from any home learning (even if I don't do it it's there)

Say what you've said here and ask if there is any room at all you'd really appreciate if she could be considered for a few sessions

@Orangesandlemons82

Yes, my son is struggling much more than my daughter and I am really concerned about him mentally. I spoke to the deputy headteacher last week and he straight away suggested he returned. He will be going back on Monday to see if that improves things. I think the criteria of a 'vulnerable' Child is much wider than it was.

And also as the general Covid climate improves some places are a bit happier increasing numbers where possible I think.

You're not alone, if it's any consolation I think very many (if not most?) children are struggling like this. Mine are on screens all day (no live lessons) and rarely do the worksheets sent. It's a huge struggle to get them to leave the house, even with the promise of seeing a friend. It's hard to get them engaged with anything (other than that a screen). I've come to the conclusion that we just need to muddle through, try not to feel guilty for the work that isn't done, and not to stress . Hopefully the end is in sight.

Yes, mine has been in throughout as a vulnerable child due to her anxiety. Her school have been amazing in supporting their vulnerable children- buying extra counselling resources and now are inviting in children who they know are struggling. Key worker children are asked to limit their attendance to days parents need the childcare so that as many vulnerable children as possible can attend. They asked mine to attend full time given how badly she was affected staying home in the first lockdown in spring. Their suggestion I didn’t have to ask but one of my friends asked for her child to attend as a vulnerable child one day a week at another school which was allowed as they were both struggling.
OP - it would be worth asking directly what support they can offer- we have a a school counsellor at our primary

Belleende Other than having her in school, what would you like the school to do?
You seem to be saying that you don't want more work and that you are not bothering with the wider curriculum. What would help?

Could you ask the school if they have staff available for regular phone calls/video calls 1:1, my ds was really struggling and the t.a from his year group calls him twice a week and he loves chatting away to her. They then did also find a space for him once a week, once they could see how much he was struggling. So it might be worth trying to start with calls and see if they will build up to sessions in school.

Other things that I have found that have helped is letting him pick the lessons, we've done topics on all kinds of things 'pokemon, den building, sea creatures'

Oh and if you have an family members or friends that have time to facetime, get her to read to them, or show of a painting etc...

I bought my daughter this book

www.theworks.co.uk/p/kids-colouring-books/no-worries-mindful-kids/9781787410879.html

@Mudmudingloriousmud

i don't think it will impact them most of them who have stable ish supportive families - children are resilient and normally just accept and go with the flow - many bounced back after the last lock down .

Op shes young but have you thought about computer games? Get her into minecraft - building and creating worlds? Supports many maths skills - learning about the world...

or animal jam - run by the national geographic? They can choose to be animals,....visit different lands..

Don’t dismiss kids- children struggling has nothing to do with unsupportive home lives, it’s to do with every fucking thing they love and all social contact being removed from them for near on a year!

Very sorry for you OP, I know not one child that hasn’t (double negative) been affected negatively, sadly you will not be in the minority, hence why you may struggle to get her a place. Best of luck!

My 5yo DS in Y1 is back in under the vulnerable child criteria due to similar issues in the first lock down. It got to the point where I sent a long email detailing how he wasn't coping just so they knew and asked if they could give me ideas of things that might help. The head and class teacher came to see him that evening, the learning support person was in weekly email contact with ideas but they couldn't offer a space at that time. I assumed that this lock down would be the same but on the second day, after I assume they had sorted key worker places, they rang me to offer him a space based on how he was last time.

@cansu

Belleende Other than having her in school, what would you like the school to do? You seem to be saying that you don't want more work and that you are not bothering with the wider curriculum. What would help?

It's not that she's "not bothering" her child isn't receptive to it and struggles - 5 is very young to be home learning I have a lot of difficulty with it to.

You should definitely try asking OP. Several children at our school managed to get a place because their parents made a lot of fuss at the start and said their 6 year old couldn’t cope with online learning. I know one mother cried on the phone to the Head. She wasn’t going to take no for an answer!

As others have said, it may depend how busy the school already is. They might say it’s only a few more weeks so she’ll have to wait.

The point was what does she want the school to do? From what she has posted, school set work in all curriculum subjects and have regular zooms as a class. I am genuinely asking what she thinks the school can do. In many of these threads, people are looking to the school to resolve all these issues which are about struggling with lockdown. Schools cannot resolve every problem. Schools which are providing for vulnerable and key worker children and providing remote learning are doing what they can. If the OP can think of something the school can do to help, then she should ask about that.

I would also add that doing art and music etc are actually very beneficial for well-being. The children I work with get a great deal out of these subjects. Making collages; painting; model making, lego etc are valuable activities to get involved in and enjoy.

Yes. Ds6 in year 1 started back last Monday. He had been struggling to engage with school work at home and his behaviour and emotional well-being was worsening. We had tried with work, different ways, less work, teacher had sent simplified work but wasn’t working. He struggled last year and was behind, despite efforts to catch up. He was falling further behind. Emotionally he was struggling and had turned a corner in December but school closing again set him back. He was angry, rage, had begun to show aggression which he has never previously done. Not sleeping, anxious and becoming ocd about germs, hygiene all of which was distressing for him but affecting his 3 siblings too.
His teacher was aware and had discussed with headteacher. We called her and had a lengthy chat after a particularly difficult morning. We suggested keeping going until half term but she insisted he came back immediately for his well-being and so as to not fall further behind.

His sister is still homeschooling and is getting on well now too as it was having an adverse effect on her, however she is one of 4 not in her class so returning wasn’t an option for her.

I wouldn’t say we made a fuss, quite honest with teacher from the start. A few others returned in his class last week to for similar reasons. If your daughter is struggling speak to the school ask for help or for a place.

My nephew now goes in 2 days a week due to anxiety issues.
However he was already being assessed and diagnosed before covid, so there was the paperwork to show this wasn't just linked to covid, etc.

Whether your child can have a place in school, and how many days, may well depend on the take up in your school. If the class is already high numbers it will be unlikely, but if he is in a class with low take up they may well consider it.

Be warned though, if they do offer him a place, it may not necessarily be in his normal classroom, with his normal teacher or with his normal classmates. It depends on how the school is working and numbers ime. So that's something to check if you feel it might cause more issues or not.

Re the work.
This is the age I teach as I work in infants.
We have to set the full curriculum but my personal thoughts are, for this age group, to focus in key stuff and then follow your child's interests.

So daily, of at all possible:
5-10 minutes - phonics practise.
Daily reading - them reading to you and a bedtime story from you to them (or an audio book, CBeebies story time if struggling)
Every day maths - you could look at the concepts being taught that week and just incorporate them into daily activities.
Daily writing for 5-10 min.

For example:
Last week in EYFS we looked at the number 9, a circle and the concept was capacity. So every day tasks could be the number 9 number blocks programme, the numberblocks app/game online, capacity by using jugs and beakers in the bath, circles hunt in house.

Year 1 was directions and position. So daily games could be pretending to be a robot and telling each other to turn, move forward/backward, etc; a computer game such as jit5 turtle or Kodak etc/Beebot, drawing a maze.

In English last week reception were reading the gingerbread man. Activities at home could be to retell the story, make a puppet from craft, bake a gingerbread man (lots of maths in that too), listen to story online, use a phone/text/voice message to 'interview' the fox, etc.
Year 1 were looking at non fiction books and key features. Chose a topic of interest and write 1-2 sentences a day with a picture. May not be the school,work but it's writing, using capital let's and full stops, etc.

Then let them pick and choose from the non core subjects if something takes their fancy or let them do their own stuff. Most children's home activities at age 5 are learning opportunities. Board games, Lego, role play, playing with dolls, cars, etc.

@cansu she needs contact with her peers. She is lonely and bored and gradually losing all motivation. And this is a child who usually has the energy of a nuclear reactor.

She needs her parents to be her parents, not her teachers as well. We are of course doing lots of art and singing and dancing and make and do, but even that she is losing enthusiasm for. I just looked at the bright and vibrant pictures she was doing at the start of lockdown and noticed how dark and minimal her latest creations are .

I expect the school to have protocols in place to provide additional assistance for kids who are struggling. I want at least some attempt from the school to reach out to her. It seems like plenty of other schools are managing to do this and I don't think it is too much to expect.

I know we are not alone, I know there will be few kids who come out of this unscathed, but I am properly worried about her.

Only 5 years so why not do an hour of reading and 30 minutes of number bonds each morning and then do some nice things together for the rest of the day

Focus on things like walking three miles a day discovering new routes, planning and making new meals together, listening to podcasts while cleaning together, having a craft project on the go

As far as I'm aware it is only for children who are classed as vulnerable or if they have additional support needs which has the paperwork required along with certain action plans.

My child who is autistic is back in school as was struggling far too much with online work but there was a diagnosis made many years ago and the school had already had support in place for her routinely while there and there is also the certain additional support needs plans in place.

There was no problem at all when I asked as I explained what exactly was going on and how much struggling there was and was unable to do work. Also fact is in a key year also meant that it is important.

At five years old I do think it will be a whole lot harder to get back into school due to their work being completely different to the work needed by later years for example. They could also possibly be needing to keep some spaces for just in case any additional support needs children and/or vulnerable children need to go back.

You could try various different things with her that still helps with learning but done in a different way. Trying to find a certain number of certain items on a walk, reading together with favourite books and practice doing some writing together. There are lots of other things that can be done as well to help learning.

I do feel sorry for what you're going through but she is only five so I wouldn't be putting lots of focus on the work or anything like that as wellbeing comes first and the teachers will understand about it being a massive shock to the system for such a young child.

Teachers are trying their best but they are stretched so thin with having to do everything it can be practically impossible to try and focus on each individual and provide exactly what each and every parent would like. It's a very tough time for them. Mine didn't hear back for a while about several things as they're having to juggle so many things.

My child was struggling to engage with online schooling and becoming more and more demotivated. The teacher noticed and invited him into school just for one week. It was the best thing for him - he loved being there and worked really well. The change in him during that week was incredible, back to his old self. Hopefully it was enough to see us through to when they go back properly.

In your case OP I would say it is definitely worth asking or at least getting in touch with the school to let them know how your DD is struggling. If they've got space they have the authority to offer it to you if they see fit. The provision is not just for key worker and vulnerable children but also those who are unable to access the learning.

Belleende
If every school allowed children back because they were missing their friends and seemed very down, there would be no lockdown.
What protocols could they have?? I am not trying to be harsh with you but I am genuinely struggling to think what the school could do other than chat with your child on the phone or do a games or online lesson session on zoom. With kids in my school who are struggling, I have done the following:
1:1 sessions on some pieces of work so with a child who seemed very unmotivated, I did her maths with her one day a week.
small group online English lesson with three kids whose work had tailed off once a week for two weeks.
We also do a daily registration google meet where we have a chat and sometimes play a game.
If these kinds of things would help your dd, write to the head and ask if they could do something like this.
I should add that none of these are protocols. It is what I can manage to fit in alongside making video lessons, marking and feeding back to children.

Arrange meetings in the park for playing. Its only 3 more weeks, then 5 year olds will be back in.