People saying ‘we’ve had a year of this’ - what did you do last summer?

[Bubbinsmakesthree]

I keep seeing people saying things like “my child hasn’t played with anyone else in a year” or “I’ve not seen any friends in a year”. I know some people have been shielding or live in areas that have had tougher restrictions for longer...but if not, what were you doing last summer?

I think I’ve been fairly cautious but we still managed holidays/trips away in the UK, lots of (socially distanced) meet ups with friends and family and my children saw lots of their friends. We’ve been to museums, meals out, swimming etc. Other than children not social distancing with each other I don’t we broke any rules. It certainly wasn’t a normal summer but in comparison with the current (really miserable) lockdown things were pretty decent.

Lots of people I know were regularly in bars, making cinema trips, foreign holidays and taking the children soft play (i drew the line well before it got to soft play myself!)

Are people forgetting what actually happened or did some people remain in voluntary lockdown all year?

We haven't had people in our house since March, or been out to a restaurant or any indoor attraction. To do so seemed spectacularly stupid. We've been for walks with friends and family, but socially distanced which can be awkward and makes it difficult to hear each other, especially if you have toddlers that keep running off and need to be kept apart.

Summer was definitely better than the winter has been, but it was hardly normal because we were trying to be careful and not get Covid. For people who didn't care, yes it was more normal... but that seeded the virus around the country ready for schools to go back in September.

DC were still required to socially distance in England, which toddlers and preschoolers can't do. So if you arranged to meet someone with another child to interact with it was in the knowledge that the kids wouldn't SD

Therefore I can see how some children who weren't at nursery may not have played with another child, if their parents weren't able to find other parents willing to meet or if they weren't comfortable breaking the rules themselves

Swimming??? Wow that sounds like the dream.
Our swimming pools closed in march and didn't open back up.

We did virtually nothing compared to normal. Worked most of the summer, sat in a few gardens and went for socially distances walks. And the NE went into local lockdown before the national one. Not as bad as GM/LCshire as we had some summer, but not much was open. We did go to softplay twice which was amazing for them.

I had a lovely long camping trip last summer with a big group of friends. More planned for this summer. One of the only activities that I guess will always be ‘safe’.

We live in an area that was under tighter restrictions for most of the last year.

I managed one meal out with friends and a handful of garden meetings for coffee. My children have each seen a friend for an afternoon once in the summer. That’s it! They have no friends nearby that they could go for a walk with or exercise with at the moment.

We had a good summer. We were hugely thankful to be able to go on holiday, eat in pub or cafe gardens and visit attractions like zoos and wildlife parks. We did allow our children to play with friends outside during the summer (only meeting one other household at a time) - I must admit, I'm a bit gobsmacked that some people didn't allow this.

We haven't been inside my CEV's mum's house for nearly a year and she hasn't hugged me or her grandchildren, which has been incredibly hard. I also really feel for people in Leicester who haven't had a break at all.

You sound like you’ve had a nice time, living in Manchester the opportunity to socialise was a couple of weeks, I saw 2 friends for an outside drink, that’s it in a year. No holidays. No putting myself or close family in situations that increased the risk of contacting covid. I stayed home in the hope this would go away.
In London you had it lucky you had months of getting out and about while the rest of the uk were still shielding isolating and in high tiers.
I’m not aware of door you door testing in Manchester whoever posted that, it was just Liverpool who did mass testing

We have had nearly a year of this though OP, why minimise it?

Yes you did all those things, which the Government permitted us to do. And funnily enough, I wonder if that’s linked to the fact that we’ve had to deal with restrictions for such a long time, in various forms, on and off 🤨🧐

Reading previous posts I realise I've been fortunate compared to many others. I'm in London, and although everywhere was very quiet it was possible to do many things during the summer. I went to art galleries, museums, sat in pub gardens, ate in restaurants and had a day by the seaside. I also went on holiday. Only ever with DH or a friend, I haven't mixed in any groups.

However I don't want to paint too rosy a picture; I work in a sector which has been decimated by the pandemic so am having to live off savings. I'm not young, and very anxious about my future. I wake up every day feeling sick and anxious.

Last summer feels slightly unreal, like it didn't happen. I think it's because we're in lockdown again and next month it'll be a year since the first lockdown started. I have a birthday in March which was during the first week of lockdown. It was a bit of a novelty, with people sympathising. Never in a million years did I think we'd be in this position nearly a year later.

We only had about 6 weeks in the summer with lighter restrictions here...however for those 6 weeks everywhere (restaurants, pubs, beaches and beauty spots etc) was absolutely packed and miserable to go to for that reason, so we stayed home on the basis that once all the kids went back to school and things were quieter, we would start going out a bit more, however a few days after school started our area went back into local lockdown.

I don't like the tone in some of these posts that some of us who have had a miserable year just needed to pull our socks up and be more positive, more creative, more optimistic.

Good for you if you've managed to make the best of it. That's lovely.

But some of us have had awful struggles. Despite our best efforts, and not because we are doom mongers or enjoy being miserable.

I'm not going to go into details and detail the thread but different living conditions, children's ages, relationship status, financial set up, job security, health concerns etc. mean that some people have experienced awful hardship, sadness and struggles.

I'm at the end of my rope. Clinging on for dear life and often realising that the only way to feel better would be for me to not be alive any more. I'd never act on that thought, but it's how I feel. Previous to this pandemic friends should describe me as strong and optimistic. But I'm broken.

Not a lot. My family live 200 miles away - we've managed two socially distanced outdoor meet-ups at a half way point this year in the brief window when this was allowed.

Apart from a brief period in the summer, we've spent most of the year either in lockdown or Tier 3.

We have had a year of it though OP.

Just because you took any drop in restrictions to go everywhere and mix with people doesn't mean everyone did.

Some of us had vulnerable relatives so didn't want to put them at risk, and plenty of us realised that it was probably a bad idea for everyone to be travelling round the country, mixing in busy places, having play dates etc.

Then factor in that many other people have had a horrendous year with ill health, family struggles, losing their jobs, furlough, might have been stuck somewhere with limited outdoor space and so on.

It's really rather obvious why people are saying we have had a year of this.

I was in the shielded, and even during the pause, followed the advice to be prudent about distancing etc.

There are over two millions of us, and yes we post about hoe tough it’s been without necessarily spelling out precise reasons why we needed to be - similar thise close to extremely vulnerable people

Yes it’s great that others had the chance to be out and about last summer.

But I’m feeling uneasy with the idea that those who can’t, have to justify themselves at every turn or post all sorts of personal detail to justify having a whinge on a bad day.

This experience is just as normal and real as that if the healthy

It’s wrong to assume only healthy people post on MN, or that they should be making health declarations at every turn.

And of course that’s posting just from pov of those vulnerable themselves - there are further millions with exceptionally vulnerable cohabitees or with caring responsibilities

Even the opening post here just wanted to shut us out from commenting on why some posters didn’t go out much during the summer. But we exist, and our experience matters too

OP I get what you mean, the summer was definitely better and some people could do more stuff. People not shielding or people who aren't shielding anyone else. Not everyone had that luxury.

At points in early summer we were down to 800 cases a day- on a population of 66 million or whatever it is. So any logical person who wasn't vulnerable wasn't being outrageous by doing a few things that were allowed. I'm the most careful person ever and I am CV, but I went to restaurants and caffes and stayed outside. I avoided crowds outside and inside.
I also travelled abroad to see family and I'm so glad I did all those things, as I would have gone crazy now otherwise. The risk ( especially at the beginning of summer ) was really low. I think 1 in 2000 people had covid at one point. It wasn't 1 in 20 (like in some London boroughs) a few months ago. People who were not shielding or shielding anyone else or unable to because of work - who didn't enjoy the summer a little bit and just stayed in their own self imposed lock down are a bit irrational in my opinion.

It’s still a year of non normality though OP
Sure you could do things within the restrictions but we couldn’t go to festivals, meet big groups of friends, have the family parties and weddings we planned
DC couldn’t attend activities they normally would, we couldn’t see our family altogether (too many) and some not at all as they lived too far away and weren’t allowed to stay the night

Throughout all the mixing we’ve still worried that we might be putting others at risk even though we are within the guidelines

Great that you had a good summer but this is what people mean when they say they’ve had a year of this

DD and I seemed to do lots of picnics in parks, as OH was/is shielding

Nothing. Not left the house once.

Oh, I tell a lie. I sat on the front doorstep once while my husband trimmed the hedge.

(Tbh, that's not really any different than normal.)

I got married.
I'm in the uk.
Married in August in my dream venue.
We had a garden party at home afterwards which was more a small gathering with friends and we made it as safe as possible.
I loved it

We had 2 U.K. holidays over the summer.
Daughter played outside with the neighbourhood kids.
Had picnics in the park with friends.
Had outdoor visits to see my sister and nieces (who have strictly shielded, even though don't need to).
Been on walks with friends.
August to November had pub meet up with friends and we are Midlands.

Summer was relatively normal, kids did play with each other, they had been in a key worker bubble in school together!

We had a good summer too, went on 2 UK holidays as a family and visited in-laws. Went out for a meal once and met some friends to play music together in a garden once. Not completely normal but not bad. Nice weather helped.

Is Staying Home different to staying home?
@ChocOrange1

My phone seems to think so 🤷🏻‍♀️

@ChristmasinJune

It hasn't been the year I would have chosen and this winter has been very, very tough but I think it would always have been hard and being determined to be miserable wouldn't have helped anybody

Nice. I wasn't 'determined to be miserable. I was determined to do my best to stay alive & do my best to keep family members alive. Shitty comments like that are uncalled for

💐for all of those who lost loved ones

We managed to go on holiday(in the UK) during the summer, used EOTHO a few times, had bbqs and drinks in our and friends gardens, while sticking to the rules, kids met friends for socially distanced walks etc. However it was a far from normal summer. Feel for those who had a year’s worth of restrictions.

I love the posts that say "apart from breaking x rule, we didn't break any rules"

Last summer? 2 week holiday in 5* hotel in Greece (bargain), lots of bbqs with friends and fam all outside, visited local beach a few times in the heatwave (wasnt a busy one as a stoney beach), picnics in the park with friends and family. Glad I've got it to carry me through this winter