Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Tell me it's OK to be miserable

30 replies

MossandRoy · 03/02/2021 09:36

I haven't had covid as far as I know. My kids are well. But I'm starting to crumble. Another bloody day of oak academy, Google classroom, etc etc. I'm lucky in that I don't have to work, but it's just bloody the same, day in, day out. The first lock down was bearable, we could be outside, it just felt like a lovely long rest, but this is like a slow death. I'm so tired. My dd looks like she hasn't slept in months. She's grey. My ds is trying to be upbeat (they're 12 and 13) and happy as he plays minecraft/fortnight with friends after school work. Sorry to moan and whinge, but I've woken up feeling like I really have had enough. And it's OK to feel this way at the moment, isn't it?

OP posts:

AnneLovesGilbert · 03/02/2021 09:36

It’s okay

Lulu1919 · 03/02/2021 09:37

It's definitely ok
All feelings are valid

Mrsjayy · 03/02/2021 09:38

It's ok to be miserable because everyday is the bloody same. Take care

Shibees · 03/02/2021 10:13

Yes 100% ok to feel this way.

It’s rubbish and exhausting and depressing and so so so relentless “keeping the show on the road” each and every day.

Without wanting to sound sexist, I think women are the hardest hit in some ways. We are often (not always, but in most cases) the ones more able to work from home and/or part time so it falls to us to do the home schooling, run the home and continue our jobs from home with children demanding our attention. It’s relentless & exhausting & actually, not normal.

TheDailyCarbunkle · 03/02/2021 10:14

@Shibees

Yes 100% ok to feel this way.

It’s rubbish and exhausting and depressing and so so so relentless “keeping the show on the road” each and every day.

This isn't sexist, it's accurate. Various different studies have shown that women have been far more affected than men.

muddledmidget · 03/02/2021 10:20

It's definitely OK to not be OK. This lockdown has been a lot tougher than the first, we now know its not just for 3 weeks and the weather/short days/lack of natural light are getting to everyone. I have no idea how parents are managing home school and think you're all bloody amazing. Even without children/home school to worry about, I've been spending a lot of time daydreaming. Not sure if its healthy to be annoyed with my husband wanting to talk to me and me actually getting annoyed it's cutting into my story time, but it's how I'm managing at the moment. That and a good long walk whenever I'm able

StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind · 03/02/2021 10:21

Definitely ok, I'm absolutely crumbling this morning. My 8 yr old DD having problems with zoom set me off in tears. I'm supposed to be working. She and her brother are supposed to be getting a proper education.

If I didn't have my parents I'd go mad. But my thoughts are getting very dark this week. I don't value my life at all.

Rockbird · 03/02/2021 10:29

Definitely OK to be miserable. I am on a work rota (school) for two days a week. I love those two days. For once, Monday mornings are my highlight of the week. I see the children, my fab colleagues, we do our thing and have a covid secure laugh while we're doing it, I love my job.

From Wednesday to Sunday I'm utterly miserable. Despite being OK for money, having a husband and children and parents that I chat to every day, although don't see, I can't bear that part of the week. It grinds me right down.

And I've been made redundant. Yay.

MrsCaplan · 03/02/2021 10:31

Hell, yes. I revelled in my pity party yesterday. May as well do it properly. Seriously, life is TOUGH right now. Embrace your feelings. They are valid.

LadyCatStark · 03/02/2021 10:33

It’s OK and you are not alone!

Matteblack · 03/02/2021 10:44

Yes. Its utterly shit.

My DC (9 and 8) are being stars. The 9 yo is working pretty much entirely independently because the 8 yo needs a lot of input (he is generally a lot less confident).

We're at it from 8.30 until 3 or 4 every day. By the time 'school' is over its usually starting to get dark, or the weather is so shit that the pay off of a miserable, freezing cold trudge through streets or fields we've walked 1 million times before is often a full set of wet or muddy clothes for everyone. It doesn't feel worth it.

Then tea time and the endless round of clearing up from kids breakfast, snacks, lunch and dinner, cleaning the kitchen one million times a day, emptying the sodding dishwasher over and over again and trying to find something to cook that everyone wants to eat that isn't just pizza or spaghetti bolognaise.

Add to all that the fact my dad (my only remaining parent) was diagnosed with terminal cancer in the last lockdown and I have swiftly become his main carer, watching the cancer consume him as he withers from a 16.5 stone bear to a frail old man of just 11 stone in a matter of weeks...

My husband is wonderful and I know he is genuinely worried about me and my mental state but truthfully, he is out and about with his work (essential worker) staying away in hotels once or twice a week and seeing other adult humans on a regular basis because of this. His life doesn't seem to have changed that much - oh wait, he now has to make his own arrangements for breakfast as the hotel doesn't offer this now due to C-19

Matteblack · 03/02/2021 10:46

Sorry, gosh that was cathartic! Hope I didn't depress anyone too much!

Quartz2208 · 03/02/2021 10:48

Yes its normal. It currently raining like anything here both kids are trying to home school in the conversatory listening to the rain and I am trying to work whilst sat on the sofa because all the desk space has been taken by the other 3 members of my family.

Wednesday as well is always a hump day for me (Sunday is the other one) where I dip

coronafiona · 03/02/2021 11:24

@Matteblack your post totally nailed it for me you are so right! I'm so sorry about your dad. Cancer is so very cruel

Ormally · 03/02/2021 11:31

Yes. I'm already slightly nostalgic for lockdown 1 (don't worry, they sure are some thick rose-tinted lenses I seem to have acquired). Glad for the lessons coming from school this time, but the timing of them means that it's much less likely that any of us can get outdoors in the light together at the moment, and that was a great help last time. It feels like the few days after Christmas (gets heavy even before a full week has played out)...but for months!

merryhollybright · 03/02/2021 11:37

I set myself some time to wallow. Then we put a film on and get some snacks, so the DC are quiet and I can switch off.

But I try to limit that time, so the next day or when the film has finished I tell myself I've had my wallowing time. It is difficult sometimes but it does help.

for you, and anyone else who is struggling. It is shit atm.

Original poster

MossandRoy · 03/02/2021 12:00

It's good to know I'm not alone. It's just me and the kids. Weirdly I'm glad my parents are both dead, so that's one less thing to worry about! Feel free to wallow, engage in self pity, rant, rage, do what you need. You'll get no judgement from me.
Thank you everyone xx

OP posts:

SnuggyBuggy · 03/02/2021 12:02

You never need anyones permission to feel something

lightand · 03/02/2021 12:02

Smiling at your recent post.

fwiw, spring is definitely coming.

HGC2 · 03/02/2021 12:06

Yes, totally normal. Nothing in my life is as I want it to be right now and I have no control over when I will be able to make choices again. Its bloody hard, then I start worrying about the kids........

Hugs to all of us feeling it xx

YetAnotherWalk · 03/02/2021 12:44

Yes, I think it's normal too. My children are working well and coping with the change in routine, but it's miserable and boring and yet I have too much to do and too little time and it all falls to me as DH is still out doing his key worker role FT while I juggle my PT job, schooling for one (other is independent), feeding everyone endless snacks, walks in the cold/rain and most of the housework.

I've got a count down to spring on my laptop which I look at each morning - a step closer to being through the worst.
for you all.

Gottalovesummer · 03/02/2021 12:55

I am still working and my teens pretty much sort themselves out with home schooling.

But I always feel like I should be doing something when I've finished work (apart from cooking dinner). I don't usually manage to do much at all, despite having some extra free time now.

It makes me feel lazy and guilty that I'm not doing anything useful or exercising or decluttering like I did in the first lockdown.

Glad I'm not alone in feeling a bit miserable but sorry to hear of others feeling the same way.

AuntieStella · 03/02/2021 13:01

It's OK

And it will come and go. I hit the buffers a couple of weeks ago and felt completely drained and utterly flat.

But it ebbed, and even though this is never going to be carefree joy, I'm much improved.

This is a time of year that people often find a bit tough - peak time for SAD, isn't it? And even if you're nowhere near diagnosis level, feeling flat at this time of year is really common even in 'normal' years

It will pass - it's still several weeks until fully into spring but it is just round the corner.

Original poster

MossandRoy · 03/02/2021 13:35

Definitely @gottalovesummer. The guilt is huge. I'm still learning a new language but simply cannot muster the energy to do even basic housework, I'm rapidly piling on weight that I lost over the two years BC (before covid) Thankfully my dogs don't care whether they get a walk or not. My sciatic nerve is pinging painfully.
And I'm thinking SAD may be contributing even though its not something I usually encounter. It wasn't pitch black when I woke up this morning, so yes, spring is on the way.

OP posts:

YetAnotherWalk · 04/02/2021 06:24

I hope that you feel a bit better today @Gottalovesummer. I find it comes in waves so one day is bad or a few and then it gets better again.

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread